His shoulders drooped some but Theo offered a tired, friendly smile before entering his room. Part of him had hoped Fletcher would join him and they could get some more alone time together in. Truthfully though he was exhausted and heart-heavy.
He changed out of his sash and over robe before collapsing into his bed. The blankets were pulled up over his chin and he stared out the window at the sun filtering through the tree leaves.
How was it that even though he wanted her gone, he was still so badly stung by it all? And then there was Fletcher. Was the game too much? Was he already having second thoughts? Was he angry with Theo or just holding distance? Could Theo himself even keep up with all of this? Should he?
He wanted to.
The man told him to be greedy and he was but he'd seen the coldness from Fletcher and found himself unsure if it was an act or his fault or both. He wanted to run up to the other door and slip in. To crawl into his lover's arms and melt. To get up to mischief and be reassured.
But he stayed put. A sigh fell from his lips as he rolled onto his back and he stared up at the canopy.
"You're fucking this up, Theodore. What are you doing? You don't deserve him. You really don't. You're just hurting him.
"He said be greedy. You're supposed to trust him like you've asked him to trust you. He's an adult making adult decisions. He thinks it's worth it then it's worth it right? He's confident, experienced, worldly...
"Then what am I?" Theo groaned and sighed to himself rubbing at his face. He growled and chucked a pillow off the bed. "She drives me crazy. Can't stand her!"
He changed out of his sash and over robe before collapsing into his bed. The blankets were pulled up over his chin and he stared out the window at the sun filtering through the tree leaves.
How was it that even though he wanted her gone, he was still so badly stung by it all? And then there was Fletcher. Was the game too much? Was he already having second thoughts? Was he angry with Theo or just holding distance? Could Theo himself even keep up with all of this? Should he?
He wanted to.
The man told him to be greedy and he was but he'd seen the coldness from Fletcher and found himself unsure if it was an act or his fault or both. He wanted to run up to the other door and slip in. To crawl into his lover's arms and melt. To get up to mischief and be reassured.
But he stayed put. A sigh fell from his lips as he rolled onto his back and he stared up at the canopy.
"You're fucking this up, Theodore. What are you doing? You don't deserve him. You really don't. You're just hurting him.
"He said be greedy. You're supposed to trust him like you've asked him to trust you. He's an adult making adult decisions. He thinks it's worth it then it's worth it right? He's confident, experienced, worldly...
"Then what am I?" Theo groaned and sighed to himself rubbing at his face. He growled and chucked a pillow off the bed. "She drives me crazy. Can't stand her!"