Looking for answers...

[Anonymous]

Khelira stood and entered the elder's cottage, once again bending low to keep her antlers from brushing the ceiling. Her wings wrapped around her shoulders tightly, much like a cape of sorts. She liked the smells in this cottage; there was something vaguely familiar about it.

Taking a sip from her own goblet, and smiling at the unexpected sweetness, Khelira sighed, turning her attention at last to the reason for her coming. "Several weeks ago, I heard news that a soldier had seen a faun on his way through this part of the Terrin range. My heart felt as if it would burst from my chest when I heard this. I started remembering things... I don't know what exactly, memories I suppose. Things from my past that I had forgotten until now.

"My mother... she was a faun herself. That is all I know of her. Something tells me I need to know more, that there's something I'm missing that, if I knew it, I would be able to understand myself that much better."

[Anonymous]

"Perhaps you should start from the beginning.  An old man has all the time in the world for a good story.  It might reveal more about you than you yourself even know."  Elder took another sip of his wine, and Febwin did, also.  She sat in her own chair, listening intently to the exchange.

[Anonymous]

Khelira flushed, her already peach-toned skin turning a deep red-orange for a brief moment. "Yes, I suppose that would help. I can't say I remember too much. It's been... a long time since I even thought about my past."

She remained still for a long time, turning her cup round and round in her hands, occasionally taking a sip of the berry wine. When she did finally speak, her voice was soft and her eyes remained fixed on the floor. "I remember I was born in the Draconi Forest, not too far outside of Ketra. My parents were... well, even the people of Ketra thought they were unusual. My mother was so small, I remember the top of her head only coming up to my father's chest and he was... he was very tall. He was a gargoyle, which I don't even know much about. I'm not entirely sure what a gargoyle is."

Khelira paused and took a deep breath. In her mind at least, this was neither the time nor the place for her defensive shell to break open and fall off. And why was she being so open with these fauns? She had never been like this with anyone before. At least, not that she could ever remember.

[Anonymous]

Elder rocked patiently as he waited for Khelira to open up to him a bit more.  It would be good for her to trust someone she'd never met.  Whether or not she could would determine how ready she truly was to find out about what her past had been trying to tell her.  "Can you remember anything about your parents?  Most people can remember the things they want to?"  He didn't want to pry into what had happened to them quite yet.  It would be better if she offered that information herself.  It was obvious that, if she had trouble remembering, something had happened to traumatize her.

Febwin, not realizing the elder was trying to get it out of Khelira directly, decided she could help despite not knowing anything further than what she was about to state.  "She told me her mother was a deer faun.  Do you know anything about them, Elder?"

Furrowing his brow ever so slightly, he brushed off the question, "We can get to such things in time.  For now, I would like to hear from Khelira."  Febwin nodded, embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

"As Febwin has said, my mother was a deer faun. She was...  very beautiful. I remember she used to dance, especially in the Spring. I was little and rather wobbly, but I would try to dance with her and..." Khelira let out a soft, breathy laugh.

"My mother was so good to me, to everyone really. It was like... she believed everyone had some good in them no matter what sort of bad thing they had done. My father always told her she needed to be on her guard a little more than she was. This was many years ago, almost 40 I believe, and at that time, the Draconi Forest was not the safest place for one with so peaceful a heart. In the end, I think that must be why she couldn't..." Her voice trailed off, flashes of the day her parents died flooding back the more she spoke. Her lower lip trembled and she bit it to keep from weeping openly. It wasn't in her nature to cry at all in front of others, much less ones she had just met. She wanted to, but she just didn't know how.

[Anonymous]

Khelira's pause signaled the beginning of a heavy silence.  After a moment, Febwin started to get fidgety, but the elder's eyes locked onto her, and she stilled.  "Go on, child.  I am not here to judge, but merely understand," he spoke soothingly.

[Anonymous]

Khelira nodded, her lip trembling. "I understand. I just... It's been a long time since these things happened and... I've never shared it with anyone before today."

She remained silent a moment longer, collecting her thoughts and trying to recall as much as she could without bursting into tears. "I was... 42 years old the last time I saw my parents. We were passing through a rather secluded section of the forest, travelling to wherever it was that my parents had planned on taking me. I'm not entirely sure where that was. Perhaps these mountains, perhaps another part of Arca, I don't know. But, it was near midday and my mother had just suggested we stop to rest for a bit, let the sun run her course a little more. I was climbing the trees in search of eggs when I heard a scream from below me. When I looked down, a group of dark, strange-looking men had surrounded my parents.

"I came down the tree to see better what was going on and one of the men grabbed me." Khelira shuddered at this memory and her tail wrapped itself tightly around one leg of her chair. "My father... he roared at the man who held me captive to let me go. When the man didn't let go, my father attacked and... the next thing I remember is being in my mother's arms and smelling the blood that had spattered on my face. My mother told me to hurry and hide somewhere, stay safe, so I leaped back up into the trees and hid in an old, dead tree that was all hollow. I didn't see anything of what followed, but I could hear the screams, the pain..." Khelira couldn't continue; her mind wouldn't allow it. She broke down in that moment and just cried, the first time in many years. It was a tortured sound, interspersed with low mewling sounds muffled by her hands, which now covered her face.

[Anonymous]

Learning of the events, the elder thought to himself that there was something odd about the story.  Dark men had attacked them, but to best a gargoyle required great skill.  She hadn't said how many, but it was strange that they should be able to survive against an enraged gargoyle.  He didn't say so out loud, but it was foremost in his mind.

Febwin was crestfallen at the story.  She would have liked to comfort Khelira, but the elder had already scolded her for interrupting, so she thought against it.  It was so horrible!  She had so many questions, though she supposed Khelira probably had the same ones.  Rather than butt in, she listened listlessly, waiting for the chance to do something.

Elder waited for Khelira to sort through her feelings, knowing that such a traumatic event could not have healed if one were still looking for answers.  When she seemed ready, he asked, "And what did you do after that?  What did you do with yourself?"

[Anonymous]

Khelira shook her head before speaking, in a very soft, shaky voice. "When I came out of my hiding place, it was...well, it must have been hours later. The sun was starting to set. I looked everywhere for my parents' bodies, but they were gone. The grass was soaked with blood, but no trace of what might have happened to the dark men or my parents. Nothing... I stayed in that clearing until morning, hidden in the tree hollow. In the morning, I made my way back to Ketra. I stayed with a family there who had been friendly with my parents, but only for a few days. When I left, I was given a small sword, a hunting knife, and a knapsack with some supplies. And a map, I remember the map."

Khelira reached into her knapsack and pulled out a very old map, possibly so old that it was not made from paper, but sheep skin, as the old processes dictated. "It's very brittle, but I carry it with me everywhere I go. I travelled... everywhere when I left Ketra. One would think that I would want to avenge my parents' deaths, but I didn't...and still don't. It would be a dishonour to their memory for me to do that when it's highly likely that I would get myself killed in the process. They died to protect me, to keep me alive. I can't betray that. And that's what I've been doing all these years; doing what must be done to keep myself alive. It's a selfish existence, but it's all I know."

[Anonymous]

"So you've traveled, and once you heard word of fauns, us, you began to remember what you'd tried to leave behind 40 years ago."  The elder thought for a short moment, "What kind of memories are they?  What would prompt you to come to someone else for answers after all this time?"

[Anonymous]

Khelira sighed, putting the map back in her knapsack. "I've told you what I can remember, actual memories. The rest is more feelings than anything else. How happy I was back then, how peaceful my life was... the way I felt so safe when I would sit in my father's lap and watch the sun set, his arms wrapped around me. Life was... good then. And I..." She paused and looked away from Elder, her face flushing again. It felt so awkward to say these things, after having kept them buried for so long. "I'd like to have that feeling back again."

[Anonymous]

The elder hadn't missed the hint that life hadn't been all that great after she'd lost her parents.  He could understand her hesitation to share any information about what she may have been up to once she'd been left on her own, what she'd been doing for the last 40 years.  Rather than bring it up, he chose to comfort her with partial truths.  "While I don't know what it is you may be searching for, I can help you find some deer fauns.  They might be able to give you insight to any questions you may have about your past."  The partiality in the truth was that he might actually know the true answers for which she searched, but he didn't feel it was right to give them to her directly.  Instead, he would give her the opportunity to find her own answers.

[Anonymous]

Khelira brightened considerably upon hearing what the Elder had to say next and she sat forward a little. "You can? Thank you. Thank you so much. But...where can I find them? Even if it is a long journey, I will do what I must to learn the answers to my questions." Truthfully, she wasn't entirely sure what she would ask when she did find these deer fauns, but the journey there would likely be long enough to allow for time to think.

[Anonymous]

The elder smiled, simply happy to be of help.  "That's a simple task, but it will take a few days and a guide to reach them.  They can be found in these very mountains, but are much closer to Adela than here.  However, the location is tricky to locate, so someone who knows how to communicate with forest spirits will be a necessary guide.  That's why I would like for Febwin to accompany you."

"I get to come along!?" Febwin cried happily.  She hopped out of her chair and pranced about with joy.  "I've never left the village before!  It's going to be so fun traveling with you, Khelira!"

Elder continued to smile, "Yes, I'm sure Khelira, who is so well traveled, can help you on your way.  You must remember to go for two day due south, at a casual pace, and you will reach the edge of this forest.  From there, you should go due west into another portion of the forest for about a day.  Once you get to that point, you can start asking the forest spirits for directions.  They are much more friendly over there than they are here, so you shouldn't have a problem."

"Okay, Elder.  Thank you so much for your help," she grinned like a fool at him, and then directed it toward Khelira.  She gave her a look that spoke worlds of how glad she was to be given the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Khelira bit her lip, trying not to laugh as Febwin pranced about in the Elder's hut. She loved how open and free the faun was with...well, everything it seemed. But she wasn't quite ready to show outwardly just how much she enjoyed watching Febwin.

Turning away from Febwin's prancing, Khelira nodded to the Elder. "Thank you, sir. For the help and for having Febwin come with me on this journey. I have no experience myself with forest spirits and honestly would not know where to begin if I needed to speak with them. I promise you that I will keep her as safe as I can while we travel."

Standing, still bent over a little, Khelira lay a hand on Febwin's shoulder gently, returning the smile, if a little more subdued. "We should take our leave and gather supplies for the journey. Can you show me where we may do this?"

[Anonymous]

Febwin nodded, "Yes, I can show you.  We can pack now and leave in the morning.  You can stay at my place tonight."  Her voice was packed with excitement, but she grew a little timid with the last suggestion, "Even if it is a little small."  She turned to the elder, "Thank you again, Elder.  If you don't mind, we'll take our leave now."  She bent a little at the waist with her leg out in a sort of oddly balanced curtsy.  Hooves must be difficult to balance on.

"That's fine, my child.  Be off with you, then," the old faun nodded her out the door, and Febwin practically dragged Khelira with her.  There was a pair that would learn much in the coming days.  Febwin was sheltered as part of the village, and she would learn the odd and sometimes terrible ways of the world.  Khelira was sheltered for a different reason.  Her life had necessitated her separation from the concept of trust.  He could tell it was hard for her, even now, to trust in these people she'd never met.  Time with Febwin would introduce her to a new set of priciples that she'd probably forgotten: a forgetfulness accompanying the tragedy of her parents' loss.

...

Febwin took Khelira into the village.  The sun was close to setting, and, what had been a nearly barren village as they'd walked through it the first time, became a bustling, cheerful place.  All the fauns who'd been out in the forest working had finished for the day and were conversing or interacting.  They went around to various huts, Febwin introducing where it was requested, and gathered various things they would need for a journey of several days through the forest.  Febwin wasn't sure exactly what all they would need, so she deferred to Khelira for some things.

Eventually, the sun went down, and Febwin dragged her interim house guest back to her place.  They both kind of stood in the doorway for a bit as Febwin surveyed the inside.  It was awfully small, after all.  A small bed was in one corner, and two others held tables; the one closest to the door had some chairs and a basin.  After a short time, Febwin unloaded her arms of the goods they'd bartered for onto the other table.  She turned to Khelira with that accomplished, "You can use my bed.  I'll just use some of the stuff we bought and sleep on the floor."

[Anonymous]

Khelira was a little dazed as she followed Febwin through the village, only speaking when being introduced to someone or when asked for her opinion on what they would need on the journey. The fauns here were so open and so kind...so much like her mother, even if their heritage was so different.

When she entered Febwin's home, Khelira kept her head bent low while she placed her weapons near the door. It was certainly small, but not cramped. It was...cozy, for lack of a better word. Again, as with the Elder's home, it smelled nice.

When Febwin offered her bed to Khelira for the night, she was rather surprised, but she had the feeling that this faun would not argue the matter, so she only smiled and thanked her for the generous offer. After examining the bed for a moment, she didn't want to break it, Khelira set her knapsack at one end and bit her lip.

"I know you would most likely not mind, but I feel I must ask... Would you mind terribly if I removed my top before I get in bed? It's not exactly the most comfortable thing to sleep in."

[Anonymous]

"Don't mention it," Febwin replied to Khelira's thanks.  Her next statement made her blink.  Febwin looked down at her own bared chest and back at Khelira questioningly.  Her face broke into a grin and she giggled a bit, "Of course!  Don't feel the need to hold back on my account."  She continued to giggle as she pulled out one of the bed rolls she'd purchased and spread it out in one of the more open spaces on the floor.

[Anonymous]

"Well, I just wanted to be sure," Khelira said, as she sat down on Febwin's bed. She watched Febwin for a moment, then turned her attention to the matter of removing her top. There was a bit of dried wolf's blood on the soft leather, some of which had crusted onto the laces.

She had to pick at it for a bit, but the knot at the top came undone quick enough. 'I'll have to make some new laces for it pretty soon if I can't soften these up,' she thought. With one hand, she loosened the laces up before pulling them out completely and shrugging the material off her shoulders. Oddly enough, it felt liberating to be bare-chested like this, instead of the embarassment and discomfort she felt when she was bathing in a river. It must have had something to do with the 'free-spirit' nature of the fauns.

After folding the top and placing it in her knapsack, Khelira shuffled herself underneath the blanket and propped herself up on one elbow. "Febwin... are you really as happy as you seemed in the Elder's home to be coming with me on this journey?"

[Anonymous]

Febwin didn't watch as Khelira undressed.  She'd heard that made some people nervous.  Instead, she finished packing her own stuff into a bag, including the top she might need if they ever ran into anyone that didn't appreciate loose attitudes on nudity.  Maybe she could get a new one while away from the village.  As she'd mentioned before, her present top was a few years past puberty too small for her.

Khelira managed to settle beneath her blanket, and Febwin glanced up at the question.  "Of course I am.  I've always wanted to see outside of the village, but it's too scary just to leave by myself.  That, and the least I can do for you after you saved my life is to be a guide for you through the forest."  Really, it was just any excuse to stay with her.  Febwin wasn't sure if she could empathize with Khelira's past, but she could certainly sympathize.  It seemed as if Khelira could probably use a person to stay by her side.  It was truly a shame that she'd probably wind up parting ways with her once they reached the village of the deer fauns.  Febwin settled down herself and layed down on her bed roll.  She looked up at her house guest from her place on the floor with a smile that disguised the thoughts swimming around in her head.