This wizard was foolish to challenge me on my own holiday, such insolence would not be ignored. To him perhaps, any day was a good day to beckon the gods themselves to strike him down. Needless to say, there was nothing that he could ask of them that I couldn't deliver much faster and with a glorious presentation...
"ROLAND... MY WARD, STAND BACK. HE INVOKES THE... NAME OF... THE EVIL WIZARD GOD... HIMSELF." Roland scurried behind a overturned cart and trembles. "Should we not flee master?" The Mighty Flynn turns to the sky again for a moment before making his statement amidst the quaking earth. I... WILL NOT... FLEE." The underhanded and unsightly wizard saw his opportunity and threw a bolt of lightning toward the unsuspecting The Mighty Flynn. The violent storm tore The Mighty Flynn's glorious cotton shirt asunder revealing his perfectly sculpted body for all to enjoy. Women everywhere began fainting at the immaculate sculpture of perfection that was beyond anything that the gods could even dream of creating. "YOU... FOOL! MY PHYSIQUE CAN... NOT BE WITNESSESED... BY... THE FAIRER SEX... WITHOUT CAUSING THEM TO... FAINT... IN THE PRESENCE... OF MY... GLORY!" The fair maiden Claire chimed in from behind the bush where she was flung. "Dearest The Mighty Flynn, I seem to be fine." The Mighty Flynn's gaze turned upon her. "YOU ARE... BLINDED... BY LOVE. YOU CAN... NOT... FULLY COMPREHEND MY... PERFECTION." She giggles a little and returns to her bush. "Tis true, you are so very wise."
The evil wizard laughs maniacally and boasts his terrible plan. "Of course, I knew this was the case. The women of this land will be so much easier to rob when they are unconscious. I will be the richest man in existence so long as perfect chest remains bare. Why not join me The Mighty Flynn? Together we can be wealthy and famous." The Mighty Flynn growled and split the earth before them. "I... HATE... YOU!" Daiabolaclese trembled before his might. "Please forgive me The Mighty Flynn!" The Mighty Flynn drew his blade PYROCLASM and held it high over his head. "BY MY BLADE PYROCLASM, MY FURY... UNSHEATHED!" Faster than even The Mighty Flynn could run, the evil wizard Diabolaclese prostrated himself at The Mighty Flynn's mighty feet. "I will do anything The Mighty Flynn, please have mercy. I surrender to your greatness." "THEN GIVE ME... YOUR ROBE. THEN RELEASE THE ORPHANS... FROM THEIR... CAGES." His robe was surrendered and the orphans were evil magically removed from their cages to safety. The Mighty Flynn stretched the robe to fit himself, covering his glorious physique once more. The women of the land rose from their unconscious state with disappointment on their faces. "Is there anything else I should do The Mighty Flynn? Without my robe, I don't have the evil blessing of the evil wizard god anymore. I am without magic." The Mighty Flynn gazed upon the feeble groveling wretch before him. "YOU WILL... OPEN A STORE... IN THIS TOWN. YOU SHALL... HENCEFORTH... BE KNOWN TO ALL AS... THE NOT EVIL WIZARD PAWNBROKER... NOT DIABOLACLESE." The not evil wizard pawnbroker not Diabolaclese rose to his feet with glee and thanked The Mighty Flynn graciously as he ran to the center of town to start his new business. Turning his gaze to his right, The Mighty Flynn saw his trusty steed clinging to life with an arrow pierced through his chest. The Mighty Flynn knelt beside his stalwart companion and comforted him in his final moments. "YOU CAN DIE NOW, I... PERMIT IT." With The Mighty Flynn's permission, the mighty moose exhaled his last breath and died with valor. "YOU SHALL BE MOURNED IN TIME... MY... FRIEND, BUT FOR NOW... WE FEAST."
Later, at the feast. Everyone for miles around were in attendance to witness The Mighty Flynn enjoy his well fought victory with the finest food they could provide. The Mighty Flynn bit heartily into the succulent flank of his departed companion. Roland stared on in confusion. "Why are you eating your steed master?" The Mighty Flynn swallowed the mouthful of meat before speaking. "TIS THE GREATEST HONOR... THAT ONE CAN BESTOW... UPON A MEMBER... OF... MOOSEKIND." Roland nodded in agreement. "Ah yes, I had forgotten."