[Moved thread. This is Xxerth's show.]
Xxerth
Billy Evil
Posts: 744
(11/3/04 1:53 pm)
Reply
CluB. MeL. Nehru!
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"Wait-wait-wait. Nope...nope. Can't do it," said Nehru after breaking on her motorcycle (<- plot hole, try to find others!), stopping only inches from colliding with the front doors of the Club.
"Yes you can!! w00ya!!!!" hollered F-Zero X in encouragement, playing a short and loud riff on his guitar afterwards.
"Hey! I'll do it! Let me have a shot at it!" offered Kelly as she cracked her knuckles.
"No can do," replied F-Zero as the blond rocker ruffled Kelly's short, burgundy hair.
After frantically swatting X's hand away, Kelly crossed her arms and pouted, "Awww! That's no fun!"
She wasn't the only one disappointed by F-Zero's answer. Nehru's eyebrows bent upwards in pleading and she asked, "Why is that? I'd gladly let Kelly run the motorcycle through the door."
F-Zero X threw himself to his knees, arched his back, and slammed out another loud note on his electric guitar. He pointed straight at Nehru and said loudly as he got back to his feet, "'CUZ!! You're the hero!! That means you're the only one who can do it!! ROCK ON, BABY!!!"
Nehru sighed and let her head hang (and if this were a Japanese Anime, a large sweatdrop would appear on her head right about now). "Remind me again why you two are here...?"
F-Zero and Kelly alike blasted a loud tune on their electric guitars. As Kelly finished out the tune, X explained noisily, "We're here to play awesome music to accompany you on your quest!!"
"And just wait 'til the soundtrack comes out!! We'll be filthy rich!!" added Kelly with a maniacal look in her eye.
[Take 2]
Nehru accelerated the cycle rapidly and was cruising down the street towards the Club at a breakneck speed. F-Zero X and Kelly were by the doors cheering her on.
*Heart-beat...*
*Heart-beat...*
This was it...!!!! Oh hell no!!
SCREEEEECH!!!
Nehru swerved the bike to a stop and unceremoniously was tossed off of it like a cowboy with no fingers riding an angry bull full of steroids. After rubbing her rear end for the appropriate amount of time before all the pain was magically healed (oldest trick in the book), Nehru staggered back to her feet.
"Are you sure I have to do it like this?" she asked. "I mean, there's a door knob right there-"
F-Zero shrugged, "I dunno. Check Old Plot Device Prophet again."
Nehru complied, taking out the puppet from her coat pocket and pulling its string. It said in its creaky, strangely pre-recorded sounding voice, "When you get to the Club...use...ehm...a motorcycle. It'll be coooooooooool...."
"There you have it!" exclaimed Kelly as she whiplashed her index finger to point at the front doors of Club Mel. "Now bust those doors down with your bike. You can do it!!"
"SHE CAN DO IT!!!" F-Zero slammed out another loud guitar riff.
"Ok, ok, I'll do it this time," affirmed Nehru, adding, "but before we cut to Take 3, how about we have a deskriptive intermission for you two? The reader might think you're aliens from the planet Zerg or...something."
"ROCKIN'!!" agreed X.
"Hey! You spelled de*****ive wrong!" Kelly pointed out.
"Well, I have to," said Nehru, holding up a finger informatively. "If I spell it right, Ezboard replaces some of the letters with astericks, like what happened to you."
(That is weird, isn't it?)
--F-Zero, a young man in appearance and stature, had blond, spiky hair, blue eyes, and a red bandana wrapped around his forehead. He wore red chaps over black jeans, a bright red vest with plenty of black straps wrapping around it, a black choker, and black wrist and arm bands.
--Kelly, adolescent in appearance and stature, had reddish eyes and short, burgundy hair that had six spikes towards the bottom in asterick formation that almost made it look like her neck had wings from the front. She wore a green baby doll shirt with a gold star on the center of it and low-cut, faded black jeans.--
[Take 3]
Nehru took off as fast as the bike could accelerate, cruising easily down the street for the third time. F-Zero and Kelly were cheering her on once again by the door...
*Heart-beat...*
*Heart-beat...*
This was all so familiar...there was a French term for it...stupid French people...making their words so hard to spell...making people think if they use them they're sophisticated and intelligent and poetic and stylish...
And it was now that Nehru noticed the doors straight ahead of her-
Screw this!! BAIL!!!
Nehru jumped off the motorcycle and rolled to a stop on the ground. The bike, on the contrary, crashed hard into the front doors of Club Mel and broke them open roughly.
"ALRIGHT!! YOU DID IT!!!" X made some funny hand gestures that probably had something to do with rock music.
"That was so cool!!" commented Kelly excitedly with a big, mischievious grin.
"Am I still alive...?" Nehru asked woozily as she lifted her head from the ground and saw F-Zero and Kelly. "Yup..." she let head fall back down to the pavement.
That was so crazy...
Xxerth
Billy Evil
Posts: 749
(11/4/04 3:51 pm)
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< Nehru!, F-Zero X, Kelly
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Nehru, X, and Kelly strode into the Club like the owned the place...because...that's the best way to enter someplace...because you're acting like you own it...and that's cool...I think.
Anyway, Kelly was the first one to notice two clowns in black suits wearing face paint and wily-looking red-headed dude by the door on the inside. And Nehru and F-Zero were the first two to cringe once Kelly yelped in surprise.
"Clowns! They're coming to get me!!" she exclaimed as she bolted around to hide behind X.
As F-Zero, the brave and gallant warrior of music he was, bit his lip and buckled his knees, Nehru greeted them simply with, "Hiyas."
"We've been waiting," said the taller of the two clowns.
"What took you so long?" said the heavier of the two clowns.
"Um...technical difficulties," Nehru explained awkwardly. "Ok...who are you guys, anyway...?"
"My name is Jhay," said the heavier of the two.
"My name is Shaggay," said the taller of the face-painted clowns.
And together, they slipped on a pair of sunglasses each and said, "We're the Clowns in Black."
"They're gonna eat me..." said a trembling, twitching, and terrified Kelly from behind F-Zero.
"Ok..." said Nehru, feeling it best not to have them elaborate. Then, to the red-haired dude, "And you?"
The dude smirked and ran a hand through his hair and said lavishly, "I have plenty of different names, my dear. But you can call me...The Fleur."
"So... WHAT'S UP YO? OWW!!" greeted F-Zero loudly, Kelly's contagious phobia of clowns suddenly gone from him for the sake of him asking a question which will advance the story somewhat. Yeah, that is convenient. Cool, huh?
The Fleur snickered and answered playfully, "Well look up and find out, my dear." The Fleur tittered politely and said, "Oh wasn't that marvelously funny and witty?"
Jhay looked a Shaggay and nodded: He was authorized to disclose information, so Shag spoke, "We're here to see the Melovingian..."
The Fleur batted a hand at the Clowns in Black and remarked, "And there I was thinking that we were here to party after those dreadful shootings..."
"Shhhhh..." hissed Jhay silently.
Mildly surprised, Nehru popped another question towards the Clowns, "Wow. You're here to see the Melovingian too?"
Meanwhile, upon the balcony overlooking the Club, the Melovingian was reclining easily into his plush chair. The Clones were each standing behind the chair and at attention, ready to do their master's bidding. And, last but not least, Radeon was in her own chair busily typing away on a computer.
"Is the program complete, Radeon...?" asked the Melovingian after taking a sip from his glass of wine.
"Just about, my lord. I have watched several days worth of Tech TV as you bid me too; it is only small matter of time now," replied Radeon, still pecking away at the keys of her bulletproof (bulletproof?) laptop.
"Hmmhmmhmm...good," The Melovingian snickered. "It is brilliant. I will make an army of cloned, hyper-active little girls and take over the world! No one will be able to resist their cuteness! Now all I need is a cute little girl...."
Radeon perked her head up. "Some people have entered the Club, Melovingian. Our neat little green light scanner...thingie picked them up."
The Clones looked at each other, apprehensive to the news.
The Melovingian's interest was perked. "Oh...?" He put his glass of wine down on the table before him. "Is that so? Excellent, the green light scanner thingie never fails..."
The Melovingian rose from his chair and strode over to the edge of the balcony overlooking his Club. By the front doors, she saw: A girl in a hot pink longcoat, a rock star, a teenage punk, two face-painted Clowns in Black, and a red-haired dude.
He rubbed his chin and considered the lot; he knew he should invite the them up to the balcony. Why, if he didn't, his two real life friends might get mad at him or something for not playing along in the grand and mega plot they hatched together...or something like that.
"All of you," called out the Melovingian. "Welcome to my Club...I should like to invite all of you to join me up on the balcony. I wish to speak with you..."
!!!!
At that moment, a pretty average looking guy strolled into the Club to look around inside of it. The Melovingian gasped and his eyes widened: An expert assassin from present-day New Jersey!!!
"You!!" shouted the Melovingian at the average guy. "Who thinks my Club looks like his old hangout in New Jersey!! Get!! Get on outta here!! Go I say!!"
The average guy, looking quite shocked, tried to explain innocently, "I...I'm just here. I'm not a threat unless messed with-"
The Melovingian grew more furious and hucked a rolled up newspaper at the average man. "I said scat! Get! Damn assassin!! Get outta here! Who invited you??"
"Who invited them...?" Average guy questioned after the newspaper smacked him in the forehead.
"I said get along now!! Move it, short-stuff!!" The Melovingian yelled again. When he reached to grab another rolled-up newspaper, the "assassin" beat feet and ran out of the club. The Melovingian brushed his hands together and sat back down in his seat.
After the fiasco with the "assassin," Jhay and Shaggay glanced at each other and began to make their way towards the stairs leading up, the Fleur following suit after waving at Nehru and winking at her for no good reason.
Nehru raised an eyebrow at the gesture, then said to her companions, "Come on, he wants to talk to us. Let's get this over with..."
"Are the Clowns gone...?" asked Kelly in trepidation, peeking out from behind F-Zero.
"YOU BET!!" F-Zero slammed out another guitar riff, which echoed within the confines of the Club.
Nehru shook her head and started for the stairs after The Fleur.
Xxerth
Billy Evil
Posts: 751
(11/5/04 12:07 pm)
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< Nehru!, F-Zero X, Kelly
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"Have a seat...hmmhmmhmm..." offered the Melovingian, gesturing towards the big couch across from his own chair.
And, indeed, it was a big couch, with just enough room for six people to sit down. Perfect.
The six all sat down on the sofa offered to them. They sat down in the order of Jhay, Kelly, Shaggay, F-Zero X, Nehru, and finally The Fleur on the other end.
"Hey!!" F-Zero interjected suddenly. "I thought you were scared to death of clowns, Kelly, and now you're sitting between them? What's up man?"
Kelly brought a finger to her lips and hissed 'Shhhh!', then elaborated in a low whisper. "Be quiet...the author is trying to forget an inconvenient detail by acting like it never existed so that others will forget too! Play along, idiot..."
Nehru shook her head; what a ridiculous idea. That's right! You go girl! That is a ridiculous idea, isn't it? Why would the author selectively forget something? That's just silly...
"Ohh! Right!" replied F-Zero, who clapped his hands over his loud mouth.
Stupid idiot. Loose lips sinks ships.
"We got this," said Jhay.
"Can I ask you, good reader, to look right here?" Shaggay asked you kindly. Well, he asked to kindly. Do it!
<center>(Little more to the right) -> • <- (Little more to the left)</center>
Jhay and Shaggy each took out Faygo-class Mindblanking pens and flashed them on that spot-
....
....
....
"Have a seat...hmmhmmhmm..." offered the Melovingian, gesturing towards the big couch across from his own chair.
And, indeed, it was a big couch, with just enough room for six people to sit down. Perfect.
The six all sat down on the sofa offered to them. They sat down in the order of Jhay, Kelly, Shaggay, F-Zero X, Nehru, and finally The Fleur on the other end.
Jhay and Shaggay nodded to each other.
The Melovingian acquired his glass of wine from the table between him and his guests, reclined back in his comfy chair, and crossed his legs. "I have brought all of you here because I have a proposition to make..."
Nehru perked an eyebrow and explained, "No, um, actually, we all sorta came here to see-"
The Melovingian sat up straight in his chair and interjected, "No, no, no. I brought you here..."
Nehru frowned and blinked. "Uh...no you didn't. Old Plot Device Prophet said-"
"Zip it!" The Melovingian said quickly.
"But-"
"Zip it!" The Melovingian said again.
Nehru looked highly perplexed. The Melovingian balled his right hand into a fist save for the little finger and touched the corner of his mouth with said pinky.
Nehru blinked, then tried again, "But we-"
"I'm French!" The Melovingian announced, taking a feverish swig of his wine. "That means I'm right and you're wrong!"
"He's French...?" started The Fleur. "That means we have a Communist in the room!" (<- punchline) The Fleur tittered like that was the funniest thing in the entire world, swated at Nehru, and asked through laughs, "Wasn't that fantabulously rich?"
The Fleur giggled increasingly riotously and fell off the couch, rolling back and forth and, strangely enough, winking uncontrollably for some reason.
The Melovingian's face was one of restrained disgust. "Does this happen...often?"
"Often enough," stated Shaggay.
Jhay ninja-smacked Shaggay on the back of the head; he wasn't authorized to disclose information.
The Fleur barfed up some half-digested ham and twitched like a seizure victim.
The Melovingian slowly raised an eyebrow after his floor was ralphed on. "Right...now where was I?"
"We were just talking about how we came here to see you," said Nehru flatly.
"Oh, yes. I brought ya'll here because I have a proposition to make..." started the Melovingian before taking another sip on his wine.
Nehru smacked her forehead and shook her head. A couple seconds later, she noticed something. "Hey...I thought you said you were French. French people don't say 'ya'll', that's actually Southern-"
"Zip it!" The Melovingian said quickly, doing the thing with his pinky again. "Who's the French person here? That's right. I am!"
"Ok, ok...you're the French man," conceded Nehru. "Now can we please get on with it?"
"Very well then," The Melovingian took another savory sip from his wine. "I brought ya'll here because I have a proposition to make..."
And just when you're about to find out what the Melovingian's proposition is!
(cliffhanger)
Meanwhile, outside Club Mel, a massive eight-foot tall werecoyote just so happened by.
"That was so close Sign! I thought that I might lose you forever, and woe to world if I did! Because I would kill and murder everyone after I ruthlessly hunted down the one who did it and tore them apart!!" Flamebeast said to his companion. "You're lucky that I knew of such a skilled healer so close by, huh Sign?"
(You have become better at Ego! [144])
Flamebeast looked at his companion, whom he carried in his own hand. Sign was, in fact, a big red Stop sign...with two small angel wings attached to the back. The bullet hole near the top of the Stop sign had two crossing bandaids over it - skilled healer indeed.
"I love you so much Sign!" Flamebeast blurted out suddenly as he hugged the Stop sign. "I would take a bullet for you!!"
....Oh really?
Anyway, Flamebeast noticed the Club then. "Club Mel? That sounds like the kind of place where I can easily find allies."
He glanced back at Sign suddenly and asked it, "What's that Sign? I should completely stop building an army, reject all of my ideas, go totally out of character, and fall madly and obsessively in love with you for no explicit reason? Okay! Anything for you, my beloved Sign! Aren't you happy?"
....
....
A tumble weed blew by.
Sign said nothing.
"Why are you so unresponsive to me!?!?" Flamebeast demanded, near tears. "I give you my heart and soul and fire powers that are more often used to my advantage than yours and you still feel nothing for me?! Oh the humanity!!"
Sign still said nothing, which made a lot of sense because Sign was a...Stop sign.
Flamebeast pounded on his chest with a fist and monologued, "But alas! I feel as though I must go inside this Club!"
He took a few steps towards Club Mel and then stopped. "What the? Where'd these puppet strings come from? Hmm...weird."
Flamebeast tore off all of the puppet strings that were attached to him and continued inside the Club with Sign in hand.
Edited by: Xxerth at: 11/5/04 2:59 pm
Xxerth
Billy Evil
Posts: 755
(11/8/04 2:55 pm)
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< Nehru!, F-Zero X, Kelly
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"Go on! Ask him what is proposition is!" ordered both Clones A and B.
Nehru blinked. "Ok...Melovingian, what's your prop-?"
"Hey!" interrupted Kelly suddenly. "Can we guess? How about we guess? I wanna take a stab at it!"
The Melovingian furrowed his eyebrows and replied, "No, I'd have someone ask me so that I can ominously-"
"You're gonna send us on a dangerous mission?" ventured Kelly, regardless of what Mel said.
"We're gonna throw an awesome music show in your honor?? Rock on!" guessed F-Zero before he jammed out on an air guitar.
"Do we have to investigate something?" asked Shaggay, getting in on the guessing groove.
"Torment my adopted child?" asked The Fleur as he crawled back up onto the sofa and sat down.
"Solve a mystery?" postulated Jhay, rubbing his chin a little.
"No!" The Melovingian interjected forcefully. "No! No! No! None of those things! Now then, Nehru, ask me what my proposition is..."
She took in a deep breath, preparing herself for round two...waitaminute. "Hey, how did you know my name?"
"Knave!" The Melovingian exclaimed in response.
....
Nehru blinked, then glanced at her comrades to her left and right. "...How did you know-"
"KNAVE!!" The Melovingian exclaimed even louder. He calmly took a sip of his wine afterwards.
"Ok...I'll let that one slide." She exhaled and asked once again, "What are you proposing to us, Melovingian?"
He held up a finger and set his wine glass down on the table before him. "Ah, but first, you do not yet know my name, do you?"
Nehru frowned and said flatly, "You're the Melovingian...right?"
He stood up out of his chair abruptly and pointed his finger straight at her. "Not the Melovingian, dear Nehru...MAGIC EMPEROR MELOVINGIAN!! HAHAHAHA!!!"
Radeon perked an eyebrow and corrected, "No, sir...you're actually not a Magic Emperor."
The Melovingian looked shocked when he glanced at Radeon, but the realization soon hit him. "Oh, yes, right...I was just channeling my inner Ghaleon is all."
"I wonder if I have an inner Ghaleon..." Kelly wondered aloud.
"I do! OWW!!" X gave his loud input.
"No you don't," said both Jhay and Shaggay.
"Damn..." mumbled F-Zero.
The Melovingian fixed his tie and rocked his shoulders some. He pointed his finger at Nehru once more and tried again, "Not merely the Melovingian, Nehru...I am THE MELOVINGIAN GIBSON!!!"
(OMFG!!)
Jhay: "What??"
F-Zero: "Whoa!!"
The Fleur: "Unbelievable!!"
Kelly: "No way!!"
Shaggay: "Incredible!!"
Nehru: "...Wait. Who?"
(Que funny record switching noise)
The Melovingian turned a look on Nehru as if that were the most heretical question ever asked. "You know not who the Melovingian Gibson is? I am the sworn archenemy of all that is English!! I am the bane of the British!" He held his hands on his hips and grinned.
Nehru blinked, then narrowed her eyes. "Hey, if you're the archenemy of everything English...then what about the language? Why are you-?"
The Melovingian chuckled. "Why do you think I'm talking in French?"
....
"No, um, actually," started Nehru. "You're speaking in Eng-"
"Who's the French man??" interjected the Melovingian. "Who's the French man??"
"Alright, alright, you're the French man," Nehru once again conceded. "So what's your proposition...Melovingian Gibson?"
"Simple..." started the Melovingian as he drummed his fingers together in such a way that would have made Mr. Burns file a copyright infringement. He opened his mouth to speak again-
"Sir!" Radeon said suddenly and urgently. "Our green light scanner thingie has detected an unknown xenomorph in the perimeter!"
The Melovingian glanced over at her. "What??"
"It's getting closer and moving fast!" reported Radeon worriedly, as her laptop periodically beeped. "Thirty meters...twenty five meters!"
"What're we gonna do?? What're we gonna do?? AH!!" F-Zero freaked out, jumped off the couch and tripped over the table.
Jhay and Shaggay each stood up and reached for their Noisy Cockroach pistols; The Clones each took out their razor blades.
"Twenty meters! ...Fifteen meters!" Radeon relayed the info from her motion detector, the beeping of it increasing in frequency.
"They're gonna come in through the walls!! They're gonna come in through the walls!!" F-Zero shouted in a panic as he crawled behind Radeon's chair to hide.
"I needa gun! I needa gun!" exclaimed Kelly.
"I need a camera! This is all too rich!" said the Fleur, batting a hand at Nehru again.
"Ten meters! ...Five meters!" Cold sweat ran down Radeon's face.
"We're all gonna die! I don't wanna die!" exclaimed F-Zero from behind Radeon's seat.
"Remain calm!" The Melovingian ordered everyone. "I'll handle this!"
"What if they got acid for blood and tongues with teeth sir?" asked Radeon anxiously.
....
The Melovingian's brave and confident facial ex-pression dropped when she opened her mouth. "Someone else handle it!" Mel quickly vaulted over Radeon's chair and hid behind it with F-Zero.
Kelly punched Nehru on the shoulder and reassured her, "I got your back!"
As Kelly wielded her electric guitar like a baseball player would a bat, Nehru got up and murmured, "Thanks alot..."
With Nehru out in front, Kelly right behind her, the Clowns in Black to her right, and the Clones to her left, the unknown xenomorph entered the balcony area...
!!!!
And all it was was an eight-foot tall werecoyote with a weird stop sign in its hand.
"All that commotion over...that?" said Nehru disappointedly, raising an eyebrow.
"That!?" roared Flamebeast. "Fear and tremble before me!! I'm EIGHT FEET TALL!! "
Nehru blinked. "...So?"
"So?? What do you mean so?? I'm eight feet tall!!" pressed Flamebeast.
Nehru leaned her head to the side. "What's your point?"
Flamebeast shook his head angrily and said quickly, "Nevermind that, nevermind that. The reason I'm here is because someone here tried to take something very important away from me..." He drew the stop sign he held so dearly closer to himself. "Anyone here know whodunit?"
Jhay shook his head.
Shaggay shook his head.
Nehru shook her head.
Clone A shook his head.
Clone B shook his head.
Kelly had a big mouth; she jumped up and down with her free hand held high into the air and exclaimed, "Here! HERE! Pick me! I know! I know!"
Flamebeast surveyed the lot and scratched his furry chin. "Lots like no one here knows... But I have a way of finding out!" He called out, "Assassin!"
....
....
Another tumble weed blew by.
No one came.
"Uhm...the, uh, 'assassin' guy wouldn't have happened to have been from present-day New Jersey, would he? Because a guy like that was kicked outta here not too long ago..." informed Nehru, pointing with her thumb back towards the door.
"Curses! Foiled again!" Flamebeast thought for a little more. "Nonetheless, I still know whodunit! Because I have a super sense of smell that I can use to find anyone!!"
(You have become better at Ego! [145])
Flamebeast pointed straight at Nehru and exclaimed, "It was you! You are the one who tried to steal from me something I care about very dearly." He cuddled the stop sign he carried with even more affection. "But you won't get away with it!"
Nehru, aghast, pointed at herself incredulously. "Wait. Me?? I think you're making a huge mistake-"
"I never make mistakes!!" countered Flamebeast.
(You have become better at Ego! [146])
The werecoyote continued, "You're the one! I know! Sign is very mad at you! Now...I'm only going to ask you this once..."
Nehru gulped.
Flamebeast growled threateningly, "Leggo my Eggo..."
Xxerth
Billy Evil
Posts: 759
(11/11/04 4:11 pm)
Reply
< Nehru, F-Zero X, Kelly
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nehru was starting to have flashbacks of her encounter with Zoron.
"Leggo your...Eggo?" Nehru parroted incredulously.
"Yes!" affirmed Flamebeast. "My Eggo! Mine!"
"Who said legos?" asked F-Zero as he perked his head up from behind Radeon's chair.
"Eggoe?" Jhay and Shaggay glanced at each other. A code?
"Jello! Where??" inquired Kelly frantically.
"Mello Yello? Mmm..." said the Clones as they too started glancing around like idiots.
"Shizzle for rizzle?" asked the Melovingian as he stood up from behind the chair as well.
"No!" Flamebeast stomped his foot. "My Eggo!"
"Beggin' strips?" asked Radeon.
"It's Bacon!!" F-Zero X exclaimed. He barked a couple seconds afterwards.
"Smells good..." said Jhay and Shaggay as they sniffed the air.
"No! Shut up! All of you!" Flamebeast demanded, nearly blowing a fuse. "It's a waffle! A waffle! Work on your super sensitive hearing, you dimwits!"
"Did it come with fried chicken, perhaps?" inquired the Melovingian.
"No! A WAFFLE!! It's just a waffle!" Flamebeast roared, panting like he had just finished a marathon.
"And...I stole your waffle?" asked Nehru in an attempt to clarify things.
"Yes you did! I can smell it on you!" Flamebeast looked to his precious stop sign and asked of it, "Tell me, Sign! Is she the one?"
....
....
Yet another tumble weed blew by.
Still no response from the stop sign.
"There you have it! Proof positive! Now give it back before I torch this entire place only because I can and you're in it..." Flamebeast growled ominously through a grin.
Nehru looked irked as she turned around and said to the others, "Huddle everyone. Huddle."
Jhay, Shaggay, Nehru, The Clones, F-Zero, Kelly, Radeon, The Fleur, and the Melovingian all gathered in a big huddle while Flamebeast tapped his feet impatiently and glanced at his watch.
"What're we gonna do?" asked X nervously.
"Calm down, calm down, I have a plan," announced the Melovingian.
Nehru looked hopefully. "You do?"
The Melovingian suddenly admitted, "I just lost it."
"Sir!!" Radeon reprimanded.
"Shut up! Shut up!" Kelly started. "How about we all go at him swinging? He can't take all of us!"
"Seems logical..." agreed Jhay as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"Seems efficient..." agreed Shaggay as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"Actually!" called Flamebeast to the group. "I can! I have way uber powers and I'm one of the most powerful magic users ever."
(You have become better at Ego! [147])
"Crap!" both of the Clones exclaimed at the same time.
"Now what?" asked Nehru-
!!!!
"Comin' through! Comin' through!"
And suddenly, a new person worked his way into the huddle-
"John Madden?? How-"
"Here's the plan!" started Madden. "You two go long! Really long! I want you two to block the big guy, you guys look like Hungry Man eaters and then I want the rest of you to charge up through the middle and BOOM!! Tough actin' Tinactin!"
....
"Come again? I'm afraid I didn't catch that pass, it was intercepted," said The Fleur, who burst out into a titter-fest once again and swatted at Nehru.
"Yeah..." said Nehru, glancing unsurely at The Fleur once swatted at again. "Could you repeat that? It...didn't make sense."
"Check out the play-by-play," said Madden as he opened up a notebook with a bunch of scribbles in it. "You gotta have a Battle of Egos with the offense for the Eggo!"
Nehru blinked. "Wait...what? You're saying we gotta have a Battle of Egos for the Eggo?"
"BOOM!!" Madden burst loudly in Nehru's face, chuckling a little. "Ok, who wants some Tinactin before I bust outta here?"
"Rock on! I'll take some!" offered F-Zero as he took off his shoes.
"Here you go!" said Madden as he took a jar of the stuff out of his jacket and poured some on F-Zero's feet.
What followed was a strange hissing noise and the smell of burning flesh.
Madden looked at the jar and jumped, "Whoops, that's battery acid. Tough break kid."
"AH!!" F-Zero immediately backed out of the huddle and fell to the floor, flopping around like a spasmatic seel out of water. "Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll! AH!!"
"Gotta jet!" said Madden as he ran out of the balcony area.
"What can we do now, sir?" started Radeon anxiously. "No one here has the Ego to beat the monster!"
"Don't be such a naysayer, Radeon, or I'll downgrade you to an Intel Graphics Controller," warned the Melovingian.
"Yipe! Sorry sir!" replied Radeon, severely scolded.
"Who here has the biggest Ego to combat the monster?" asked Nehru.
....
....
You guessed it, another tumble weed blew by.
Man, must be tumble weed season (Wabbit season!) (Shut up, Elmer)
Anyway, The Fleur simply purred and said, "I could slay anyone in a battle of wits, my dear friends."
(You have become better at Ego! [104])
"You'll have to do! You've got the highest skill level out of all of us!" said the Melovingian. "If only that monster was British though..."
"Ok! Break!" said Nehru as the huddle split up.
She turned around to face Flamebeast and said, "We decided-"
"Hold your tongue! I heard everything! And I accept this little one's challenge!" replied Flamebeast.
(You have become better at Ego! [148])
The Fleur moved gracefully forward and smirked. "Well, well, aren't you a cutie? Shall we dance...?"
Flamebeast looked supremely harassed. "I'M NOT GAY!!"
The Fleur looked supremely confused. "Whatever are you talking about?"
"I would never be seen dancing with another man!" exclaimed Flamebeast, cuddling Sign even more.
The Fleur snickered and swatted at Flamebeast, "You big silly, I'm a girl! Teehee."
Xxerth
The Bastard
Posts: 767
(12/17/04 5:56 pm)
Reply
< Nehru!, F-Zero X, Kelly
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Drill sergeant!" I loudly sound off.
Drill Sergeant Secil quickly turns on his heel and grinds a hard stare into the two skull sockets on my face and demands, "Why are you talkin'?"
"Drill sergeant, permission to write some more Nehru! posts, Drill sergeant!" I ask, sounding off of course.
Drill Sergeant Secil rubs his chin for a second, then says, "Permission granted private, that's some funny ass sh*t."
"Drill Sergeant, thank you, Drill Sergeant!" I say happily.
DS Secil turns a nasty look on me and says sternly, "Shut your hole, dick."
"Drill Sergeant, yes, Drill Sergeant!"
(Back from Basic, so here's more Nehru!)
Silence befell the room, and somewhere, out in the world, a parakeet with super keen hearing had a stroke upon hearing the news.
....
....
!!!!
"Wait! What??" Nehru exclaimed.
"Improbable!" burst Jhay.
"Unbelievable!" yelled Shaggay.
"No way!" exclaimed Kelly.
"Mind boggling!" added Radeon.
"Whoa!" said both of the Clones.
"Unbelievable!" yelled the Melovingian.
"Hey!" interjected Shaggay, "I already used that one! Get your own, copy cat!"
"Um..." Melovingian started. "Un...bewievable!"
Elmer Fudd suddenly stepped out onto the scene, tapping his foot and looking mighty upset, then stomped away mumbling, "This is an outwage!"
Anyway...
(incoming crude humor...3..2..1..)
"I think I just got some wood!!" exclaimed F-Zero X proudly.
(que funny record switching noise)
Everybody shut up right then and there.
The Fleur, of course, was the one to break the quiet, "Oh really, I'm not that good looking...well actually I am, teehee."
She winked at X after fluffing up her hair.
(You have gotten better at Ego! [113])
"There you go!" Nehru encouraged. "Keep it up, The Fleur, so I don't get mangled!"
The Fleur smirked and turned back to Flamebeast, still toying with a lock of hair. "Ready for more, or are we quite out of steam? Hmmhmmhmm."
(You have gotten better at Ego! [119])
"She's doing it!" gasped the Melovingian incredulously. "She's sticking it to him like I stick it to the British...!"
F-Zero X glanced over at him, sized him up cautiously, and took a step away while saying, "Dude...eww..."
Meanwhile, Flamebeast just stood there like a bump on the log, staring dreamily at The Fleur while love songs and rainbows and bunny rabbits and sounds of birds chirping ran through his head.
"Hey! I think he's in shock! Cool!" Kelly exclaimed as she bounced up and down pointed.
Then, much to Kelly's dismay, Flamebeast moved and swept over to The Fleur. The eight-foot tall werecoyote got down on one knee and grasped her hand gently - (Icky, sticky, gooey, ooey love stuff alert. Don anti-puking masks) - "Dost thou believeth in the spirit of true love shining forth upon eyes first meet? For surely, I am proof beyond all doubt. Let the faithless casteth their stones upon me for my love, but it shall shineth for you my beloved. Willeth thou take me as well?"
....
....
Kelly doubled over and fell into a fetal position, twitching sporadically and mumbling in horror, "Sappy...so sappy...ears burning..."
Nehru blinked. "Waitwaitwait...did I miss something here?"
The Fleur winked at Nehru and commented, "I think I missed the whole train, precious. Get it? The whole train?" She immediately went into another titter-fest from her own joke.
"Radeon!" The Melovingian barked.
"Sir!" She replied sharply.
"Get me a report on that! Quick!" He ordered-
"Report ready, sir!" Radeon replied.
The Melovingian blinked a few times and shook his head. "That...was fast! And it looked great too, Radeon!"
Radeon smirked and answered, "Well I am the best on the market after all. Anyway, my report sir. I think it's a 5150: Love at first sight, sir!"
"Unbewievable!" exclaimed Melovingian as Elmer Fudd was pressing charges against him for copyright infringement.
Nehru rolled her eyes. "Come on now, love at first sight? That's preposterous. Love is a bonding process that takes time to solidify into anything relatively tangible and significant. It doesn't just happen at the drop of a hat, that's only in Fantasy. Get real."
Flamebeast stalked over to Nehru and snarled, "Dost thou doubt my love!?!"
Nehru narrowed her eyes and retorted, "What about your precious Sign, hmm? And hey, I thought you were concerned with your waffle!"
"THAT'S IT!!" Flamebeast roared as he raised Sign like a weapon smash with-
!!!!
"Characters!" came a sudden, sharp voice. "Attention!!"
Everyone in the vicinity froze except for Flamebeast, who was still moving in preparation to smack Nehru on the head with his beloved stop sign-
"What are you doin'?" came a demanding voice. Then, out of nowhere, Drill Sergeant Secil strode onto the scene. "Why are you movin'!? You should be at the position of attention!"
Flamebeast glowered down at the DS and started with, "Who do you think you're talking to??"
"Shut your mouth before I choke you out! I'm goin' smoke you until your ears bleed! Let's go!" DS Secil managed to get Flamebeast into a strangle hold and dragged him out of the club.
"No!!! My Beloved!!!" The werecoyote called back to The Fleur as he was assisted out.
....
A couple seconds after all was said and done, The Melovingian said, "What in ze hell was that?"
Radeon scratched the back of her head and said, "I don't know...never seen anything like it."
Jhay and Shaggay looked at each other and answered with, "We don't know either."
Nehru simply shook her head and murmured to herself, "I can't tell if that was Mary Sueing or what. Stupid authors can't keep themselves out of their stories..." She turned on her heel and looked back at the Melovingian, "Ok...where were we before all of...that happened?"
The Melovingian pointed a finger into the air and said, "Ah yes! We were discussing why I brought all of you here and my proposition..."
"Alright," Nehru held up both of her hands, "can you please just tell us what we gotta do so we can go? Please? Pretty please? With sugar on top?"
"Well..." The Melovingian thought about it for a little bit. "Wait, first, you must know why I, The Melovingian Gibson, loathe the British so-"
"NO WE DON'T!!" Nehru, F-Zero, Kelly, Jhay, and Shaggay all yelled at once. The Fleur was too busy tittering and winking at the Clones, who were inching away and looking quite disturbed.
"Just tell us your proposition!" Nehru pressed.
"Alright...very well then," started The Melovingian. "This is my proposition..."
And just when you're about-
"Don't you dare!!" Nehru yelled at me.
-to find out what The Melovingian's proposition is...
"Noooo! Not like this! Not like this!" Nehru exclaimed.
(cliffhanger)
...(strikes again)
