"Okay! A story you shall have then! Let's see....oh, well! In my world, we have these...heroes of sorts. They're known throughout the land really, picked by the Gods to be their instruments in time of extreme necessity. It wasn't always this way though, it's said that the Gods must wait for their instruments to grow, for it to be the right time. One of these people, these grand heroes...well, his life before being a champion of the divinity was one of...interesting ways. I travelled with him for a while, both when he was wasn't a hero, and when he was. This was...before all that." Pal had told the story many times before, and he launched into it right away, eager to tell them of his exploits as a 'youth.' They didn't have to believe him, but it woulda been nice!
"Dragons in my world are much different. They're completely and utterly sentient with the ability to shapeshift into humanoid forms. They live in cities all over the place, some in the mountains that are their own, and some that are just in fields and plains. Anyway...this hero, Derit, that was his house name, thought it would be good fun to go visit the Ancient City of the Dragons. They're big on traditions and ancient customs, and have this thing called the Sceptre of Starlight. It's an incredibly sacred artifact that the leader of the eight dragon clans gets to use. So he drags me along to go and...well steal it. Not for profit, not to start a war, but because he felt the inkling. Derit did a lot of things 'because he felt an inkling' really. So we get the city, invited in, wander around for a while, scoping out the palace. Dead of night he sneaks us both in through a shadow to the main hall. I mean they didn't even do a good job of guarding it. It was just out on a pedestal waiting! He slips around the guards, knocks them out one by one, then grabs the sceptre! Oh you have never heard such noise. They'd enchanted the pedestal to go off if anyone who wasn't the correct dragon grabbed it. The whole city is awoken by the noise, and they are FURIOUS." Pal remembered how scared he had been because of this..and remembered how much he wished they had just visited a brothel or something.
No such luck though.
"Anyway...we're running for our lives. The entire city had some anti-teleport shield up, strong enough to even stop me from using the fog to escape. We are dodging patrols, we are sneaking through sewers, heck, we had to go smash through the wall of a house at one point, and then jump out a window. The whole time, I had thought he'd have just...gotten bored with the idea of stealing the sceptre and we'd have gone drinking that night instead. Really wish I hadn't let him talk me into." He shook his head and sighed deeply. He was crazy sure, and he loved a good time, but when an entire race got angry with you? Well it wasn't fun! He liked to be mostly harmless, and that stunt had really been anything but.
"Finally though we're almost at the city walls. What's waiting there? The Royal Queen, the Royal Princess, the High Priestess, and an escort of the highest trained divine warriors that they have. That right there? That's bad news. If I had a bladder, I'd have definitely needed a clean robe. This is serious stuff, we stole a holy artifact of an entire race, and we're facing a pretty harsh punishment for being caught. What does Derit do? Turns on the ol' charm. This guy was good...being a vampire an' all that. The Queen didn't fall for it...but with the sceptre returned, this guy is walking away with the Royal Princess and the High Priestess! I mill around town for a few days, finally he walks out unharmed, unscathed, and the biggest, stupidest grin I ever seen on someone. Let's just say after those three days, he ah...found out every ticklish spot on the princess and the priestess. First thing he says to me though? 'Let's go steal the Bow of the Matron Mother from the Elves.' I ain't a very violent person but I almost punched him right there." Honestly, Pal had enjoyed the exhilarating rush that the chase and everything had brought to them...mostly. He had felt alive though...and that was the grandest feeling.
Dal was...almost awestruck by the story. She of course started blushing near the end there with talk of the rogue seducing the two dragons, but sex was just a part of life, a good part, though...there were some questions. She was a bit of a prude, but she had an analytical mind, and having sex with an undead creature....well it didn't produce children for one...so it was slightly iffy...but the fact that he had been able to was a whole different story. "That wert a most fascinating story Pal. Thou art very lucky thine didn't end up as a meal." Dal chided the wraith slightly, though it sounded as if he had known better. Still, it was funny to think that the Wraith had been privy to such a fascinating tale. But...at the same time, it could just have been a story with no truth to it.
Either way, it was definitely a good way to pass the time.
