This is a parable I had to write for Pre-AP English, and I really want peoples' input on it...I know it isn't very good, so that's why I want as much critique as possible! Oh, and kudos to those who know who the woman in this story is... Here are a few clues...
-She's from a manga series.
-This manga series is written by a rather well-known group of 5 women, who have written and drawn many other popular series.
Thank you for reading! ^_^
The sun twinkled graciously over the freshly-scented flowers of newly-arrived spring. Warmth and new awakening was everywhere, obvious even in the people walking to and from their jobs, work, and school. One young woman was obviously the most jovial, twirling about in her school uniform, humming as she went. Her short hair danced over her shoulders as she avoided the work-savvy businessmen and women, smiling innocently at their stares.
Not long into her joyous trek, she came upon a looming fence and gate, the opening of which was crowned with crescent moons. She stopped abruptly to peer at the large house within the wards of the property. It was rather beautiful, but very traditionally-fashioned in its décor and shape. Old sliding paper doors, decorated ornately, could be spotted beyond the long stone path. It was rather awkward; having such an antique house nestled between two very modern skyscrapers…The place almost did not seem to be in quite the right era.
“Do you like my home?� A woman’s voice interrupted the youth’s thoughts. She jumped and whirled about, coming face-to-face with a woman around 25. She was very pale and dressed in a beautiful kimono, with black hair sweeping to the back of her knees, cut flat at the ends. Her mysterious violet eyes watched the child thoughtfully as she gave a slight tilt of her head. “There must be a reason for you to be looking…�
Blinking as she eyed the woman, the high-school student flashed a sweet smile, pushing any curiosity back into the depths of her mind. “I do like it… It’s very nice! I hope to live somewhere like this when I grow up…� She mused wistfully, eyes again glancing over the woman’s abode. “It’s such a coincidence that I came by this beautiful house today, isn’t it?�
“…No. There is no such thing as coincidence. You had a reason for coming here…Do you have a wish?� The ebony-haired woman asked calmly.
“A wish?� The minor bit her lip in thought, but quickly smiled again. “Nope! Not one that I can think of! After all, who could want anything on such a sunny day?� She gave another twirl, not noticing the woman take a step from the gate towards her.
“It is going to rain, I would say...� She replied stoically, amethyst eyes seeming to narrow slightly at the girl’s hearty nature. Reaching out a porcelain hand, she touched her on the shoulder, stopping the cascade of twirls. “You should be careful…No one is special, after all…�
“Hm?� Giving another child-like blink, the teen did not seem to quite understand. “Don’t worry about me! My family always says I have unnaturally good luck, so I’ll be fine no matter what!� Another smile flashed over her face as she turned around to the crosswalk. “But thank you for the advice! It was very nice talking to you!� Giving a small wave, she sauntered off across the road.
She failed to see the large van coming quickly towards her.
There was the screech of tires, the sounds of horrified passers-by as someone shouted for “911� to be called. In front of the gates, the violet-eyed woman watched silently, no readable emotion on her face.
“Even the greatest of luck must eventually run out. No one is special.� She repeated to herself, whirling about and stepping back inside the deserted and barren property just as it began to rain.
