He crinkled his nose and made such a face. "The beach does not require two moons either. I'm pale enough to be easily mistaken for one."

Theo quietly nodded to the rest, brain clearly turning the ideas over and over like rocks in a tumbler getting polished. When he did speak it was with great hesitancy and focus. He sat up on his elbow to face Fletcher better and give the man his full attention. 

"But what if your life? Is partnered with a Baron really what you want? You don't like the noble life from what I've seen. Would you be Captain of your own ship? Would you stay here? I may make you happy—I want to make you happy, but what thing of substance will sustain you? You don't have to know yet anymore than I do but...something to think on I guess."

Theo smiled back. "I am...the same. I've never thought of anything outside of the cage in so long. It's...scary, I admit. But, with you it feels worth it. It feels possible to plan let alone dream. And I'd be lying if I didn't say I was terrified of it."

He stole another set of little kisses and hummed softly. "Do I even want to know how you'll rub it in her face? Or get my status as heir reinstated?" Tweaked Fletcher's chin but grinned tiredly all the same at him.

"I want to go to the beach at night with you. See the stars and listen to the waves until you're complaining about how cold you are. Come home and...warm you up."

"As if I don't stare at you training with every available opportunity you adorable, perfect man. Do you know every time I look you up and down and imagine you as you are now, my heart begins to race and I feel suddenly flushed and weak-kneed? This is the effect you have on me, my Jack. I feel like I'm drowning in your ocean of radiance. And I am a willing victim. Never you fear that," he said with a small grin and another soothing kiss.

Theo kept his touches light and tender as he took in all of Fletcher's words. Giving things up and wanting things to be over so others could continue.  A future. Their future. He hadn't really considered it until then. Wanted it of course. But it was a forbidden, hidden thing kept buried beneath the locked doors of his heart's vault. It was not a thing he dared dream of. But here was this amazing, beautiful man being so bold as to dream it for them both. A man who wanted to fall more in love with him. A man that like himself danced around saying the actual words but all the same all but screamed it for the stars to hear.

"...What is something you'd like to do together once this is all over and I'm no longer engaged?"

"I assumed it was an insult, that you called me it because I am noble and soft-handed without hardship. I did not think you actually meant it because you found me pretty. It is a welcome surprise that you do."

He made a soft concerned face and gave Fletcher's shoulder a squeeze. "I am the incautious one. I tease you and crave you and challenge you in broad daylight in public when I should not. Your eyes are not the only ones that linger. I will be good. We will make sure we do not get sloppy in our excitement to be close. That is all."

Theo settled back into the bed more and looked up at Fletcher curiously. "Have you figured me all out now? Or am I still your puzzle?"

"This...was you wild?" He grinned with a rarer seen confidence. "I enjoy your wild, my heart. We just must continue with care. I would not want to lose this with you because we got too greedy too fast."

Theo smoothed his hand over Fletcher's chest, feeling the man's heartbeat pulsing against his fingertips. "I find myself becoming that man the more I bask in your presence, the more I find a safe harbor in your embrace."

A sly grin curled his lips then as he pulled Fletcher in by the back of the neck for another kiss. "Did I not turn your head then when we first met?"

He petted his lover's face, loving the feel of stubble beneath his fingertips as he offered quiet reassurance. "I know. I swore off too and then in you came barreling into my life and I feel pulled like the current to your shore. No escape. And no desire to try."

Theo tilted his head though at the reassurance returned to him. Something Fletcher kept saying gave him pause. "You know you're not bad for having desires that do not match my own? Any more than if I had desires at a time you didn't I am not bad? We say stop, we stop no matter what stage."

He cupped the other man's chin and gave it a tweak. "I cannot imagine making you wait much longer. If this is how this feels...I could easily be made content under your mastery. Just...you know it is not because of you? It is entirely me. You are deeply attractive and charming and I feel safe with you. I know when I am ready it will be with you. And I've never imagined that before with anyone."

He squeezed his hand back, equally. "One hell of a meant to be, huh? The market. The job. The gods seemed to not want to take any chances it wouldn't come to this. I know I certainly wasn't looking for this. I was...adamant I would never feel this again. And then you had to go and be so...kind."

His eyes misted up as he turned his head enough to kiss Fletcher's chin. "Thank you. For all of it. For being kind. For taking care of me. Respecting me and my wishes. I know how hard that is. For being patient because I'm...so new to all this and shy. I don't know what I did to deserve you. But I'm grateful it was you."

It quickly became an overwhelming whirlwind of sensation and emotion for Theodore. Soft sounds he'd never made before easily escaped him, brushing Fletcher's skin wherever he could plant his lips. He felt as if his skin was on fire and he was drowning in an ocean of ecstasy with only Fletcher as his tether back to reality.

Theo bit his own wrist so hard it would surely bruise to keep himself quiet as he careened off the metaphorical cliff. And then he returned the favor.

It was late in the evening and he was an absolutely boneless heap by the time they were settled back into each other's arms. Theo didn't think he could move a muscle if he wanted to. "Is it—does it always feel like that?" He questioned in a somewhat deeper, and hoarse voice than usual. "I've never...that was..." Theo giggled uncontrollably having no words to explain but knowing Fletcher likely understood how he felt.

Theo stepped in closer and dragged Fletcher into a hungry, passionate kiss. "Then show me what I've been missing all this time," he whispered against his lips. "I've wanted this all day."

He drank him in but politely kept his distance. Theo knew Fletcher had said his strength was tenuous and here again it was brought to light. The man was trying to respect Theo's wishes. The question though was what was enough for Fletcher?

Theo smiled softly to see him signing and quickly signed back. "What is considered safe? What is the point you can stop at? I..." he blushed but kept going, "am interested in what we discussed last night. In touching and...being touched. But, I am not ready for full intercourse still. If that is too much for you, I understand. I can wish you good night here. Either way I am glad to know your wants and respect your wishes."

Theo tried to read in his room but his thoughts were constantly filled with Fletcher. He could not wait for evening to come when he could crawl back into the man's arms again and maybe finally sleep there until dawn. They still needed to rest of course that the candles would wake Fletcher up given that Theo had no chance whatsoever of being any help in that department. 

It was a great relief when dinner was finally over and he no longer had to posture and remain neutral in front of his parents. This season certainly always brought out the worst in his mother and he just wasn't up for dealing with her. The slow, torturous walk back to his room was years rather than minutes it felt like until at last he was peacefully and safely alone again. He cleaned up and changed, making sure he was squeaky clean before quietly calling out to the next room.

"May I please come over or would you rather have some peace tonight? It's okay if you'd rather be alone."

"Because the sea is pretty and not all of us are brave enough to ride her waves or swim her shores. We can only stare at her from open windows," Theo waxed poetically back. He stamped his feet at the entrance to the kitchen and wisely dodged Aneisha's attempt to pounce on him.

Fletcher's cough still seemed to linger and it was beginning to worry him. It was possible the cold air was just a shock to his system but Theo wondered if the man was hiding he had a cold for one reason or another. He made a mental note to add cough-easing tonic to his list of upcoming purchase requests. In his mind at least one of them could be comfortable.

He hardly noticed when Fletcher passed by and went into his own room. And when he did realize he thought little of it given the man's earlier struggle with keeping composure. Theo instead got himself changed and ready for dinner as was expected of him and took to sitting by the dwindling fire while he waited to be summoned.

Theo scowled at the mention of going in but dragged himself to his feet all the same. "I wish winters weren't so long. I miss riding in the field in spring."

"You'd have an easier time riding if you weren't fattening all the horses up with sugar cubes, Mr. Theodore," Dewey piped up without missing a beat.

The nobleman looked quite embarrassed as he relinquished what was left of the sugar into the other man's waiting hand. "For what it's worth Dewey, she also has choice taken from her when she is kept from knowing it existed in the first place. Just food for thought.

"Let's go Mr. Daw. You look about ready to turn into an icicle." 

"She is listened to. That is the difference." Dewey broke Fletcher's gaze now that the worst was over and moved to collect the feed bucket. 

"It sounds to me Aneisha is lucky to have you then, Mr. Jack. Was there anything you were needing in here, sirs?"

For all of his gentle, quiet nature Dewey surprisingly held his ground against Fletcher's more feral display. There was a reason this quiet young man was master of the stables despite his age and seeming lack of experience: he knew how to handle every matter of beast with utmost respect and caution. Fletcher was no different. He was not about to back down to the other man's threat display. 

"She is not my queen so your words are an ill-placed posturing. While it would be my honor to worship on bender knee for I am no king and could never cage her spirit, Aneisha clearly has no interest in me. If there is a lucky man, I assure you it is not me. I have not seen her today and am not the cause of her smiles. See though that you are not in turn the cause of her tears Mr. Jack."

Theo opened his eyes a moment later and was equally surprised to see Fletcher telling Dewey off. He ducked his head in amusement, knowing very well why poor Dewey was interested in Aneisha's love life while also feeling bad for being the one to bring it to his attention.

"...nothing," Dewey replied. "If she is happy and safe then it is none of my business. Her choices are her own and should be hers alone." He looked to Fletcher pointedly as if daring the older man to interfere. 

"There's a difference between a man I know and a man I don't. Besides," he said thickly, looking completely downtrodden, "that was said before I came to the stark reality of not knowing people like I thought I do."

He rested his head back against one of the stalls and closed his eyes. "Tease Aneisha about her new boyfriend or not, at the end of the day it's not any of my business I suppose. Best I don't make more of a mess of things."

"Aneisha has a boyfriend?" Dewey stood behind Fletcher looking pale and like he had been punched in the stomach. 

Theo shook his head. "I only know better because I've tried before. Elijah was the caretaker, not me. I don't know much of anything in that regard so don't beat yourself up too much. At least you can escape some of them and send the others. Maybe get yourself up to mischief finding out who Aneisha's new mystery man is."

He kept his mouth shut and had to dip his head to hide the surprised brow raise he gave the other man to see him almost fawning over Aya. All the months Theo had known Fletcher not once had he spoken in anything less than exasperation towards the dog he felt obligated but not attached to caring for.

"Too sick and they'll stay home and send for the healer. Not sick enough and I'm dragged along with a hovering mother. Besides somehow I don't think 'why yes I just destroyed my insides, let's have fun now,' sounds as inviting in reality. This of course paired with that kind of repeated illness can't be good for my actual health. It was worth a thought though I suppose," he added hurriedly realizing how it must have sounded shutting down the person actually trying to help him. 

Theo shrugged. His own experiences were so different that he couldn't really comment on how true or not Fletcher's words were. However, when he realized he had let Fletcher in on his own secret tradition, he blushed and looked away embarrassed.

"Well I mean they do their own celebrating of course and they all try to have gifts for each other. My parents give the majority of them Yule Eve off and Yule morning. Kenna and Olivier will likely still work extra but the rest of you can at least enjoy it. I always purchase a barrel of drink for their festive and some small useless gift for each of them. It's stupid and not much I know," he muttered with an embarrassed shrug. "They don't know any of it comes from me except Kenna who helps me with it. Sorry to spoil the magic for you I guess."

He kicked over an empty bucket and sat down on it in thought while Gin and Tonic swarmed at his feet for head pets. "It's a relentless mess of rapidly increasing parties until as it gets closer it's one or even two a night. The closer to Yule yours is, the higher standing in the community you have. If the forces that be are with me I can take ill with plague and avoid the majority of them from the comfort of my bed. Everyone just constantly drunk and loud and merry. It just all feels so...fake."