Here we are!

[Rhindeer]

[Wheee, time jumpiness! Who knows how far into the future this is, but into the future we gooooo!!! Sorry if this post bites, Goldie! I sux0rz at beginning-type posties. O.O]

The morning sun beamed in cheerily through the cottage's many windows, brightening up the livingroom and casting away any remaining early morning shadows. It was a time when Aniketos was usually up and busy, always a naturally early riser, but...instead of enjoying the day, he found himself passed out in a chair. Well, not really passed out; he was doing his darnedest to stay awake, and doing his darnedest to charge himself up enough to tend to all those things that...needed tending to. Erk. Right now, he couldn't even think of what those things were. All he could do was stare ahead at the wall across the room, blinking his bloodshot eyes as he tried to stay awake.

Which wasn't really a problem...once he was awake, he couldn't easily fall back asleep.

Oh man...

He loved his children to death, but Gods...he just wished...just once...that they would sleep through one night. Just one...it was tough enough with the constant buzz of emotions in the back of his head...

He yawned. And of course he was still worried about Rayne's health, and insisted she get a full night's rest...which thus meant he'd appointed himself as the baby-checker, so whenever one cried in the middle of the night, it was he that warmed the bottle or changed the diaper--which was far from his favorite task, but he figured if he did that at night, it balanced out if Rayne did that in the day. There were a few nights--okay, more than a few--though, where he had cracked and bugged Rayne to do it instead. He couldn't help it. He'd felt bad for a few minutes...but then he'd just buried himself back beneath the covers and fallen back asleep.

Now, after another night of up-and-down rest, he felt...really out of it.

But, hey...it was worth it. What was a little sleep deprivation at the cost of having such beautiful, miraculous children? A trivial thing, that was for sure. And once he woke up...well, given a few minutes to recuperate and come to his senses, he could feel quite alive.

But for now, he felt very dead.

"Mornin', love," he greeted groggily after a few moments, when he was certain his words would come out in organized sentences and not jumbled jargon, and when his bleary eyes had adjusted enough to let him take in the figure of his beloved knitting, the children sleeping soundly in a basinette beside her. Of course...they would sleep now. He couldn't help but grin weakly yet wryly. They probably did that on purpose...and afterall, they couldn't walk or talk yet, so, they probably had to get their kicks somehow. That had to be it. "Sound asleep, huh?"

[Goldie]

I irked her a little bit, that Aniketos still insisted that her condition was still in the gray areas....but of course she could complain until her face turned blue and it wouldn't have made any difference in the world.  He was always stubborn when it came to her health, and the health of anyone but himself it seemed.  He could have been on his death bed and the last words out of his mouth would be "Rayne...don't do that...you could hurt yourself".

"Mornin'..." she smiled, stiffling a yawn behind her hand.  Eventhough he insisted on taking the kids most of the times they cried at night, she couldn't get back to sleep until she was sure that they were ok....not that she didn't trust Ani!  Quite the opposite...but living with the two children's emotions racing through your head made sleeping a little bit harder than normal.  So naturally, she stayed awake until they were finally quieted and the strain of having to sleep only 3-6 hours every night was beginning to wear on her as well.

Looking back down at her knitting, she sighed and pulled out the last row she had just completed, realizing too late that she had missed a stitch and now a hole was beginning to form.  Of course, it wouldn't be that noticeable...until they tried to wash it....and then the imperfection would be clear.  And it wouldn't be good if she began making mistakes now.  She had promised herself that she would open the shop at the front of the house again...once the children were older.  Margery had taught her all the little tricks of the trade and even given her a few magic words that made the tools work by themselves.  She had enchanted them before the olderly couple had left.

"So it seems..." she added to his other question, feeling the same exasperation that he was.  They had such odd sleeping patterns.  They would sleep for a few hours in the morning...a few hours in the afternoon...and never at night.  And when they did sleep, it was in hour spurts and then, boom, they'd be up again.

Then there was the one fact that it seemed that they too had some sort of connection....because the moment one began to wail, the other let loose and the entire house was filled with screaming, whether because they were hungry, needed to be changed, or what.  Rayne was lucky that only half the time they woke at night were they hungry.  If she had to feed them...it could take a good hour or two before they would both be satisfied and she would be able to slip back under the covers....and it would only be a matter of minutes it seemed before the wailing would start again.

She could have sworn that one time Zawayn had started crying out of annoyance.  What he was annoyed with she never figured out....but it was strange, and it reminded her that they were growing up...slowly beginning to create their own emotions and not merely being hungry, wet, or bored.

Beginning the stitch line she had just taken out again, she blinked as one of the babe's emotions flared.  Without hesitating, she nearly threw her work on the armrest of the chair and raced over to the basinette, reaching it just in time to scoop up a wailing Eolynne and pulling her away before her brother would wake up from the screams.

"Shhh...shhh..." she muttered exhaustedly, "It's ok, baby.....it's ok...."  rocking back and forth Rayne tried desperately to soften her daughters screams.  She wasn't hungry, she wasn't wet....it seemed she was just craving attention.  "Shhh...shhh..." she murmured again, "Don't cry, love, mommy's here...I'm here...shhh...."  The crying was giving her a headache, but she was silently thankful that both hadn't woken and she only had to deal with one, for now.

[Rhindeer]

Aniketos couldn't help the soft groan that escape his lips involunarily as Eolynne began to bawl, and he sank deeper into his chair and covered his eyes with a hand. He wasn't going to get her. It was Rayne's turn. It was morning, now...

He didn't have to do anything--or not do anything--though, for Rayne was up and had Eolynne cradled in her arms the moment she began to wail, and he watched blearily as she tried to soothe their daughter, watched as she checked her for signs of hunger or discomfort. And he could tell from Rayne's body language that there was no explanation for this outburst...yet she just kept crying. A headache was beginning to blossom behind his eyes, a throbbing, constant ache, one from lack of sleep, and he took a deep breath and closed his eyes as his fingers worked to massage it away and he tried not to think about that piercing shriek. But without much success. The crying was just going and going...it just never stopped, it seemed. One moment of peace...he had been hoping for just one moment of rest...just one. Why couldn't they cry when they were actually awake? Why wait until they were drifting, or sleeping, or...!

One wail was particularly loud then, and with an abruptness that half startled himself, he heaved himself to his feet then, without even saying a word, stalked stiffly toward the door, opened it, and stalked on outside, not even bothering to shut the door on his own. He just let it hang on its hinges, swinging slowly and bouncing lightly off the door frame, but not closing.

He didn't even know where he was going or what he was doing, and he hardly even noticed the changing scenery, hardly even felt the coolness of breeze and moisture in the air. Eventually, though, he found himself at the lake's edge, the very place he had proposed to Rayne, and he dropped down onto the damp grass and drew his knees up to his chest, resting his chin along his knees, eyes closing. It was quiet out here...quiet and secluded, blessedly quiet, with only birdsong and the rustling of leaves in the quiet breeze. Gods, but he couldn't stand it anymore, the constant screaming, wailing...the constant headaches, each worse than the next...always being awake...the buzz in his head...the kids would never, never just shut up--

Aniketos gave a start then, his body actually convulsing as he gave himself a shake.

The kids would just never shut up...?

What...?

A cold chill ran through him slowly, gradually freesing the blood in his veins, a cold that had nothing to do with the morning dew dampening his clothing. Blinking slowly in the morning light, he rubbed a hand along his eyes. Had...had he honestly just thought that? And...what the hell was he doing out here...?

Oh...yeah...quiet...but...but what was he thinking? And doing? And...

He was just tired...he just couldn't concentrate right now...he wasn't used to getting so little sleep...it was playing havoc on his body...

He drew a deep breath, and closed his eyes again, tried to clear his head. The headache was gone...but he was still so tired...Gods, though...what was he doing?

Despite himself, he began to shiver lightly, but he didn't really know why. He just knew he didn't want to go back inside...not yet. But he didn't know why...

[Goldie]

She didn't notice right away the sudden change in emotions that Aniketos portrayed and before she could turn, he had stormed from the house, the door creaking softly as it swung back and forth on its hinges.

"Ani?" she said, turning around only to see his figure receiding in the distance.  It startled her...to see him just storm out like that...and the annoyance she felt eminating from him.  And it scared her.  She had never felt something like this coming from him, and had never even felt the slightest pang of displeasure for the long time she had known him.  Had something happened that she didn't know about?  Had she done something that angered him and just fluttered by completely unawares?

Why hadn't he said anything!?  She change anything she was doing if he was unhappy!

A tug at her throat brought her back to herself and she looked down at Eoylnne who was now pleasantly chewing on the silver chain Aniketos had given to Rayne as an engagement gift.  The babe looked so content, holding that strange shiney substance in her pudgy fist and slobbering all over herself.

Rayne smiled down at her daughter, breathing a sigh of relief that she had stopped wailing and calmed down.  And it was certainly a blessing that Zawayn hadn't woken....if he started crying....that would be a mess.  She loved her children with her entire heart and soul, but no amount of love could make it easy to soothe two children at the same time.

As if on cue, the emotions, that were Zawayn's, flared and the boys cries echoed through the living room.  Without hesitation, Rayne hurried back to the basinette and traded her daughter for her son, but the moment Eolynne lost the warmth of her mother's body she let up a wail of disappointment.  The two children seemed to have a chorus that reverberated through the house and she could swear that the entire street could hear their voices.

"Oh...oh..no...no...shhh...shhhhhh...." she cooed in desperation, rocking Zawayn in her arms and gently rocking the cradle.  They both seemed to only wail louder, each desperate to have the same amount of love as the other at the same time.  And of course...Rayne loved them both equally...but that didn't matter in a time like this!  She couldn't hold them both!  Not without the risk of dropping one!

"Eolynne....Eolynne, baby...it's ok.....shush....shhhhh.....I'm here, I'm still here...." but it was no use.  The baby girl wanted to be held, and nothing but that would stop her wailing.  But Zawayn wasn't about to let him mommy let go of him.

Rayne was overwhelmed.  The exhaustion along with the blossoming headache behind her eyes and the desperation she felt to calm her wailing children was enough to make her choke on tears that threatened to spring into her eyes.

Getting a sudden idea, she laid Zawayn back in the basinette with his sister and pulled out a knitted blanket.  Laying it on the ground, she grabbed a few of the soft toys Ani and she had gotten for the babes and then returned to the cradle.  Picking them both up one at a time, she laid them down on the blanket.  Their wails persisted.  Without a second thought, she sat beside them, resting her aching back on the chair leg and gently lifting each child until they rested peacefully in her arms.

It took a few more minutes of persistant cooes and sighs until they finally quieted, but still insisted on being held.  Rayne's arms ached, adding to the increasing discomfort of her lower back, but she couldn't do anything.  If she put them down to stretch, the screams would begin again.  It was almost like the children and she had come to a standstill.  Now she just had to wait until they gave up and just wanted to lie down without a loving caress.

[Rhindeer]

He didn't know how long he stayed outside, staring absently out at the lake, watching the sunlight play golden upon the moving water--a faceted gold, like topaz. It was chilly this early, but he didn't have it in him to go back just yet as what had just happened--how he had just acted--played out again and again in his mind. He might as well have just verbally snapped at Rayne or the children for the way he'd acted...he never got angry...it took a lot to anger him, and when he did get annoyed, he couldn't recall a time it had ever been directed at Rayne, and especially not at his children. Sure, he and Rayne had their little moments like any couple did, but it was never serious.

Never real anger...

And his own outburst, his own emotions...it scared him. He'd really been mad...and...it wasn't anything to be angry about...he hadn't been angry about it before, and it wasn't like it was anyone's fault. They were his children, and he loved them with all his heart and soul, as he loved Rayne. This wasn't their fault...they were just babies, and crying was their way of getting attention. He knew that. Rayne and he couldn't do anything about that. Heck, it was good they were crying--that was normal and healthy! He knew that.

Why had it bothered him so damn much? It didn't bother him now. He thought it was stupid...and...agh...he was just confused. He'd been tired in the weeks past, but he'd never been angry...he always thought it trivial to be mad about small things. He just been tired, and that had been it. Tired, but nonetheless enjoying every moment as a father, every new discovery. Gods, even when they cooed or burped it was fascinating and adorable. And Rayne...he'd come so close to losing her...Gods, but if anything, the closest to annoyed he'd ever gotten was when he was insisting she take it easy and she was insisting she was fine.

It was like it wasn't even him...that hadn't been like him at all...

But, then...he'd never really been so sleep deprived before, either. This whole thing, being a father...it was really new and demanding, and in a lot of ways, stressful. Not just because of the lack of sleep. But because...well...he just wanted to do everything right. For them and for he and Rayne. He'd been thinking about opening up a place, a small little clinic. Rayne was going to keep running Margery's shop, and he figured that now that they were stable, he could do that...he didn't really like the idea of charging, but they had to make an income somehow, too--though he knew he would never, ever be the type that would refuse service just because someone could not pay; he'd never believed in that, for it went against everything he believed in as a doctor. He figured he could just work off donations, and help Rayne in the shop where he could. That fit better within his own moral framework.

So...maybe it was just stress...

But he'd been stressed lots of times before and never snapped...

And now he just felt horrible.

He could feel Rayne's emotions in the back of his head, a confused, guilty...and scared jumble, and an instant pang of pain struck him in the gut. Damn...she probably thought he was mad at her...that she'd done something wrong...but she hadn't! She hadn't done anything! Neither she or the children were at fault, he was just...he didn't know.

Deep down inside him, along with that pang of pain, one of fear ran right alongside it. A familiar fear, one that was always with him--but one he always tried to repress, sometimes succeeding for small spans of time. But it was always there. Always.

Yet, as usual, he forced it away as soon as it reared its head.

It was better not to think about that.

No, right now...he should go back. Rayne shouldn't have to fuss over the children alone, shouldn't be exerting herself too much, and...

And he had to apologize...

With a deep breath, he rose to his feet and brushed the grass off his breeches, then he made his way back toward the home with the light glimmering off the lack leaving sunspots in his vision. Gods, he hoped he didn't upset her.

The door was still ajar as he'd left it, and he winced at the sight, then opened it slowly and stepped inside quietly. It was quiet inside, amazingly...and the first thing he saw was Rayne on the ground, the two babes nestled up against her happily.

The sight made him feel all the more guilty. How the hell could he have been angry...?

He shifted slightly in the doorway, then shut the door quietly behind him. "Rayne...I...I'm sorry..." he said softly, and from his tone of voice, it was obvious he was just as confused as he was shamefaced.

[Goldie]

She didn't know how long she sat there, holding the two children close to her chest, helping Zawayn sit up when he reached up to grab a piece of her hair.  Which wasn't that hard to do right now.  She hadn't cut her hair in a while...for over a year, and it now fell to the middle of her back and at the moment was only pulled halfway up allowing the long strands the perfect reaching distance for the short arms of a babe.

Part of her wished that they would let her just lie them down on the blanket, and that they could play with their toys and just...be content with themselves.  Not that she didn't like holding them...it was just so exhausting...watching them nearly 24 hours in a day....

While Zawayn tugged gently on his mom's hair, Eolynne found herself contented to suck on her own fingers, staring around the room with bright blue eyes.  They were both so intelligent...eyes bright and filled with the wonders of life.  Every day it seemed that they learned something new, whether it was a new sound, a new movement...and even a new and more interesting way to cry.  Sometimes there would be flailing limbs, sometimes just soft whimpering...and although it was getting to the point where they should be sleeping through the night...they weren't.  Rayne had heard that when they were this old, the parents should ignore them when they're crying at night....but....she found that increasingly difficult.  It pulled at her heart to hear them cry, and she didn't want to leave them alone....

And well....Aniketos hadn't said anything on the matter yet, and he was the doctor after all....so maybe she had just misheard....

Hearing the door opened, Rayne looked up from her silent gaze at the two children towards the door and Aniketos who looked guilty...but mixed with the guilt she could sense confusion, which only made her curious and confused herself.

"That's all right, love" she replied with a small, exhausted smile and she caught Eolynne when the babe attempted to roll out of her arms, "We're both tired...."  Hoping that the squirming coming from her daughter was a plea to be on her own, Rayne gently rested her in the middle of the blanket, placing one of the soft dolls beside her.  She breathed a sigh of relief when the Eolynne didn't cry, but grabbed the toy, cooing softly to herself while slobbering all over the fabric.

"It seems like years since we've had a good nights sleep...." she added, stiffling a yawn that came along at the perfect moment to emphasize her words.  "I...I just hope that they'll start sleeping....do you think it's wrong to have them in the same bed?" she asked, suddenly worried that they were doing something wrong, "What if they're keeping each other from sleeping?  I mean....one cries and the other, only seconds later...."

[Rhindeer]

Aniketos could feel the confusion and curiosity tugging at the connection he and Rayne shared, and it made him feel even more uncomfortable as he stood there sheepishly. Of course she could feel his own muddled emotions, and if he was confusing himself, what must she feel? Still, he could feel the exhaustion there, though it was harder to notice...it seemed to blend and mingle with his own fatigue, becoming his own.

Still, relief coursed through him as Rayne forgave him, but...the guilt was still there. He'd never acted like that toward Rayne, and...it disgusted him. Exhaustion wasn't an excuse...but...she was right. They were both tired and had hardly gotten any sleep for who knew how long. That could play on one's nerves and moods, certainly. He just never thought he would succumb to that. He hoped he could have been stronger...the idea of even inadvertantly hurting his loved ones with his behavior...he didn't like it, sleep or no sleep.

It frightened him, too...

There were reasons, aside from the love of good ol' altruism, that he lived the way he did. Yet, even if not for those reasons, he wouldn't have been any other way had he the choice. He was the way he was because he had to be...and because he wanted to be...

"I know, I jus'...I dunno...never mind," he finished lamely, and slowly walked inside. She'd forgiven him. He wouldn't do it again. No use in holding onto it, he just had to let it go and let the past handle it. Worrying about it wouldn't fix it, and Rayne had already put it behind her, it seemed. It was okay...and...well...he was just as prone to mistakes as anyone, right?

Stretching out on the floor across from Rayne, with the children between them, he watched Eolynne play happily with her doll and couldn't help but smile at her contented coos. Watching her, he and Rayne's little perfect creation, it was impossible to stay, well, freaked out. Their children certainly had no worries or cares; they were far too young and innocent to. Adults could learn something from them, that was for certain. Children didn't hold grudges or worries.

He lifted a corner of the blanket to dab gently at her chin before it could dribble onto her clothes, shaking his head with a small, tired grin. "Yeah...they haven't yet learn that sleep's really actually nice..." he agreed, Rayne's yawn coaxing out one of his own. He shifted a little so he could flop down over onto his stomach, chin propped in his hands. He tossed his head a little to shake the hair out of his eyes; it had been a while since he'd last cut his hair, and it had grown out a lot in the recent months, red-gold replacing he brown he'd once masked it with. It tickled his neck, and he scratched the back of his neck as Rayne voiced her concerns.

And...she was right.

He hadn't really wanted to bring it up himself...he'd known what they should probably do and what he'd always been taught, but...these were their children, and it just felt...kind of cruel. Whenever one cried, his first instinct was to soothe them, no matter how exhausted he was or how much he wished they would just sleep for once. But they needed sleep, too, and if this lack of sleep was going to be affecting their lives so drastically...well...it was practical...and they were of the age where they should be learning to sleep through the night...

"They won't like it..." he said, watching Eolynne. "They shared th' womb, shared ev'rythin', always together...they won't like bein' apart one bit, I'll bet. But...it'll prob'ly get them both some sleep. Kinda funny...once they grow up, they'll prob'ly be tryin' t' be as diff'rent from one another as they can be," he told Rayne, remembering his own experiences. There was pride there in being a twin, and a bond there that went deep. While he and Nakaris had been as different as night and day and even gotten in their tiffs now and then, the bond shared could not be severed.

Gods, but that bond was even illustrated by J'aari, even if in a mocking way. If one died, so did the other...if one fell, so did the other. Always connected. Always bonded...no matter the differences...

He winced a little and continued on quickly. "I think maybe we should also start...ah...lettin' them sleep through th' night..." he added, and guilt flashed through him. Gyah...it was only what any other doctor would say...so why did he suddenly feel like a big bully? Why did it sound so much like "ignore your children! Neglect!" in his head?

Ugh...

[Goldie]

Taking a risk, Rayne gently lowered Zawayn down next to his sister, holding her breath as her hands left his tiny frame.  For a few seconds her son's bottom lip quivered as his brown eyes gazed up at his mom.  Rayne could feel his need for attention through the link that connected her to her babes and to Aniketos, and silently begged him to be content...to find anything...anything at all that would quiet him before he started to wail...!

For a few heart stopping moments, she was sure that her was going to scream, but he surprised her.  His little hands had stretched just far enough to brush his sister's side, and immediately he calmed.  It was almost as if he was afraid of being parted from everyone and everything...and by finding his sister beside him, he was suddenly content to curl up his feel, gurgling softly as a light hiccup of a laugh was tickled from his lips.

With a sigh, Rayne took Aniketos' example and laid down on the blanket.  Although her back rested against the hard wood floors, nothing could have been more comfortable to her that just spreading out, her head falling next to Ani's, allowing her to gaze at him through her lashes.

Reaching up, she found her fingers gently playing with his hair, vaguely aware that it had grown just as much as hers, and loving the gently red color that sparkled in the sunlight that filtered through the window.  They had been so occupied with the children, that it seemed she hadn't taken a chance in ages to just gaze at him...to see in him everything she loved, including her children.  

"It has been a long few weeks." she murmured drowsily, twisting a few more strands of his hair between her fingers in a loving caress, "I don't think I have told you nearly as much as I should....that I love you."  she didn't know why she was saying this now....minus the fact that it seemed like the only time in a forever that the children were awake and content to just be with each other.

Thinking silently to herself for a few moments she added, "Sleep tonight.  If they wake, I'll tend to them.  These days have been hard one both of us, but I hate to see you so stressed and tired....maybe if they stay this happy, I'll be able to make some proper food for the both of us." she chuckled softly with herself, "Heaven knows some good food could work wonders...."  how often did she find herself too tired to even eat?  And if Aniketos' forced her to eat something, it had always been cold...a piece of fruit, glass of water, a slice of bread...nothing that really helped keep her energy up.

Hmmm....perhaps if there was time, she could put together some candied cherries.....they were simple enough, and would give both of them something sweet to keep their spirits high....

ooc:  hahaha....note the incredible randomness of it all!  hahahaha....one of them should fall down the stairs....gyaaaah....we're too good with making everything happy for them!  What can we do to help him explode again!?!?!

[Rhindeer]

[random is Good! But now we have direction! BWAHAHAHAH!!! *coughs*]

Rayne wasn't the only one to hold their breath as Zawayn was lowered to the ground, for Aniketos watched it all with a strange, tight feeling of trepidation, fearing the moment would soon be broken and the crying would begin anew. He could feel a wince working its way through him as Zawayn's face puckered in that oh-so-familiar way, which he had to admit was adorable--when he wasn't exhausted--and heart-wrenching even when he was wound as tightly as he was right now; no parent liked to see their child in distress. Still, he also couldn't help but feel dread...he wasn't sure how much more his head could take...and he hated feeling the way he did right now...

He still couldn't believe how he'd acted.

He was preparing himself for the inevitable shrieks, feeling this moment was just the calm before the storm, ready for that domino effect that would take place when Eolynne joined in the chorus...but instead he contented himself with his sister and gurgled contentedly, and Aniketos could feel the air rush past his lips as he breathed in relief and relaxed. It felt more like he collapsed, letting his elbows give out so he could rest his head on his arms.

Rayne looked just as utterly relieved as she stretched out beside him, and he watched her face sleepily. The floor was hard, but he felt more comfortable there than he had in their bed for the past few weeks, and his eyelids were drooping. He could have probably fallen asleep there if circumstances would have allowed it.

Yet after Rayne's heartening words...tired or not, he wasn't sure he wanted to right then, even if he could have.

She was right. They had been so busy, moving from one moment to the next like zombies and spending every moment of free time trying to catch up on sleep, that they really hadn't spent much time together. Not any real time. They were together all the time, but there just really wasn't time to do much talking, much less any cuddling or...anything else. Of course, he'd expected that, because his mother had sure loved to tell baby stories, which he had found funny and which Nakaris had downright hated--apparently, he'd been the one that cried all the time--but it still didn't mean he missed it. Even after only a few weeks. The beginning was the tough part...that's what everyone always said. Especially for new parents who hardly knew what they were doing half the time.

He just hoped they were doing everything right.

"I'm guilty o' that, too..." he admitted sadly, brushing his fingers lightly against her temple. "But I love y' jus' as much as th' day I married ya...nothin' can change that. Ever." And after all, all this craziness wouldn't last forever. The children would learn to sleep through the night and they would grow more comfortable with parenting. The beginning was always crazy. The first time doing anything was always a challenge. But once you got over the first few bumps, it became a breeze.

In the future, he'd probably miss these moments...when Eolynne and Zawayn were all grown up...miss them, and probably harass them when they were older with the stories. Especially around any love interests.

That seemed an obligation of parents.

He was about ready to reply to Rayne's last statement--ack! tired as he was, Rayne needed the sleep more than he!--when a knock sounded on the door, making him cringe and look immediately at Zawayn and Eolynne. Oh Gods...if they started crying...whoever was at that door was so--

...So what?

Sighing, Aniketos glanced at Rayne and slowly raised up off the ground to walk blearily to answer the door. Ugh...no one ever came here...why now?

[Goldie]

The knock on the door made Rayne jump, supressing a small scream of surprise.  Breathing quickly, she sat up as Aniketos walked towards the door, checking to make sure that the babes were still content with whatever they were using to occupy themselves.  Thankful that they were still content, she reached down and tickled their stomaches and smiling brightly and pleased to find them both smiling back, their feet curling up to their chests as a soft giggle escaped their lips.

Looking over her shoulder, she made sure that Aniketos was indeed getting the door.  She was also quite curious as to who would be calling upon their home.  The shop had been closed for some time now so no one should be coming for that...and how often had someone made a house call?

Her stomach twisted into knots as a sudden thought raced across her mind.  What if it was someone they both didn't want to see?  Or at least for now....they hadn't seen or heard from Nakaris for a while...but....he had been badly injured recently....could he have scoped them out?....come back?  And what of the children?  What would he do...and say...when he saw his nefew and neice on the floor?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The salesman waited patiently at the door, looking over the small slip of paper he held in his hand that held the address of the house he now stood before.

He had been told by the towns people that a family lived here and that they had just recently had two small additions to their numbers.  Them, of all people, could benefit from the items he wanted to sell.  After all, it was not healthy to little ones if rodents were roaming around the house, and he wanted to make sure they were safe.  And that he made a profit....

But he didn't think about that much....nope....only worried about the well-being of the families he visited.

When the door opened, he flashed one of his most handsome smilies that he found always won over the women of the house, and sometimes impressed the men slightly enough that they would listen to him.  He just hoped that more women came to the door then men.  But...that wasn't so hard to find when the husbands were working and the wives tending to the house.

He masked his disappointment to see that a young man opened the door, but he gazed past his customer with a flicker of his eyes to see a young woman and two babes behind him.  He should talk loud enough that the misses could hear him just as well as her man.

"Why hello, good man!" he began, shifting the large tote bag in his right hand "My name is Aranold duBegarh and I have been walking around this small village looking for those who are interesting in keeping their homes safe and clean!"  He flashed the smile again, "As I can see, you have a beautiful family and I can't help but think that you would benefit a great deal from my offer.  These houses in this area of town have been around for years, and for all their stability, there are things that can break in through the smallest crack, invading your home and spreading sickness to the inhabitants!  I'm sure you've seen these rodents roaming around, and I can imagine how terrifying that must be for your wife and children!"  Reaching into his bag, he pulled out an interesting looking device.  It was circular and a small piece of blue wire was coiled in the center and swayed gently as if a breeze were blowing.  The whole contraption hummed softly, and the aura of magic surrounding it was strong.

"This, my friend, will solve all of your problems!  This wire is magically enhanced to ensnare all of those tiny unwanted creatures that roam the house at night and when you're not looking.  Now, before you say anything, I know that you're probably wondering just how this small wire can do anything to mice, rats, and the like.  As it so happens, the coil sends out a signal that draws all rodents to it and then sends out another magical wave that shocks them with enough force that they die within seconds!  All that you have to do is take the horrible monsters outside and your problem is solved!  But don't take my word for it!" he reached in to his bag again, and pulled out a small cage of white mice.  From the cage, the animals were trying to break through the bars with their teeth, clawing over one another to get to the mouse trap that was obviously sending out the summoning signal at that very moment.

Giving the cage a forceful shake, the mice fell away, stunned, and he reached in quickly to grab one.  Setting the mouse trap on the group and releasing the mouse.  Almost immediately, the smalle rodent raced towards the coiled spring, and the moment its tiny paw rested on the circular platform, the wire uncoiled into a perfectly straight staff and flashed red.  With a small squeel, the mouse shook and then was still, plainly dead.

"There you have it!  These contraptions are fool proof and --"

He broke off and tilted his head gently as he noticed Rayne had made her way to the door, eyes wide with shock as she stared down at the dead mouse.  He misinterpreted her expression, "Yes, madam!  It truly is amazing!  You will never find a contraption of this excellence again!  I am offering three of these amazing mouse traps for the price of one!  Only five gold coins and 17 silver and they are yours!"

Rayne's hand shook as she stared at the mouse.....she had never seen someone kill so easily...even something so small as the mouse...and it disturbed her beyond belief.

[Rhindeer]

Aniketos was far too drained to think that, maybe, just maybe, answering the door wasn't a good idea. The paranoid thought that, maybe, his brother had tracked him down and located the house never even entered his mind. Then again, he had no reason to fear that; the feelings he got through the link were emotions of bitterness, or depression, or at times fear or flaring hatred, and the physical sensations were ones of soreness and fatigue. At one point, it had even felt like his body was being clawed, rubbed raw by something grainy, but that had gradually faded. Still, the aches and pains from his brother, and the whirl of conflicted emotions, had indeed had something to do with Aniketos' insomnia; it hadn't all been from the children, though that hadn't helped all too much, either.

The man on the other side of the door, however, wasn't much better for his mood. The man hadn't done so much as flash his sugary, fake smile before Aniketos could feel the annoyance creeping through his mind. Ugh...yeah...the lack of sleep was not doing good things for him. Usually he had a lot more patience. He probably had a lot more patience than he should, really, but it had always come in handy with his line of work. But now, these past few days? Patience? Oh no. He had close to none.

And right now, he had none. The only thing that stopped him from closing that door right on this solicitor's face was the memory of his earlier behavior, which was still kind of unsettling to him. That...and slamming the door in his face would, close as he was, probably flatten the man's nose. Nooo...violence is bad. Yeah...

But right then it was damned tempting. And Aniketos was too tired and out of it to realize what a dangerous road his current thought process was treading, nor did he realize how, well...unlike him it was to think that way. It just felt natural. Normal. And he could feel himself growing gradually more agravated.

Aniketos didn't respond to the man's greeting, but even if he'd tried, he doubted he would have been able to get a word in, the man was talking so fast and his own mind was far too sleepy and hazy to work quickly enough to interject. Finally, though, the man got to the bloody point. What? Mice and rats? They didn't have rodents in their house that he knew of, and he certainly didn't find them "terrifying". And Rayne? Terrified of a mouse? That was a riot. Sure it wouldn't be healthy for the children, but that was why they kept the place clean. This guy was acting like they liked in a stye.

Just when Aniketos thought he'd found an opportunity to claim that they weren't interested, the man whipped out some odd contraption and his mouth just kept on running. Aniketos blinked, a tired thread of curiosity working through him. What was that...? And what did it have to do with anything this guy had been talking about? Maybe he'd dozed off for a second and missed something.

He certainly didn't miss the part about the man claiming this trap killed mice...

Nor did he miss the part where the man pulled out a small cage willed with mice.

No...he wasn't going to...

But Aniketos couldn't do anything. Something inside him told him he should. He should stop it. This wasn't right, and even though he hadn't seen what this contraption could do, the man had described it well enough and he could only imagine what was coming. The man set the trap and the small test mouse on the ground. And Aniketos just watched, as if entranced, as the mouse ran toward the trap, anticipation coursing through him. He should have felt horrified. He should have stopped it. He should have been disgusted at his own thoughts. But he wasn't. He just watched.

And a second later, the mouse had fallen dead.

Aniketos was silent for a long moment, staring at the motionless rodent body as the man continued on. And then he gave an abrupt little jolt, blinking, and tore his eyes away from the mouse and onto the salesman. Whatever daze he'd fallen into as he watched that little life get snuffed out of existence had completely lifted, just as unexplainably as it had come, and horror and anger just as quickly replaced morbid fascination. Eyes narrowing, he straightened.

"Get out," he said suddenly, his voice low, a warning tone. And without waiting for the main to reply, he stepped forward forcefully and, pressing a hand to his chest, shoved him roughly backwards. "Now. Get th' fuck out o' here!"

[Goldie]

Everything seemed to move foreward in slow motion to Rayne's staggared mind.  Her heart was racing as she watched the small innocent life end to suddenly that she didn't even notice the flaring emotions she was receiving from Aniketos until it was too late.

Looking up from her trance she watched, completely horrified, as the anger inched its way into her mind, confusing her until she slowly realized exactly where it was coming from.  Her eyes widened even more as she saw Aniketos take a step forward and she tried to intercept him as she realized what he was going to do.

Her movements felt slow and muddy and she had barely taken a step before the man was pushed over the steps that led up to their front door and landed in a sprawled heap at the bottom.  The cage of mice exploded by his head and the tiny creatures scattered into the street, clearly glad to be freed.  But Rayne's mind was far from the freedom of mice.

A scream of horror tore through her lips as she pushed Aniketos aside and hurried down the stairs to see if the man was all right.  She had barely reached the bottom when he started to rise and she kneeled and offered her arm to help him stand muttering frantic appologizes through her tears.  The salesman dusted himself off and looked at her with eyes full of pity before walking down the street without another word.

His look froze Rayne in her tracks.  It was a look that apologized for her having to live with such a violent man...a look that said he would help if she needed it...a look that said she should be strong for herself and her children and escape from this madman...

With a violent hiccough, she felt her throat tighten as the reality struck her.  Aniketos had just...he could have severely injured that man...and his last words chilled her bones.  That was not the Aniketos she loved...that was not him...that was...it was just stress...just stress....but....no...even stress was not an excuse for what he had just done.

Turning she looked up at him standing in the doorway, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to find the breath to speak.

'W...what have you done?" she whispered, amazed that she could make any sound at all.  Climbing the steps she reached out and gripped his arms, "What's happening to you?  Why..." with another disparing sob she shook his arms, "Why?" she screamed after a few seconds pause, "Who are you?"

[Rhindeer]

Aniketos could only stare impassively and apathetically as the man fell, the cage bursting open and all the little white mice racing to freedom. He didn't even twitch when Rayne screamed and pushed him aside, rushing forward to help the man, didn't even flinch at the look the man fixed Rayne with as he dusted himself off and left. He didn't even notice, or perhaps he just didn't care, about the tears that were running down Rayne's cheeks. All he did was watch with the same sort of bored interest that someone listening to a lecture might feel, all the rage and anger simply...gone. Everything was gone.

Empty.

It was weird. One moment he'd been so pissed, and the next, once he'd actually pushed the man, everything just seemed to happen in a completely surreal, slow-motion sort of way. Like it wasn't really real. It was fascinating, really, in an odd sort of way...Aniketos only snapped out of it when Rayne climbed back up the steps and grasped his arms, shaking them. He jolted in surprise, his brown eyes widening in alarm and he actually reached up to grab at her arms reflexively, tensing. "What?" Rayne...? She was sobbing, shaking his arms, demanding to know what was happening to him, what he'd done...

Aniketos shook his head, brow knitting in utter confusion and he just stared</i< at her. What...what had he done? What...? What was going on?! Hell...where was the salesman? Suddenly, a pang of real fear instead of simply confusion struck him. There was a gap in his memory. He could remember the salesman, remember him showing them a trap...and then Rayne was here, crying...Gods...what had happened?

He couldn't remember what had happened in between those two events. What had he done? What had he done?!

Aniketos could only shake his head, feeling the anxiety building within him. Oh Gods...what...what happened...? He'd...he'd done something? "Rayne, what--?" But before he could ask the question of what had happened, she said it. Screamed it.

Who are you?

The words froze in his mouth, and his stomach twisted, like he felt he was going to be sick, face paling.

Oh Gods...no...

If her other words weren't a slap in the face, those were. It was already obvious that he'd done something. But to hear those words, said like that...it made the reality of everything suddenly sink in, and sink in deep. He knew what it was...he knew what was happening. He didn't know what had happened, but...no. He didn't even want to know.

"I..." He didn't even try to finish what he was about to start. Instead, he quickly wrenched free of her grasp and slipped past her, bounding down the stairs, away from her.

[Sorry for the crap! My Ani muse was dead. -_-;;]

[Goldie]

She winced as his arms immediately came up to grab her own, not at all accustomed to him being rough....but then she wasn't accustomed to him pushing men down the stairs and just staring after them like they were nothing more than a puff of dust.  Like, the man meant nothing, just like the rat meant nothing to the salesman....

Oh gods...what was going on?  Why was this happening?  Everything had been so perfect and now it was falling apart.  They were fighting....the first major fight they had ever had.  Sure, they had had arguments about certain things, like her health, but this...this left her breathless with fear, it made her heart ache and no just as a figure of speech.  Her heart felt like someone was slowly pushing pins into it....slowly...torturously slow.

The tears had stopped as fear overcame her, and he nearly answered, only to tear himself loose from her and run out.

All she could do was stare where he had just been.

His emotions were bombarding her thoughts and she had no way of shutting them out.  He was confused...and...too many emotions to name....far too many...but it didn't matter what he was feeling...what mattered was what he had done.....what mattered was the look that the man he given her...the pity in his gaze.....what mattered was what was happening to her beloved.

What was worse....she didn't know what she could do.  And the tears returned.

With a shattering sob she sank down to her knees, wrapping her arms around her chest in order to stop her heart from aching.  The pins were still there, slowly prodding her heart and making her breaths come short, but it was getting more bareable....mostly because she was getting use to it, slowly but surely.

She didn't know how long she sat there, how long she had been lost in her pain and sorrow, but the shriek of a child brought her back to her senses.

With a start she wiped her eyes and hurried over, picking up both Zawayn and Eolynne and holding them gently in her lap as she sat on the floor.  It was almost as if they could tell what she was feeling....and that made her shudder inwardly.  Her magic....being an Emotional.....it was not an easy burden and she hoped against hope that none of her children had her magic....that they wouldn't be burdened with feeling other peoples emotions in their minds, slowly driving them mad.  She had learned to block out most of them, but even now her barrier leaked.....but her children?  Gods, she hoped they didn't have to worry....but it seemed.....it seemed that they may...they just might have her same curse....or at least one....

With a shaking voice she soothed the babes and softly sang a lullaby that she remembered from her childhood.  Her Uncle Gand had sang it to both herself and to Tai and said that their mother had sang it to them.  She could vaguely remember a woman's voice whispering the words softly in her ear, but that could be her own imagination.  Eitheway, she sang it now and it soothed both her weary soul and her children.

As they slept on her breast she held them close and closed her eyes, falling into a restless slumber, tears still shining on her cheeks.

[Rhindeer]

It was well past dark by the time Aniketos returned, staggering up the steps and nearly falling back down them in his dazed state. He tried to remember what had happened, why he wasn't back here to begin with, but his mind felt...weird, his thoughts oddly thick. He could hardly even feel the link between himself and Rayne; her emotions felt distant, like they were coming to him from miles away, and he found that he really couldn't concentrate on one thought, emotion, or...anything. It was really just instinct that brought him back here, and it was instinct that he was relying on, because everything else was beyond him right now. Well, except for the ache in his muscles and the stinging in his left forearm, but it was too dark for him to see why it was bothering him, and he was too intent on just...getting home to stop and check.

Leaning heavily against the door, catching his breath and fighting off his dizziness, he fumbled for the door knob and turned...and it was indeed unlocked. Swinging the door open, he didn't even bother to close it, way too out of it to worry about things like that, and stepped inside before sinking to the floor. Okay, maybe sinking wasn't the right word. It sounded to graceful. Rather, his legs seemed no longer capable of supporting him and they simply gave out, finally, which sent him crashing down to the floor, and he didn't even notice the shocks of pain that should have shot through his hands and knees.

"Rayne...?" he called quietly, teetering even still until he finally sat down awkwardly. Everything felt weird. But, finally, sensation was starting to come back to him, or rather, some of his senses, and he could vaguely pick up on a weird, coppery scent, the scent of piles of coins.

There she was. A shape not too far away, huddled with their children. Aniketos scooted forward a little. He'd done something earlier that day...something that had hurt her. He remembered that. He didn't know what it was, though, but it had been something bad. That's what had happened. And...he'd gone out. Yeah. He couldn't really remember where...but he remembered why, now. To get her something. To apologize. He reached down into his pocket, remembering the trinket. Yeah...he'd been an ass. It...it must have been the stress...he probably shouldn't have run off.

But it had just...scared him...

"Rayne, I'm really sorry...'bout today...I dunno what came over me, but...I promise...I promise it won't happen again..."

He drew the trinket he'd gotten her out of his pocket and held it out to her. It was silver and sparkled slightly in the moonlight through the windows and still open door, a bracelet with a couple of little charms on them, a heart, some stars, even a little sun. "I got this fer ya..."

But there was something else there, too. The coppery smell was stronger, and the bracelet shimmered in an odd, wet way, and Aniketos' hand was strangely dark in splotches against the skin. The same dark splotches were also on his face, his clothes...

Blood.

"I'm sorry..."

[Goldie]

While she slept, she dreamed.

The sun had just set and Rayne began closing up the house for the night.  Small beams of moonlight were enough to guide her steps as she retraced very well known paths through the small house and shop.  In fact, she knew the house so well that she almost didn't need the moonlight at all.

As she continued towards the kitchen to close the back door, the light faded from the windows; the moonbeams became blackened threads that snagged at her feet.  She tried to step over them, but the darkness pressed down upon her, smothering her thoughts, her words, her deeds....she felt cut off, from everything.  Her heart beat quickly in her chest, but she could feel nothing....

Her emotions had been turned off.

If she could panic, she would have given herself into that rabid emotion....complete and utter panic....but she was stuck, dark threads tangling themselves around her, slowly inching their way upwards towards her neck until they suffocated her completely....and there was nothing she could do.  Absolutely nothing.

Rayne?

She heard her voice being called faintly through her mind.  She latched onto it with her thoughts, trying to see where it was coming from.

Rayne...

She jolted awake, the second voice closer than the first, tearing her out of her nightmare with a ragged gasp.  It took her a few minutes to realize where she was, and have her eyes adjust to the darkness.

Oh gods, it was like her dream, the dark....her heart fluttered in panic as she saw a dark figure looming above her and a small squeel escaped her lips before she recognized Aniketos' voice.  She a sigh of relief she pressed her free hand to her beating heart and gulped in a few breaths of air.

She froze.

Something didn't smell right....something was wrong, but she couldn't tell, not in the faded light.  It smelled like copper....and it was a scent that jogged vivid memories in her mind.  Nearly a year ago...oh gods...it was over a year but the images flashed before her eyes.

And Aniketos...his voice sounded labored...and the smell...it grew stronger as he drew closer.

Light, she needed light!

"Ani?" she whispered, fear causing her voice to shake.  "Ani...I need a light, I can't see you very well."  With that she set the babes down, thankful that they seemed to still be sleeping.  With a practiced grace she made her way to the small table by the couch where a small oil lamp rested, and lit the wick with one of the flint shards that rested nearby.  The lamp jumped to life, lighting up the room around them and she turned, turning the small dial to raise the shutter so she could see him better.

The smell was just as strong and it made her breaths come sharply, but it was what she saw that closed her mouth around a scream.

Images flashed before her eyes....Tai, dying in a pool of his own blood...Nakaris nearby, wounded by her own dagger...blood....that was the smell...oh gods, it was happening again....again!  She could never escape it!  Everywhere she went blood followed...it flowed freely....it killed those she loved and destroyed those it claimed through lust!  Oh Gods...and Ani....Aniketos....her beloved....that was what she was smelling!

The bracelet he held, it would have been beautiful if the silver had been pure.  Now it was covered in deep crimson...his hands were covered in the same substance...

Oh Gods....oh gods.....

The fear exploded through her, the needle that pricked her heart before seemed to be jammed harder into her heart, nearly causing her to drop the oil lamp.

"Ani....what....?" her voice was small and hardly sounded like her own.  She looked down and saw her children between herself and that man...that man....no....he couldn't be her Ani....he was a stranger to her....

With a soft cry she put the lamp on the table and scooped up the children into her arms, backing away slowly, towards the stairs that led to their rooms.  This thing...this man...she could feel his sorrow...his apology through his emotions, but the man she saw was not the man she felt.  Something had happened to him, something had covered him in scarlet.

"Who's blood is that?" she whispered, her blue eyes wide with fear.  "Who's....?"  she prayed...oh gods she prayed that it was his own!!!

[Rhindeer]

The darkness was suddenly washed away in a flash of light, but Aniketos didn't move, or flinch, or even squint. He simply waited patiently, staring placidly up at Rayne as she began to take him in, watching her expression, and he found it almost amusing suddenly, the horror that was on her face. Her expression was almost comical, and he could feel a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as she looked from the bracelet to him. Hmm...guess she wouldn't be wanting that after all, would she? What a shame. And after he'd gone through so much trouble to get it for her. How ungrateful, really.

Indeed, as quickly as the sorrow and confusion had been there, churning around within him, it was gone, replaced with something else. It was her fear that triggered it, the fear that felt so distant now but that still managed to filter down to him. Those emotions, once a source of empathy and understanding for him, of concern and love, now became a source of sadistic encouragement, something else for the magic within him to feed off of.

While Rayne was still trying to find the words to speak in that sad little mouse voice of hers, Ani's eyes went down to the children between them. Careless mother...she should learn not to be so careless around strangers. That's how so many little children got kidnapped every year, because of carelessness. She'd learn the hard way.

But before he could make a move to grab them, Rayne had already scooped them both into her arms, and it was then that Aniketos finally began to rise to his feet, as she began to back away toward their bedroom. He no longer really looked tired, nor did he even feel it anymore. Nah. That had only been because his mind and body were struggling, fighting, unwilling to accept the change that was fast occurring. Everyone fought in the beginning. It was natural. But eventually they tired, gave up. Once they slipped up for a second, it was over. After that, it was only a matter of time.

Finally standing, brushing the hair from his eyes, hair that was almost completely its natural red-gold color now, he took a few calm steps toward Rayne. Heh. What a question. Wasn't it obvious?

"Who's...?" he repeated, drawing it out. "Who d'ya think? Oh, some o' it's mine, sure..." He smiled. Indeed, with the light now filling the room, the blood's sources could finally be seen. Scratches. There were a series of scratches along his arms, some deep enough to draw blood, some shallow and leaving behind angry looking welts. But they were also on his face, and some of the blood was still fresh. Yet, so many scratches couldn't draw that much blood...his shirt was covered in it, some of it splashed onto his breeches. There was a deeper cut on his left forearm, a thin gash, but even that couldn't account for the blood. No, there had been a struggle, all right. And he had gotten a women's bracelet out of it.

"Ya don't hafta worry, Rayne...I'm okay," he went on, grinning a little as he followed her. "C'mon...don'tcha want th' bracelet? She won't be needin' it anymore..."

He moved easily between Rayne and the door, blocking her between the staircase to their rooms and him.

"Unless ya wanna give it back t' her..."

[Goldie]

His words send another dagger through her heart which made her breath catch in her throat as she winced against the pain.  She had always been told that it was dangerous for an Emotional to fall in love.  Then, she had believed it was only a story, and now with the pain coursing through her veins, she knew it was true.

When an Emotional falls in love and gives themselves fully to the person of choice, their hearts became connected in a way that they could never be free of it.  They could never leave their love unless they wished to die a slow death of a broken heart.  Broken heart....it had sounded like a metaphor, but now....now with daggers in her she knew better.  Aniketos was gone....he had left her and was replaced by this monster.

The man she loved was gone.

The Emotional's curse began.

She took another step backwards as he stood and walked forward, not even seeming to heed the wounds that laced his body.  She could see them now, and didn't need his explaination to know they did not create all of that blood.  He had been taken...just like Nakaris had fallen years before, now it was Aniketos' turn and she knew of nothing that could help him.  Even her fear envoked amusement and did nothing to bring out the man she loved.

He slid past her and in a moments space he stood between her and the stairway, blocking off her retreat.  She had thought she was scared before, but now she knew what it truly mean to be scared.  Nakaris' curse had not created this fear, nor had their last battle, or even her near death experience in childbirth.  No...this was heart wrenching fear, fear that made her knees shake, fear that made her realize just how powerless she was.

And then the truth....the truth behind his words were clear and it sent another shockwave of pain through her limbs.  He had...oh gods...he had killed...

She won' be needin' it anymore

Her blood ran cold.

"You didn't..." she muttered, and if her eyes could get any bigger than they already were, they would have, "Please!" she begged taking a step away from him, "You didn't....you wouldn't....tell me it's not true!"

She didn't want to fight him...she wanted to plead with him, to beg him to return and fight the vile magic that was controlling him!  And she would have, if it had only been her life at stake.  Now she was more than aware of the warm bundles in her hands.  They needed to be protected, and she would do anything in her power to keep them from harm.

Yet she needed to try.....at least a little....

"Aniketos," she addressed him, trying to make her voice sound firm despite it's quiver, "Aniketos you can fight this!  I know!  You've fought for so many years...don't let them go to waste.  I know you're strong!  I know you can push it back one more time....just once."  She needed to know he was still there....she needed hope that the pain in her heart could one day be lifted and that her children would still have their father.

[Rhindeer]

How sad. Aniketos could only laugh at Rayne, shaking his head amusedly as she begged him to tell her lies. Her emotions coursed through him, those distant sensations prickling at his mind from afar, but distant thought they were, they were still fuel enough. "Oh, fine. I didn't. I wouldn't. It's not true. I'd never hurt a fly. Nope, not yer Ani. There. Feel better now that I told ya what ya wanted t' hear?" he asked, taking another step toward her as she took a step back, keeping the distance between them equal. At least, for now. "Besides...what would ya do if I yold ya did? What diff'rence would it make? Ya'd still believe whatcha wanted to."

Another step toward her, his eyes occassionally glancing down to the children she held, his daughter and son, and he couldn't help the disgust that washed through him. Still, he glanced back up at her when she began to speak again, to beg...to beg him to fight it...to repress it...and the anger began to build, the magic within him flaring with indignation. Repress it. She wanted him to fight who he was. Wanted him to become something he wasn't, meek, innocent, non-violent, wimpy little Ani. That's who she wanted. Not him. She didn't care about him. She only cared about what she wanted. Just like with those damned kids. She wanted them. She never asked if he did, but he put his own feelings aside for her and agreed, even though afterward it had been nothing but stress, nothing but attention for the kiddies. Everything went downhill, they no longer even spent time together. But that was what she wanted. And he gave it to her. That's how it always was...

No...it wasn't. It wasn't like...it wasn't like that at all...

He pressed a hand to his temples as she rattled on, begging, pleading...he clenched his eyes shut briefly. Fight it...fight it...one more time...

No!

And then his eyes snapped open again. "Shut th' fuck up!" he snarled, and finally started to walk toward her, slowly. "It's always 'bout what ya want, what ya know. Well, fer once it's about what I want. This's me, Rayne. Live with it. Or...don't." He smiled cryptically after that. Rayne could take a wild guess at what that meant.

Finally he stopped, and glanced casually down at the children in her arms. Then he looked back up to her, meeting her gaze steadily. "Give 'em t' me." No preamble, no nothing. Just a direct order.

[Goldie]

If someone had told her that there was a state of fear so great that fear itself seemed to disappear, Rayne would have laughed.  Now, her fear reached it's breaking point as he continued to step forward.  If she could, she would have frozen in place, fear rooting her feet to the floor, but the bundles in her arms kept her mobile even when her fear threatened her mobility.

She needed to keep her head.  Above all else she couldn't lose her ability to think, not in a situation like this.  Aniketos was gone and it seemed as if he wasn't coming back.  At least...

No...he was fighting!  She felt his emotions waver as his hand went up to his temple.  He was still in there, somewhere.  Somewhere buried beneath the magic that was controlling his thoughts, memories, and actions, Aniketos was there, struggling to surface, even if it was futile.

Hope.

It was amazing how a small, dying candle of hope could chase away the fear, the darkness, the utter loneliness.  He was there, deep down.

It was enough.

She stopped her backwards retreat and let him catch up, closing the distance she had placed between them before.  Her blue eyes were no longer wide with fear, but reflected her sorrow, her betrayal...both her own and his....and the small kindled lantern of hope.

And defiance.

"No." she denied his order, "Whatever strain has been placed on you has nothing to do with them."  Tears filled her eyes.  She knew what she had to do and the only thing keeping her standing before him was her love and the sharp pain that was slowly increasing in her heart.  "If only my life were at stake," she started, choking on a sob, "I would give it to you....but I cannot....I will not...let you touch them.  Not now..." she shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Without another moments pause she pushed both babes into a one arm hold and grabbed the oil lamp from the table.  It crashed to the ground as she let go, the oil immediately spreading and flaring up into a barrier between herself and the man she had once loved.

She turned, shielding the babes as the flames began engulfing the house, starting with the rugs and slowly spreading to the furniture.  Rayne knew that she should leave right now, but something made her look back towards Aniketos, sorrow and pain etched into her features.  She knew that the pain would only increase when she left the house...when she purposefully fled from the man she had given her very soul.  Pain would be a constant element in her life...

until....

"I will find a way." she told him above the roar of the flames, not entirely sure he could hear her small voice, "I will find a way to free you."

The flames flared as they engulfed another oil lamp, spreading the flames faster than before.  She knew that Aniketos would escape...there were enough exits for the house.  Now it was her turn to leave, and with tears in her eyes she fled, running down the stairs to the front door and into the night.

She hugged the babes to her chest, sobbing quietly as she ran, not knowing when she would ever see her beloved again.