Apologies [Past]

[Marjorie]

The night after that awkward interaction, when Arcturus had realized that Imogen was his resonance, he hadn't seen Imogen at supper. She'd avoided him for the whole day after... but in the days that followed, though she didn't approach him, and wouldn't interact with him, he did see her. Little glimpses, here and there. Sometimes he caught her looking at him, though she would quickly turn away and leave if he noticed.

She was drawn to him, it seemed, as he had been to her. If only he could figure out how to make her understand. First, he thought, he'd have to heal the awkwardness that had grown between them - he knew that was his fault.

Arcturus was sitting on a large stone near the well, meditating. He could feel her nearing before even he could hear her, and he had picked up the sound of her footsteps from a good distance away. He waited until she was all the way to the well before he spoke.

"Imogen," he said gently, though he didn't move or open his eyes, afraid she's run again. "If you would, please, allow me a moment of your time -- I wish to apologize for my earlier behavior."

[Incandesa]

Although Imogen had made it a priority to avoid Arcturus, somehow she kept coming back to him, as if she were drawn to him no matter how hard she tried. It was frustrating how she couldn't just leave him well alone and instead snuck glimpses of him here and there.

When he called her name, she jumped and was about to run off again when he apologized. She turned to him, but did not dare to venture any closer. She didn't exactly know how to respond. Should she forgive him? Apologize for her own behavior? Right now, she just wanted to run away again, but he had already called to her, and it would be too rude to leave a guest.

She settled with keeping still and eyeing him carefully, fully prepared to run if the opportunity should arise.

[Marjorie]

Arcturus opened his eyes and smiled warmly at Imogen. She didn't have to accept his apology or forgive him - apologies were meaningless if one demanded or expected forgiveness, sense an apology was recognition of one's own wrong doing. As such, he did not ask for her forgiveness. "I was too forward, I realize now... It was not my intention to frighten you. I am deeply," he looked her directly in the eyes, "and truly sorry that I did." 

It took a great deal of restraint for him to remain sitting there, not moving, as he was. He wanted to  run to her. He wanted to confess his heart to her and open his soul to her. He wanted to make her understand.

"I hope that you will not feel the need to hide from me anymore. I promise, you will never be in danger from me."

[Incandesa]

Imogen did not back away from him, however, nor did she draw closer to Arcturus. At least now, he didn't seem as much of a raving lunatic. With an eyebrow raised, she continued to watch him sceptically. For now, she would hear him out. "What is it exactly that you want from me?" she asked, after a moment. That was the biggest question on her mind. In his ramblings, he had said things about resonance and fate, but nothing comprehensive to her mind. Arcturus could have just as easily spoken in a completely foreign language for the amount that she understood.

Her heart continued to flutter in her chest, as her flurry of emotions threatened to take over. Every instinct told her to leave, but she would give him one chance to make his case. One chance, and one chance only. Any sign of the crazy raving from before and she would bolt without hesitation.

[Marjorie]

"I don't think I explained myself well before," Arcturus said gently, "I was too caught off guard, too excited... A resonance is a belief of my people. Two people, two souls in harmony - souls emit a sound, and when two resonate they bond and bind. Did you notice the change in my voice then?" He paused to let her think back on it, but he didn't wait for her to respond. "The sounds are always there - it's my second voice, only mortals can't hear it until the sound is amplified by extreme emotions. When a Starstrider's soul resonates with another's they can hear it - feel it. Others usually cannot hear it, but they can, sometimes, feel it.

"You might call a resonant... a soul-mate."

Arcturus looked at her earnestly. "You are my other half," he said, quietly, "I cannot be complete without you. However, I would never force you to be with me.

"I am willing to earn your affection -- or to accept that you do not have feelings for me." Though if he came to truly believe that he would very likely take his own life. 

[Incandesa]

A soulmate... Oh dear, that was infinitely worse. Tears began to well up in Imogen's eyes as she felt that familiar pang in her chest. It grabbed at her heart and squeezed until she couldn't breathe. If only hope could help her, but it had died a long time ago. "I wish I could believe in something like that, I really do," she said in a shy, mournful tone, "But we barely know each other, and it's already been made abundantly clear to me that I don't deserve that kind of love. From Anyone."

She wanted to run away and hide her face, but it was like there was a rope that kept her tied to her spot. To move toward Arcturus was less painful but dangerous to her heart, while moving away from him was all around painful. Instead, she opted for her last defense and shifted to a small white rabbit and curled up into a ball. But still, she did not move towards or away from him. Imogen was glad that at least as a rabbit, her crying was not be nearly so loud. She needed comfort and care, but she believed there was no one who could give it to her.

[Marjorie]

Arcturus looked rather crestfallen at her words, but not without hope. "Everyone deserves to be loved like that," he said softly, "a gentle soul like your most of all." He was patient though. Willing to wait and work to gain her trust and make her believe. He couldn't believe that it was impossible to do either - because if it was, then there was no further reason for him to continue on with this life.

"May I..." he reached out a hand toward Imogen when she shifted into her tiny rabbit form, but didn't move from where he sat on the rock he had been meditating on earlier. "Please, may I comfort you?" His tone was earnest, pleading almost, the strange , but harmonious sounds of his second voice weaving around his spoken voice. It was killing him to watch her suffer. The thought that she felt so unworthy as to not deserve love broke his heart. He died a little inside, imagining what pain must have brought on such a belief. What abuse had her heart been the victim of in the past.

[Incandesa]

After a moment Imogen slowly crept forward. her paw touched his hand and jerked back as though she feared it might burn her. But when she saw that he didn't do anything, she inspected him again. She sniffed and poked until she felt it was saf. Then she climbed onto his hand and returned to her curled ball position. She was small enough that she easily fit into just one of his large hands.

Immediately, she began to feel better, though she didn't understand why. It was simply nice to his large hand around her, like a protective barrier. While her tears didn't immediately dry up, they slowed and the pain in her heart didn't claw at her like it had before.

[Marjorie]

Arcturus remained still while Imogen tentatively crept forward and investigated his outstretched hand. It pained him that she mistrusted him so much. He could never do anything to harm her. When she did, at last, climb onto his hand, he slowly, almost cautiously drew his hand back toward him. He cradled the tiny rabbit that was his resonance against his chest, and pet her gently, as if he were afraid of breaking her.

"Imogen," he murmured quietly, "you will always be safe with me, no matter what you want or feel." This, her willingness to come to him, the fact that he could comfort her, despite her beliefs and words - this gave him a glimmer of hope that with time and patience she could come to believe what he said was true, that she might come to feel, someday, as he did.