An unfortunate circumstance

[Anonymous]

To be warm... it was like one of the many pieces to the puzzle of life, along with all those other pieces, like to be happy, to be loved, Perish knew she probably wasn't going to be able to get many of them, but it was the pieces she could reach that made her existence now matter.
To be alive... like the wish of a ghost, or the wish for someone lost, it was one of those dreams that were like clouds, you could stare at them all day and they not get any closer, no matter what, not even if you jumped as high as you could.

For once she actually forgot about the ever-lingering desire for the safety of her armour, and the utility of her sword, forgetting about the very purpose she had been built for, right now she just couldn't find herself caring about it.
It was an odd feeling, abandoning the other half of her reason to live simply to enjoy the warmth of Ode's body, mercilessly leech it from him like some bizarre vampire, it warmed her up, thawed her out, made her feel just a little more alive than before.

Perish did have a slight concern in the depths of her mind, if Ode was reaching into this hell hole of her life to pull her out, wouldn't he be immersing himself in her misery as well?  Every moment he spends trying to pull her into the light he himself gets pulled into the darkness?
She didn't like that... she didn't like that at all... Ode was too kind to her for her to just allow him to fall into her misery, she wouldn't let anyone else bear her suffering, her burden, it was the consequences of her actions and she accepted them willingly.
The logic was clear but she found herself rather distracted with the warmth, it was a bit selfish but she wanted more, attempting to press a little further against Ode.

Then again, why would Ode condemn himself like that?  Willingly reach into darkness to pull someone out?  That concept made no sense, thus further confused her even further as to Ode's motivations in helping her.
All she wanted was to follow him around, listen to his music, apparently he had other ideas that she couldn't even hope to guess at.

She frowned a little when Ode said there was something wrong, she hated doing the wrong thing by people, disapproval, disappointment, she didn't enjoy it in the least.  Generally when someone was disappointed, they weren't happy, if they weren't happy then that was bad, living people were meant to be happy, Perish didn't want to change that.
Though there was a strange confliction there, she didn't like making people unhappy but if they attacked her she saw absolutely no qualm in ending their life right there and then, it didn't make a whole lot of sense but her mind was somehow forced into accepting it, not questioning it.
Another aspect of the dark powers no doubt.

Perish could only just feel him touching her as he spoke, as if in demonstration though her expression fell a little when it didn't really feel 'pleasurable', she couldn't even remember what it was supposed to feel like, let alone guess, but it didn't feel special, in fact she barely felt it.

"Not really... I barely felt it..." Perish said, a little crestfallen at her lack of feeling, it tended to provide the biggest barrier between her and the living, and she honestly had no idea how to change that fact, or even if she wanted to.
"It didn't feel like anything special... what is it supposed to feel like? I've... forgotten..." Perish said, a little lost once more.

[Anonymous]

Ode could care less about the fact that she was taking his heat. It was his to give after all, and he could always make more. He could handle temperatures after all, both hot or cold, but he wanted Perish to be warm. Somehow, he wished that he could heat her up, that he could help her to regain what would feel like...being alive again. That she could feel the warmth within her and spread throughout her body and fill her very soul. The bard was talking again in his head, it was a strange habit of his really.

He lived with it nicely though.

It helped him live.

Just like Perish would. She was stuck in a rut, he didn't know how long she had really been in this position of her life...how long she had suffered through this sort of thing. He could help her though, he could pull her from this spot of hers. Again, the romantic bard in him pictured wings, pulling her from the ground into the air to soar with him. Ah, he could have all sorts of adventures that was for sure. He just hoped that she wanted to stay around with him, and it seemed all the more as she pressed herself against him even more.

Hopefully his warmth and the fire would help to heat everything up with him.

He probably should have used a different word than wrong. He meant it in a completely different way, and her frown made his own face become saddened. "No I meant...that it's wrong. Not that you're wrong, that no one should be without a little warmth, a good touch or two, that sort of thing. I meant that...that your unlife has been wrong to you...but not for much longer." He'd make sure that her unlife was better now, when they got to the city, ah the fun they were gonna have. Teach her things like a hot bath, the importance of a hot bath, and relaxing in a small park watching people go by. Oh yes...the plans that were out there!

Ode's hand slowly ran along her cheek, cupping the bottom of her chin in his hand as he pulled her so she could look at him. "It's supposed to make you feel warm, to make you tingle slightly...a good...pleasurable feeling should make your knees weak...and you should feel it..." He thought about it, his free hand coming to run along her spine. "Right along here. That's a really good feeling of pleasure though. You'll know pleasure though, whether it's just from a touch of an...an..." Oh what the heck was that word? Something zone. "Well, a pleasure zone really. Spots on a person that gives them that feeling of pleasure. It's all mental really...I knew a girl who had this one spot on her foot...drove her wild apparently." She however, had been a firmly married woman, and her husband had been a braggart. He had thought about becoming her shoe for a day and seeing if he could find it that way but...something had told him not to. Probably for the best really.

"Everyone's different though Perish. Everyone has different spots...and everyone finds different touches pleasurable." He didn't want her to feel bad about not finding it pleasurable. His arms went about her again, one more around her waist, the other more around her shoulders, holding her close to him, hugging her tight.

He could try more sorts of things, a massage, kisses, more touches, there were things that he could do, but things that he shouldn't. After all, they had just met.

"One day though, we might find something Perish. What about my music? or my stories? Did those stir any happy feelings in you?" There was a story that he could recall, one that might help to give a little perspective even.

"I have a tale to tell you...it's about a man who got lost in the desert. This man wasn't the best man in the world. He had been a merchant, a very greedy merchant who prized gold and silver above the lives of his family, of his clients, of even the men who he had paid and swore to protect him. This man became lost in a sand storm, he had become separated from his caravan. He had only a horse to carry him through the sand, and so he pushed the animal as hard as he could. Two days passed as he wandered with his horse. By some grace of fate, he came across a strange figure in the desert. The figure was a woman as it turned out as he approached her. She led him to a small patch of Cacti. She had no wineskin with her, no water pouch or anything of that sorts, yet she cut open the cacti and let him drink the juices, as well as his horse." Ode spoke in such strange tones, his voice was thick with emotion as he spoke and told her this story.

"The last cacti was cut open and she offered it to him, even though he could tell she needed it more. He took it from her for a moment before he gave it back to her. She gratefully drank the juices of the cactus. Two days later, the trio emerged from the desert, the nomad having led him  and his horse safely from the desert. He realized, that without her, he would have died in the desert, and if he had greedily taken the last cacti from her, she would have died in the desert and he would have been lost forever. Despite the fact that she was dehydrated and dying of thirst, she had still offered it to him. He didn't know why, he didn't understand, but...he had been grateful anyway. She had saved him, without wanting anything, without asking for a reward, and she had almost given her life to a complete stranger." Ode liked that story, he had heard it a long time ago, and it was a very compelling story really. It had everything in it, it was rather good for this current situation as well.

[Anonymous]

By far the most strangest feeling, most of her outter body had become rather warm, yet she could still feel her insides almost radiating frost, waging a war inside her body to see which temperature would be the victor.  Hot and cold at the same time, she couldn't really remember ever experiencing that before, it was a comforting kind of equilibrium since she had grown accustomed to the cold, yet enjoyed the warm.

She did wonder how long Ode was going to hang around her, everyone got bored of things eventually, especially of depressed people, Perish really only knew of that one blind man that never got bored with her, she actually had to end up losing interest in him before moving on.
It was good to feel accepted in some way, the blind man mostly for his lack of sight to determine what Perish was, and Ode's seemingly unconditional acceptance of her.

Her unlife was a bit wrong in some aspects she guessed, while she didn't really care about how bad or wrong these dark powers were, they seemed to be the bane of her existence ironically.
Ode's determination was rather impressive, Perish had thought he might have given up on 'reviving' her eventually but he was still going strong, still wanting to bring her back, still trying to help.
She'd never really had the 'weak knees' thing anything, unless of course someone actually broke her knees, but she was pretty sure that was different, and it definitely hadn't triggered anything in that spinal region Ode had indicated.
Perish honestly didn't know where her pleasure regions were, the question had never really arisen before, she was mildly curious about where they were and what it felt like exactly, she could rarely remember feeling anything besides the cold embrace of her existence.
Except of course now she was in the warm embrace of Ode, things must be different when she was warm, they had to be...

The tightened proximity with Ode was nice, more warmth was transferred through so she wouldn't complain, not that she'd complain in any case, Ode was quite free to do anything he wanted except hurt her, then he'd have to worry about her trying to kill him.
It was probably a good thing most people attacked her on sight instead of work her out, when she was getting attacked she wasn't being told what to do, otherwise her miserable existence would probably have involved a lot more mischief on everyone else's behalf.

"Your music is nice, I was hoping you'd sing some time. I really enjoy it, it makes me feel things... emotions that I haven't gotten to experience in awhile," Perish replied, a little surprised at herself that she just over-answered a question, she didn't usually make that habit so it made her curious.
Unexplainable things seemed to happen around Ode, Perish hadn't had anyone to properly talk to and understand, she guessed it was just another part of her opening up, though she was hesitant as always, not wanting to disturb Ode any more in case she pushed him away.

Ode's tale was quite the experience, easily immersing Perish into the story, even though Perish had little idea on the concepts of greed and the value of life, hazards of a sand storm or even the use of a horse for travel, she did see a faint concept or moral behind the story.  It was kind of amazing the sheer amount of things she didn't understand about the world, probably why she felt so lost and confused all the time.
"Why did they do that? Randomly helping out a stranger...? It doesn't make much sense... isn't that unsafe or something for living people?" Perish asked, the questions multiplied on her and made their way back around to the subject she'd been mostly ignoring for awhile now, except her curiousity was about to get the better of her.
"And what about you?  Why do you help out a complete stranger? Wandering around with a soulless killing machine when you could be flying amongst the clouds or searching the seas?" Perish asked plainly, as she straight up didn't understand it at all, not even able to guess at it.

[Anonymous]

Ode couldn't see himself getting bored of Perish. She was terrific company, despite what she or others might think. He enjoyed the refreshing company, and though some might think it would get stale, he was a bard. He could make it more lively, and he already had plans to do just that. However, it would take being back in the city though. He had to make sure she didn't summon that armour and walk around with a big sword. Everything however would work out if he just was careful, and he would be.

It was sad to think that she couldn't experience pleasure. It did come from a lot of different places, and it didn't have to be sexual of course. Though, Ode did delve into that part of pleasure really, there were other things that could bring pleasure. Food, scenery, music, stuff like that, but most of that was rather scarce at this time. He also didn't know her particular disposition towards scenery, he wasn't sure she'd be able to understand the complex beauty, and she didn't eat so there was no luck there, not even a couple of glasses of wine to heat her blood up. Music however he could do, and that'd be easy.

It'd be too cold for his lute now though, the stringes would probablyend up snapping if he tried to play anything now. Once they were out of this colder environment he could play some things for her, but for the time being he'd have to do with stories and what not.

"When we get back to a warmer climate, you can bet that I'll play you a few more songs." He told her softly. If she really did enjoy the music, then he wouldn't mind at all. She was a good audience after all, and he did love to play his music. She had been captivated after all, and it was good that it made her feel emotions again. Music could be a powerful thing when used in the right hands, and by the right person.

He smiled at her questions after his story had concluded. "Some people don't look at others as strangers or enemies, they just see a friend that they've not met. Some people are selfless within, that they'd help out someone else because that person obviously needed help. It's the human condition really. There is good in the world, it's pure, and it's uninhibited." You could take away multiple morals from a story of course, it all depended on a person's judgement, on their outlook, and to Ode, he liked the idea of there being some good out there, that there were people who'd willingly die to help another out.

It was touching.

"Because beneath all that armour, beneath all that sorrow and all the confusion, I found a person. I found a person who wants to cast off the sorrow and the confusion, a person who'd like to see the world from a different perspective. I found someone who looked tired of the darkness and wanted to once more step into the light." Ode's words were once more quiet and soft, his eyes gazing at her face as he spoke. Perish was a person who was lost in the desert. She needed to find her way out, and Ode could help her do that.

"Besides, you're not a stranger anymore. You're Perish." He told her with a small smile playing on his face. They weren't strangers anymore, not by a long shot. He'd hazard to say they were friends even. After all, he cared about what would happen to her, and she had obviously been distressed when he had left her here in the cave alone. The look she had given him when he returned had said volumes. No, they weren't strangers anymore, they had formed a bond together.

Ode reached out with one hand to grab a piece of wood to toss on the fire, he put on a couple more pieces after that to really get the warmth going. If he had been smart, he'd have transformed into something to move a boulder in front of the cave entrance, but they were well enough inside that the cave could heat up somewhat without the cold air rushing in. He relaxed after the wood caught fire, his arm returning to hold around Perish and keep her against him. Truth be told, he saw the romanticized outlook of it all. She was lost, and he was someone that wanted to find her. The entire idea was actually very...lovely.

He was also surprised he had gone this long without trying to kiss her!

He blamed that on common sense and the more serious outlook of the situation.

[Anonymous]

The tale did give her a lot to think about, all the aspects of life, all the things she didn't understand that everyone would, it held a vast snapshot on life that she could possibly use someday.
Unfortunately there were just some things about her that made most of that story so redundant she couldn't even begin to understand why anything happened in that story.
She'd been lost in the desert once, the sand in the armour had been a nightmare but it was inevitable that she'd eventually get out, she had all the time in the world.  She hadn't been limited by time, needing to eat or drink, she hadn't needed a horse, partly from the fact most horses didn't like her, they seemed to know something was 'wrong' with her.
If she had been that merchant, she probably would have given up all the cacti to that woman, though she also wouldn't have been greedy, or had any money.
But the thing was, if both of them had the chance of dying, what stopped them from just being selfish at the time? How did they manage to defy their own needs, their own natural instinct?
If the merchant was greedy he should have kept the cactus, if the woman was thirsty she should had drunk from the cactus herself, why did it play out defying both of those basic pieces of logic?

Now that she thought about it though, it wasn't all that different from what she was making of her existence right now, she followed people and selflessly helped them as much as she could, but then again was that because she didn't have any needs or instincts of her own?
The fact was it was still a selfless act that she herself was performing, yet she didn't entirely understand it even though.  Being confused about one's self definitely played havoc on the mind.

It was kind of funny how she was so comfortable around Ode and she really only knew that he was a shapeshifting bard that enjoyed breaks and needed to eat things, even if it was her nature to be so naive, it was still kind of strange in some way, not many people willingly held her.

She was a bit happier knowing that Ode would play some songs later, as she didn't know what a warmer climate felt like so she would just be patient until he played his lute.  Heck if she wasn't patient she'd probably go insane, time moved so strangely for her, and considering people were forced to use a third of their lives sleeping, patience was something she had to learn.

"It sounds like life doesn't make sense, I like helping people but it's not the same as that, people who sacrifice things when they shouldn't, purely for someone else?  I've nothing left to sacrifice... nothing to lose," Perish said a little vacantly in thought.
People willing to die for others... the concept was... almost familiar, it was the ultimate sacrifice, but a mercy in comparison to what Perish was now, she'd truly paid the ultimate sacrifice.  Ironically she was willing to die for others, but obviously unable to properly fulfil the concept, she could jump in front of arrows and stand between a fighter and a victim, offer up every morsel of food and drop of water she could ever possess, to all other people that would class as dying for someone.
It never worked for Perish.

"Do I want to cast off my misery?" Perish wondered aloud, as if not sure any more, "Haven't I fallen far enough to be beyond redemption?  Darkness has become my home, no matter how much I may enjoy the light."
"I'm a stranger to myself, I don't even know my real name, these memories are so patchy and different they don't even seem to be mine sometimes," Perish said, bowing her head a little in mourning, "I don't know who I am, or what I truly want.  I'm not supposed to know, I was just supposed to kill that rider..."
It was like even now she still had this urge to kill someone she had personally grinded from existence by dragging them across the entire country several times, they wore away to nothing eventually.
A grisly fate but one justly deserved in Perish's opinion, it was only slightly worse than what he had done to her husband, she only wished the rider could have been alive for longer, to feel the torture of his body slowing being ground away.

The memories of her husband came back to her once more, she had managed to come to terms with losing him, but the fate was so tragic it never failed to sadden her.  It was then she remembered she wasn't wearing her armour, her left hand was exposed and she could see the tarnished silver ring on her ring finger, it was just a simple band of silver, quite generous considering the humble earnings of a farmer.

[Anonymous]

Tales were an interesting sort. They could make you think and over think, which would end up being a problem for sure. Songs could do the same thing, but there was just something about a song that seemed much more natural. A person who heard a song was usually a lot more entertained than hearing a story. Still he had to do something, he had to tell her a story to make her think. Whether the story would make her over think or critically analyze was a mystery. He could gather that her mind was very...logical in a way, the way she spoke and was confused about things, the term simple could be used, but not in a country bumpkin type of way. She didn't understand the living, she didn't understand how some things worked, because they didn't work that way for her. They never had, and so it was no doubt very hard for her to imagine things outside of her boundaries. That was for now though, he had plans to help her release that burden.

"That only means that you have everything to gain. You have your mind to lose, you have your will, you have your consciousness, you have your body, you still haven't lost it all Perish...you just don't realize what you have, and what you can get." If she had nothing else to lose, she wouldn't be here. That however was not the case. She was here, and it meant that she had things that she could still lose. He however wouldn't let her lose these things, he'd help her to gain things, to regain things, to make sure that she had a life once more. It was a terrible fate that she had, but it didn't mean that she was sealed in it. After all, she hadn't been sealed in that armour, which meant that she could freed! That was a happy thought if anything really.

"No one is really beyond redemption, and no one is ever cast truly from the light." He told her softly as he thought about it. Redemption. It wasn't easy, and redemption could take years really. However, she simply needed to get away from the darkness, away from it all, and she would be safe. "Well, I know that the girl I'm holding right now is Perish. She's confused, and perhaps a little scared by recent events, but she doesn't seem to like her current life and wants to change it. After all, you wanted to be held." There was no denying that part now. She really had wanted to feel his warmth, and something told him his touch as well. "Keep this in mind, yesterday I was a cat, this morning I had been an eagle, the afternoon I was a duck, and a Gryphon...what I would like to say is that you have to make your identity feel right. You have to find yourself, what you are, what you want to be. We'll find what you are, we'll find that identity, when you can look in the mirror and say the name Perish and feel that the woman staring back at you is her." Ode wanted her to know who she was, and this was coming from a man who had an identity crisis whenever he turned into another form.

Despite such a technical detail, he was confident in her, and in her abilities to change. The hard part would be taking her from the darkness. His hand came up to gently stroke her hair, before he leaned down and placed a tender kiss upon her cheek. "Just you wait Perish, life is going to get strange for you, but I promise you that it's gonna shine the light on you."

[Anonymous]

Perish was no longer sure what to do now, constantly reassured by Ode that she would be saved eventually, she would come back to life so to speak.  She didn't know if she wanted to step out of the darkness, for once she was actually frightened of something.
Frightened of change.
Her body was timeless, her mind was timeless, anything and everything that happened to her quickly un-happened and put her back into where she always was and always would be.  She was familiar with the darkness, wreathed in its energy, comforted in some way by not having to worry about many things, even if that fact disturbed her from being alienated from everyone else.
Did she really want to change?  Sure she enjoyed the light, it was warm and happy, it held an unexplainable purpose and a good reason to live, yet, it made no sense and wasn't predictable, it wasn't as simple as she was used to.

She could actually be trying to change, as well as Ode attempting to change her, it might speed up the process, but then there was the ever-present issue of willpower and if she wanted to change.
Her lack of attempting to help may mean something, but it could also mean she just didn't care enough, which was quite possible in her case.

"I would have thought after 30 years I might have gained something by now.  All I have left is whatever I can gain from others, like some kind of leech," Perish said, her current situation was a prime example, she didn't want Ode or herself to move a muscle, the heat coming in was very nice.  Of course she probably would never ask it of Ode to hold still so she could warm up by leeching his heat.

"How can the light accept me back after all I've done?  I literally threw it away, I threw away my old self, just like the light she had," Perish queried, "It's a steep price, but I'd pay it again."
Vengeance blinded her, right from wrong, good from bad, once morals went down the drain everything sort of just followed until you weren't left with anything.

She'd been idly musing, still staring at the fire almost mindlessly, when she suddenly felt a warm pair of lips press lightly against her cheek, it was a bit delayed, but her eyes widened and she jumped a little in surprise, reaching up a hand to touch her cheek.
A kiss... never before...
"I... I felt that..." Perish said a little awkwardly, turning slightly to put Ode's face in the corner of her vision.  That hadn't happened before, she didn't usually feel things, not like that anyway.
It made her uncomfortable and curious at the same time, what exactly had changed?  Her body temperature?  She had no idea, guessing seemed rather pointless right now, so she just accepted it for what it was for the time being.

[Anonymous]

"Actually, I'd say you were more of like...hm...not a parasite, but...I'd say that you're not a leech." He couldn't think of the correct term...but he wanted to hold her, he wanted to embrace her after all, and she liked the heat. Both of them got something out of this. Yes...that was the wa to put it. "See...if you use us as an example, we both get something out of this entire thing. You get to experience life in a new way, and I get to sing, tell stories, and generally get to show you a different side of life that you didn't know about." It was like...he couldn't place the word, he really couldn't, but it was mutually beneficial. Yes, that would do as a nice description actually! Mutually beneficial.

"it's forgivable. You threw it away because in the light you couldn't get what you wanted. You had to resort to the darkness because it offered more, but the light always welcomes those back who want to come back." The light was forgiving, you just had to be forgiving as well. You had to want redemption and forgiveness, then you could take that first step forward into the light and into a new world.

It would figure, that the thing she felt was a kiss. He hadn't even meant it as something deeper, but it was more of a reassuring gesture. Like you'd kiss a child who was upset they had lost their favourite toy, and you were promising to get it back. He hadn't meant it to be anything...deeper than that really, at least...he didn't think so.

Her sudden jump was startling to say the least, though it should have been expected all things considered. After all, she wasn't expecting to get kissed, she just got...really surprised obviously.

"Felt it...how?" He had to be careful with his next words for sure. "Do you mean you felt the contact, like the warmth of my lips or...you felt emotions connected to it?" They had to just be careful, he didn't want to rush her into any of this, and he certainly didn't want to get into anything...heavy up here in the mountains. No, anything deeper was a bad thing at this particular time, until they got down into the cities of Serendipity. Yeah...that's what was safer, and probably smarter. There was no telling what reactions she might have after all.

This would be good and bad perhaps at the same time.

It all depended on she meant it.

[Anonymous]

She couldn't think of a better term for her existence right now, she lived only to feed off what others would give, it sounded parasitic enough and it was quite accurate.  At the moment she just wanted to be warm and listen to Ode sing and talk, it made her feel better about her existence in some ways which was all she really existed for, all she really ever did to stop herself from just remaining inanimate for eternity.

Why the light would accept her back was lost on her, she'd thrown it aside for power, quite a despicable thing to and rather unforgiveable, these were the consequences she had to live with, it was what she paid to gain her revenge.
Just going to join the light to avoid her debt to the darkness?  It seemed cowardly in some way, but then again she was barely familiar with the concept of cowardice anyway.

"Um... I'm not sure, I just felt it, normally I wouldn't have... That makes no sense..." Perish said, a little lost all of a sudden.  Something had changed clearly, it made her worried, frightened maybe, she definitely wasn't sure whether or not she wanted anything to change yet to let either decision happen, especially like this.
She remained silent for a moment in worried contemplation, a little unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Ode was a strong believer that everyone could get redemption. It was available for everyone, but only if they wanted it, if they truly wanted to have it. If they didn't want it however, or they couldn't see that they could have it, they wouldn't get it. Redemption was a fickle thing, and it was a very...very powerful thing. Whether or not it would truly soothe Perish's dark thoughts would yet to be seen however. He just had to make her understand that if she wanted redemption, she could have it, she could step back into the light and turn away from the darkness.

It was the bard in him again, the part of him that had such old stories of redemption and tales of the light conquering over the darkness. That's what people wanted to hear. They never wanted tales or songs where the bad guy won, where the hero's quest was for nothing and in the end there was only darkness.

No, those were not stories.

"It could be all the heat...I mean...when people are cold, they lose feeling in their limbs...maybe now that you're warming up you're starting to get some feeling back!" That made sense to him, he could understand that sort of thing. It made sense, she was so cold, but now here they both were, huddled together in a warm embrace, a cheery fire burning near them, giving them more heat.

Yeah, that must have been it!

"What about this?" He leaned in closer to her, pressing his nose to the side of her neck. He knew a girl who was rather ticklish near her neck. It had been a rather amusing experience really, she had giggled so cutely too. Though, she had also said it was very pleasurable...so he wondered if Perish might feel something as well. He honestly hoped she just felt something really, and that it was just heat that was warming her up. Then again, she had such a beautiful neck he wouldn't mind kissing it either.

[Anonymous]

Most of her life she'd wondered why she couldn't feel things so well, pain or anything, it was handy in some ways as she couldn't be writhing about in agony whilst trying to kill someone now could she?
Somehow... being numb was comforting... not having to worry about getting hurt or anything, thoughts like those make her decisions very hard, while she did enjoy life to some extent, undeath had a lot of aspects about it that she preferred.
Maybe that was why she had never been able to resume her life, the simple fact that there was a lot about undeath that was more comforting, and the sorrow and depression got easier to cope with over time so not even that seemed so bad.

"Hmm, it sounds logical... but when someone tried to burn me to death I didn't feel much, so I'm not sure how that logic works..." Perish said with a small frown, trying to work it out though there wasn't a lot of sense to it if it only worked with body heat from the living.

She issued a very short laugh at Ode nuzzling into her neck, it felt funny in a way, though still somewhat dulled it tickled a little and sent the involuntary surge to her lungs to want to laugh, and didn't quite work as good as it would.
"Yeah I felt that too," Perish replied, as if her wordless response wasn't indication enough.

[Anonymous]

"Maybe it's...I'm not sure. Maybe it has to be from a person...like...there's something spiritual involved?" He hoped it was something like that, that it was at least ah...well that it at least had some sense to it. However if it wasn't just because she was warm then what the heck could it be? Still, he wasn't going to be one that argued, she was actually starting to feel some semblance of emotion, of feeling...it was rather...nice to know that she could feel these things once more.

He actually heard her laugh as he brought his nose to her neck. It wasn't a very long laugh, but it was a laugh, and he wasn't sure she knew to fake it either. He hadn't told her that it'd be ticklish either, so this was a genuine emotion!

He felt excited about this. And once more...the bard in him was speaking. She could feel emotion when in the embrace of a warm body, of a person, of someone who wanted to hold her, to warm her, to share the essence and heat of life with her. Oh that would be a romantic song that he could make from that, and he would....yes he would.

"That's good...that's...really good." Gently he kissed her neck, his teeth grazing on her skin as sensually as he could manage. She'd either feel a bit of pleasure, or some pain, and he hoped it was the pleasure part. He didn't much like the idea of her thinking that he was attacking her, and that she should defend herself. He was, after all, not the best fighter, and he had seen her do a lot of damage to people. He also didn't have her ability to pull blood back into his body.

Oh how he hoped for pleasure.

[Anonymous]

Spiritual sounded like a bizarre concept, Perish didn't think there was enough spirit in her for there to be anything of that sort, unless of course she was truly leeching more than warmth from Ode.
It was quite possible, she guessed, no other time had she ever been able to feel something, burning in flames or frozen in the ice, acidic stomach of a creature or the tremendous impact of falling off a cliff, it had never felt like that.

She was intrigued but also disturbed, that perhaps she was some form of vampire, leeching the lifeforce out of people through contact or something, while sounding absurd it did have some merit to the idea.  Necromancers tended to dabble in all those things, undeath, vampirism, bone magic, blood magic, dark rituals and such, it would make sense in some way but it just didn't seem to fit, Ode seemed perfectly comfortable letting her steal his warmth.

Laughing was... a nice experience to say the least, for a brief moment her mind stopped thinking about the tragedies that had befallen her and about the happier moments she could remember from her travels, defending people and such.
It was almost enlightening, except her nature tended not to let happiness live long, being happy meant something had changed, and change could be... difficult, after 30 years of 100% exactly the same thing.

She could feel something, it brought back some pretty harsh memories and her eyes widened when she realised what it was:  She could feel teeth.
It wasn't so much Ode's fault as it was his misfortune, it wasn't like he could have guessed Perish had almost been eaten by something, and while her pain sensing nerves were quite dull, having a piece taken out definitely classed as painful for her, not to mention disturbing.
Perish jerked her shoulders back and slammed her elbows behind her as she launched forwards out of the embrace, barely missing the fire as she skittered away, rolling into a crouch facing Ode warily, one hand supported by her fingers supporting her.  Blood could be seen running down her fingers and webbing out across the cave floor into a small ritual circle around her hand.

Her body slowed down a bit as her mind tried to catch up, she remembered Ode hadn't tried to hurt her before, was trying to help, it mustn't have been an attack, was it?
She was a little confused, one part of her said to relax, the other part was screaming kill, the memories of both Ode and that creature that had almost completely eaten her hovered in her mind, the conflict of thoughts was surprisingly painful, and it interrupted her ritual for the moment.
What was she supposed to do now?  She'd never hesitated to kill anyone before, once her instincts told her to, that was it.

[Anonymous]

((I should have kept my mouth shut! I knew after posting that this would go wrong xDD))

Ode had been around lots of strange people before, and while Perish was really a different one from the normal, he had been in the company of vampires before. He would admit, there was an aspect of vampires that just held a certain strange allure. Then again, he was never against a little nibble on his neck. They could drink his...well, it was like blood, not the usual kind of blood, but he had been told it was delicious.

Whether that swarthy man had just been complimenting him, Ode would never know.

But he could have suspicions.

His only hope was that like him, Perish had no objections to his newest ministration. He was mistaken however, and he could not have ever guessed her reaction would be this...this violent, this severe. He let out his breath as she pushed off of him suddenly, shoving him roughly against the rock wall. His head smashed back from the sudden movement, hitting against the back wall. A trail of strange translucent blood was left behind as he slumped somewhat, his eyes seeing stars for a few seconds.

He had to hold the back of his head and close one eye, seeing doubles as he looked toward Perish. What was going on? He could see her...doing something. He had to squint to see it was blood running off her fingers. It was red blood...somewhat...it wasn't his blood. What...what was she doing....

Ode stayed against the wall, his other hand moving to the wall as he tried to slowly stand up. "P-perish...what...what's the matter...did...did that hurt?" He was very confused, and his head was still a little dizzy. She looked...she looked...oh god he'd seen that look before. Not in her, but...that was a look that spelt death usually.

"Calm d-down Perish...it's me...it's Ode...remember? Warmth? Music? Stories? I...I just thought y-you would uh...you would have liked t-that...I didn't...mean to upset you." This was a tense moment and Ode really wished he could think properly, and he could see properly. Still, that look on her face...if she came at him...it would be prudent to become something small, fast, and agile. Some sort of winter fox came to mind. That would probably be for the best.

[Anonymous]

Perish frowned a little in confusion as she tried to string one thought onto the next, there was a distinctive feeling of energy built up around the hand that sat upon the elaborate symbol written in blood.
She was on the verge of summoning one of those devilish swords, but she kept hesitating and interrupting herself as her thoughts kept bouncing around in her mind.
It was annoying, to say the least, as there were a lot of reasons she wanted to summon the sword, but there was part of her standing in the way, if she had the sword she might find it harder to disobey her instinct to kill.

She brought her other hand up to her neck where she had felt it, feeling about and finding no damage, only soft, flawless flesh that was becoming cold again rather quickly.
"Teeth..." Perish murmured, resolving to falling backwards onto her backside as she though, leaving the little sign of blood on the floor for the moment as her thoughts collided once more.
"Nothing ever truly hurts... not even dying... but it doesn't make it any easier to cope with."

"I... was nearly eaten alive once..." Perish said, as if trying to explain in some abstract way, "It ate my arm so I managed to summon my sword inside its stomach and it bled to death internally, but it nearly ate me entirely..."
She was glancing at the blood on the ground periodically as if having second thoughts, she'd never truly stopped herself from killing anyone before, but she guessed Ode hadn't quite attacked her, it had only triggered her reaction upon the memory.
And now she had damaged Ode, he didn't look too good all of a sudden, it made her a little sad that she had just damaged him without reason, she truly wasn't helping, so what exactly was she doing around Ode?

[Anonymous]

"T-teeth?" He squinted slightly as she started to talk again, falling backwards into a sitting position. Even after having injured his head, he still wanted to just go hug her. "No, I suppose that it wouldn't." Ode agreed with her, though not sure what else to say. He wasn't sure what was really going on in her mind, but she started to speak again.

"So it was a reaction...caused by a linked memory..." Well, that made a lot of sense to him. It wasn't that it didn't feel bad, or pleasurable, but the emotion of fear, of having almost been eaten had been too strong. A traumatic event could be a dangerous one to the psyche, more so to a psyche like hers. He felt really bad for her, but at the same time he hadn't blamed her for hitting his head against the wall.

It had been his fault, he had to be so bold, he had to just try to nibble at her, it really was just as much as his fault as it was hers. Ode was also good natured so he didn't often blame people or get mad at them. He'd had his fair share of people angry with him so he found it best not to hold a grudge or anger.

He could feel his wound slowly healing over and he smiled to himself. No permanent harm done...he counted to ten in his mind and recited the alphabet. Yes, things seemed like they were all still there. Slowly he walked over to Perish, very careful as he let himself down to sitting beside her. "I'm really sorry Perish I didn't...know that you had a traumatic experience and...I probably should have asked before just...diving right into it." There was the part of him that told him that if she had liked it, it wouldn't have mattered. However, she very much seemed affected by it so it was best to apologize. He really wished it had been the completely opposite reaction but...this was all good stuff to know.

"You ah...still want to share my warmth?"

[Anonymous]

Such an overpowering urge, she really, really wanted to kill whatever was trying to eat her, and that part of her wasn't exactly listening right now because she was sure Ode wasn't trying to eat her.
She had felt teeth however, and that fact was pretty hard to avoid, her mind was having a fit over that fact as she remembered teeth ripping her into pieces slowly, most people would have mercifully died long before half their body was eaten, Perish wasn't so lucky, and it was quite traumatising.

Perish shook a little as Ode came over to sit beside her once more, now that he was within arm's reach it was a lot harder to keep the self-defence thoughts out, she watched him warily, part of her was waiting for him to attack, the other wasn't waiting for anything.

The memory surged in her mind and compelled a reaction, she ripped at the energy gathered on the blood rune and black mist rapidly issued out of the ground and formed into the rough shape of her normal sword, and then there was a metallic clang as the blade hit the ground, the mist sucked into it.
She just stared at the blade for a moment, her hand trembled a little as she prevented herself from picking up right now, in this frame of mind.

"I've had 30 years to experience the world, 10 years worth everyone spent sleeping where I didn't, I've had ample time to gain some experiences," Perish said, "I don't suppose you would have guessed, it's not like people can have traumatic experiences of being almost entirely consumed by something, and still live, so to speak.  You'd have to be pretty clever to know to ask if anything is attached to a traumatic memory, because if you were just going to ask if you were allowed, don't bother, I don't care what you do."
As long as it doesn't hurt, would be what she would have added, but she figured that was pretty apparent right now.
Ode hadn't really done anything wrong, which was upsetting her because there was still a part of her vainly wanting to reach for the sword.

The question certainly brought up a lot of mixed feelings, she had just hurt Ode, even wanting to kill him now, and she really wanted some warmth, quite the dilemma.
But her natural sense kicked in, the thing she relied on more than anything to get her through this life.
"Yes, I want to share your warmth but I don't want to hurt you," Perish said, shuffling away, eyes still glancing at the sword every so often, "I've done nothing but cause you trouble, it would be selfish and dangerous for me to stay..."

[Anonymous]

Ode was going to be a cautious fellow now. Perish had summoned the sword again, and while he didn't really like that..he would have to deal. They could always leave it behind again when they took off once more. However, for the time being, she still had it. He just had to make sure that he didn't...compel her to use it, that he didn't do anything like...nibble at her to make her want to stab him with it.

"Well...you do care what I do, and you should care. It's your body, and it your existence. I'd hate to take that away from you." The thought of taking advantage of her was absolutely horrifying to Ode. He didn't want to do anything to upset her, anything that wanted her to look at him as if he were an enemy. However he had, now she seemed....mad at him. She also seemed to have the inherent desire to kill him. Ode had never been a man afraid before, his situations and encounters with people had been that of a very tame nature. Sure sometimes people threw rocks or shot arrows his way, but...he had always run away, and he had always been able to get away.

Right now, he didn't want to leave Perish.

He didn't want to get out of her reach.

"Hurt me? Well...it didn't really hurt...stings a tiny bit but...I've had worse injuries." He was trying to play it off, be the big macho man and say that there wasn't any pain. Yeah, there was, but he was able to have both eyes open now and he didn't feel as dazed. She was still looking at that sword, and that would be a problem. A very big problem.

Slowly he got up and returned to the fire, choosing a different wall to sit beside it. He lowered himself down and smiled toward her. "Tell you what...I'm going to be over here. I want you to stay, and I would love to share my warmth with you. If you want to leave...I'll give you a ten minute head start, then I'll follow you. However if you want to stay...I'm right here, and my lap and warmth are both here to share with you. You have to make the decision of what you want to do. Because I bare no malice to you, it was really my fault that I injured my head. I should have known better but...sometimes with a beautiful girl I lose myself." Compliments, they always helped, and it was better when you were sincere. He didn't find any reason to really lie to Perish, so he kept laying on the truth.

"But...I really would like you to stay."

[Anonymous]

Was it some kind of addiction?  Perish couldn't stop thinking about reclaiming her sword, it felt like it was a part of her now as much as her armour was and she almost felt like she needed it.
Like a second skin and an arm?  An odd way of putting it but it was all too accurate considering Perish's habits and abilities, it wasn't uncommon for her to graft things to her body that truly were never supposed to be, though she hadn't gone so far as replacing her skin yet.

The weapon was like her purpose, and the armour was her being, it felt very awkward being out of both and she didn't realise how much she missed them until her sword was sitting not two feet from her.
But she couldn't pick it up yet, the memory was still too fresh, she might damage Ode even further and that was something she absolutely positively did not want to do.  Not unless he was actually intending to bite her, but she didn't usually leave things as guesses or assumptions considering she could survive finding out.

"You can't take anything more from me than what has already been taken, Ode, whatever you're afraid of damaging, it's not there," Perish said simply, her eyes were trying to act normal, gazing at the fire and at Ode and such, but they kept flitting back to the sword every few seconds like a nervous habit.

It was comforting in some way that Perish's actions hadn't effected Ode all that much, but the fact was she had still done them and they had still effected him, which meant it could happen again and it might not be so tame next time.
At the very least, he moved away so the temptation was a little easier to resist, it was like her comfort zone was entirely different to someone she was intending on killing, she didn't like him being within sword's reach and not acting.
But the other fact is, she had just before been enjoying his warm embrace, that soothing, painless heat that permeated her very body, threatening to reach her icy core.
It was very confusing for Perish, she wished she could stop thinking completely for a moment just so her mind would know peace, it was chaos behind those vivid red eyes.

"If I wasn't here you wouldn't have gotten injured, or be involved in this mess, clearly the fault is mine, which means I should leave you in peace before I damage you further," Perish said a little distantly as she thought.  It was very logical, made a lot of sense and she approved of that train of thought.
Yet she didn't move...
Now she was even more confused...

[Anonymous]

ODe only wanted to avoid being stabbed, but at the same time he didn't like how sad and lost in despair Perish was. He'd get willingly stabbed if he could bring her out of her funk. Then again, as touching a story it would be for him to sacrifice his life so she could feel again, he wasn't keen on the idea. It meant that he'd no longer be able to sing, to share his stories and tales, it would mean...well he'd be dead. As a creature more concerned with this life, he hadn't given much though to the next world, and he really didn't want to find out all that soon.

"Well, I'm afraid of hurting you, and you're here...so I would say that there is still something there to damage." Even if she didn't believe it, she could still get hurt, and she showed it. She was afraid, and she was scared, and that really was something that she didn't take into account. It made him worry, because now he knew that he could upset her, now he knew that she had strong feelings about some things.

There was a battle going on with her, anyone could see that. She still wanted to stab him, she still wanted to fight him...and that worried him slightly. He wondered what she was thinking...what was going on in her mind. It really did worry him, and he really was scared of what could happen but...there was still something he could probably do to help.

"I am in peace, with you here." He smiled slightly as he watched Perish, she spoke about leaving, but she didn't move. "And I'd like you to stay...how...how about this." He closed his eyes and focused. He was transforming again, but this time only his face was blurring. When it was done, there was no obvious change until he opened his mouth to show a change in his teeth. All of them had become flat and blunt. "Herbivore teeth. Now there's no chance of me eating you." He told her with a happy grin, showing off those strange teeth of his now.

"I know it isn't much but...I hope it's a start. You can always just sit on the other side of the fire though...but I'm still very much willing to share my warmth with you. And look!" He turned his body about to show her the back of his head, so she could see where he had previously injured himself. Nothing. "Healed! No harm done to me." Ode said as he twisted back to the right position, watching her carefully. "And I will never believe it was soley your fault...plus, I was in Connlaoth Perish, there was a very good chance that I'd have been killed already if I wasn't careful." He had a tendency to show off, and if he was to escape he'd try to do so using his ability to shape shift. That could possibly end in disaster if he came across a person skilled in hunting. He'd be a poor dead little birdy.