An unfortunate circumstance

[Anonymous]

Perish lowered her head into her hands as she tried to figure out what to do, she could hear the metal of her sword lightly grinding along the floor as the blood previously used to bring about its existence was now dragging it over to her.
She knew taking up the sword could be a bad thing, but there was enough of her that wanted the weapon, so she wasn't trying to stop herself, or attempt moving away.

"I've already lost everything, I'm all but dead," Perish mumbled, shaking a little, "Nothing to lose but what I can gain... I already feel cold again, but I don't want to hurt you again.  I don't like hurting people..."
An irony of her existence, able to kill yet not happy with hurting, maybe because she perhaps envied those she slayed, and pitied those who she only hurt?  She'd been hurt so much her mind was scarred beyond belief, death would be a pleasant release if she wasn't so unhappy with not being able to experience life.

She peered between her fingers as Ode spoke again, his teeth had changed, she smiled ever so slightly at his attempts, but the fact remained her instincts were still simmering in the background, and it only got worse when she felt the pommel of her sword bump against her foot.
Her right robotically went down and picked it up, the blood automatically flowing back inside her.
With sword in hand she felt rather comfortable, yet uncomfortable at the same time, she could now kill people but she didn't want to kill Ode, making it quite the dilemma.
"I... should leave... before I do something..." Perish said a little unstably, "I've never had any willpower, never stopped myself before."
Perhaps if she went and killed something her instincts would settle?  She'd just have to not think about Ode for awhile.

Perish pushed herself away towards the entrance for a moment before crawling, and then walking out, her sword arm trembling a little as she leaned against the entrance wall for a moment trying to gather herself to leave.

[Anonymous]

"You can gain heat, you can gain friends, you can gain a life still...it may not be a life that you may think but...we can get you it. One where you don't need to hurt people and fight them, where you don't need to summon armour and swords." Ode told her with a smile. He wanted to help her and get away from the...life...of death. That didn't come out the way he wanted it, and it meant that later he'd have to change it if he wrote a song or told the story. It would need to be touched up and all that sort of thing.

He'd have to get...Bardic on it.

He watched her as she picked her weapon back up. Sadly his change of teeth didn't appear to do anything for her. That was disappointing but...he could have expected as much really. She really wanted to go but...she didn't either.

Then she spoke aobut leaving...about not having any willpower. He had to do something. Ode knew if he let her leave, she'd kill something, and it would honestly be his fault. He couldn't have that on his conscience. It was a terrible thing to know was your fault that something died when he could have done something to avoid it. Ode would have to help her, he'd have to do anything in his power to stop her pain and her suffering. He didn't much like the idea of her having to go alone in this world, not when he could help.

"But you did..." Ode slowly stood up. She had stopped herself, she hadn't killed him. Everything seemed....to have been getting better. Ode couldn't let her just leave! He had to think of something! Anything! Without knowing it, he grabbed the lute strapped at his side and pulled it forward. "I found you in the dark alone and shivering...even in my touch I found you quivering. Beautiful pale woman full of sadness and sorrow, in to my chest you tried to burrow. Beautiful pale lady, you shed your armour and left your sword, and to you I swore my word. Away from all the darkness and into the light we would go, though it would be as if you were a newborn doe. I never meant to hurt you and stir such memories, I only wish you could fly with me upon the breeze. Letting go of all the worries and troubles, and fly with the eagles." Ode's fingers moved along the lute strings, strumming them softly. Even though it was cold, and the tune was a little off, he hoped she wouldn't notice.

He hoped that this song helped her to choose not to go...because he really didn't want her to go. He would chase after her, he would grab that sword of hers and throw it as far away as possible and...after that...he wasn't sure what to do.

His strumming came to an end as his song slowly came to one as well.

[Anonymous]

Where did Ode find this endless wellspring of hope?  Perish couldn't understand a thing, the only thing she had ever hoped for was for someone to follow, to help them and feel useful.  She didn't know how Ode could be so persistant when Perish all but given up already, long before Ode had come along.
Perish had had thirty years to work herself into this rut, not intentionally, it just happened because of what she was, was Ode really sure he could reverse that kind of effort?
In a way it felt good that he was at least trying, though she didn't really want him to waste his life on her, so her feelings were mixed.

But it was for the best, Ode would be able to continue his life and sing songs and tell stories, travel all over the world doing the thing he loved and lived for, he wouldn't be dead and he wouldn't be wasting time, it all made sense.
It all made sense until she heard a lute being played back in the cave.

The feelings that were stirred, music developed on the fly from raw emotions and experiences, but not only that, it was that the music was about her.  She was feeling emotions that she herself should have felt before, it was amazing and overwhelming at the same time, her eyes widened and her body shook a little with the emotional assault her deadened mind.
Her eyes unfocused as her thoughts went wild, the compulsion to stay now just tripled, she became short of breath as her mind fought itself and the emotions permeated her being.

Perish's sword arm shook violently, she wanted to stay for two reasons but she wanted to leave because of one of those reasons, but the music... she... she wanted to stay.  They weren't just the emotions of some fantasy person that Ode had met in his travels, they were hers, and she couldn't cope with them.
She went to turn back toward Ode, part of her fully intending to stay, but she stopped half way.  She was going to kill Ode!
Her body shook so much that her legs gave out, letting her collapsed to the ground, leaning on the sword heavily.  This was too hard... she could feel her eyes slowly getting moist as her mind waged a titanic war on itself.

"I...I...I-I... m-must... leave...." Perish murmured unstably, the moisture slowly shed from her eyes down her cheeks, as she attempted to drag herself further out of the cave, falling off her sword and collapsing to the ground painfully, one hand still in a vice grip around the hilt, the other clawing her closer to the outside.

[Anonymous]

Ode didn't honestly know how he kept himself so positive, how he had so much hope. All he knew was that he wanted to help, that he could help her, he just had to...find the right way to reach her. He wasn't sure what he could do, but he had all the hope in the world. It had to do with being a bard perhaps, he had all the romantic hope in the world after all, so perhaps he was just falling back on his stories and songs. They were inspiring him to help. He wouldn't deny that his motives perhaps were also a little bit...well...more personal as well...but there was so much here.

So much that could be done.

So much that could be gained.

It seemed like the lute had done something to her. It had changed her mind intensely and yet she still slowly made her way forward. Her arm shook however, as if she didn't want to clutch at that violent sword anymore. She even started to turn back but then...something changed. He could feel it. Ode let the lute to fall to the ground noisily. It probably broke something but he couldn't care, it was Perish that he was worried about.

Something was going on with the woman, and he was scared. At this point, he didn't even care if she attacked him, if she tried to hurt him. "You don't have to leave!" Ode told her as he ran after her, jumping through the fire and landing on the other side easily. He dashed toward her and slowly came to a  stop where she was. She had fallen to the ground, crawling with her hand toward the cave entrance. He couldn't just leave her to go outside! They had come so far, and they had made progress! Very good progress for that matter! He couldn't let her to do this! She may still have that sword but...was she willing to use it on him?

He didn't know, or care at this point.

"I don't want you to leave Perish." Ode said as he walked around to her front and knelt in front of her. His hand went down to her sword hand, his fingers gently upon her fist. His other hand went down to her to help her up onto her knees. "You don't have to go Perish...You can stay with me...but...the sword has to go. I won't ever hurt you, I won't...ever go beyond my boundaries again." Easing her into a different life would be delicate, it would need to be slow...and it would be difficult. However, he was used to all those things!

"It's me, Ode. Remember? I helped kill that guy who was attacking you? I became a duck and a nightingale...and I got us away from those archers...if I had wanted to attack you, wouldn't I just leave you with them? I'm not your enemy Perish, I never ever will be. I'm that lovable friendly bard. If you leave, you'll probably never get to hear my stories or my songs. We both don't want that, right?" His tone may have been soft and gentle, but it had a note of panic and nervousness to it. What if she pushed by him, what if she left, what if she stabbed him? None of these were what he wanted to have happen. He wanted her to stay with him and enjoy life.

To get away from her darkness.

He really...wanted to help her.

[Anonymous]

So many things going on inside her head, she couldn't even think about anything else, whether to stay, whether to run, Perish truly couldn't get her mind passed it.
She wanted to hear the music again, to hear stories and feel warm, she wanted to let Ode live, not kill him over some instinct that had been infused into her, what the hell was she supposed to do now?
It was like she was clawing her way against her nature, as if trying to reach the freedom of the outside of the cave, but she wasn't getting any closer, she couldn't quite reach it...

She didn't have to leave?  Of course she didn't, but she had to.  It made no sense and it made a lot of sense at the same time, binary opposite ideas attempting to coexist in the same mind, but it was rejecting it on such a grand scale.  How was she supposed to perfectly comprehend two opposite things?  It was a painful battle in her head.

Perish was concentrating so hard on the outside world, she jumped a little when she felt a hand lay onto her fist, and then another slip around her to lift her up onto her knees.
Ode was trying to help again, he was right there... just... out... of view... Perish tried not to look but it was inevitable, she shook even worse when she saw his face.
The instinct wouldn't die down, it's like it didn't even care what Perish thought, ignorant of reason, all it cared about was death.
Perish's tear-stained eyes widened a little in fear and desperation, she began pushing away from him.
"N..N-n-no! G-get away!" Perish said frantically, completely pushing away and throwing herself to the floor again, madly scrambling as she crawled away, scuffling to her feet and attempting to run out of the cave.
She couldn't lose her sword, she wouldn't let go of it, is was like a part of her identity that she didn't want to lose, not now anyway.

It was mainly the fact that she did remember Ode that was causing so much distress, if she didn't she probably would have tried to kill him already.  She didn't want to kill him, but it was getting harder to resist, and at the same time she was fighting harder to resist it anyway, Ode just kept talking and it kept escalating the conflict in her mind until it was unbearable.

Perish nearly fell over as she halted in her tracks just as she left the cave, pivoting on the spot and facing Ode again, head slightly tilted down yet she could see him, her knuckles were, if possible, going whiter from holding tightly to the sword.
She viciously slashed with the sword, even though she was several feet away from actually threatening Ode with it, but it was like one half of her had control and the other didn't, preventing her from moving.
She'd lived a life of sorrow and mourning, swimming in a sea of darkness with the occasional glimmer of light, she could taste life every so often which was what kept her going most of the time.
To be warm... to feel... it was the greatest dose of light she'd had since becoming like this, she wanted it so badly it ridiculous, but she also didn't want to kill Ode just as much.  It hurt so much, the battle in her mind, like the torment and ironies of her life had suddenly reached a critical mass, she just wanted it to end.

The sword sliced through the air uselessly a few more times, a few very small and strained steps went to move Perish back towards Ode but she wasn't going very far.
She wanted it to end.... she saw her sword, saw Ode, her eyes suddenly became moist again with unshed tears, her sword arm shook and steadied until it stopped, outstretched and ready, yet unmoving.
Within the blink of an eye the sword travelled back to Perish, its tip exploded through her lower torso as its jagged edge tore in, the sword fully impaling her before all her muscles relaxed and she just fell backwards, crashing to the ground rather lifelessly once more.

And finally, she stopped thinking, the instinct died down, and all she could see were the stars, her mind blissfully free of conflict and thought.  Her grip on her sword hilt loosened and her hand fell to her side, nothing of her moved, she didn't breathe, and she was cold as ice, for all intensive purposes one could guess she was dead.
Not like that was true though, she'd had far worse than a jagged sword through her stomach.

[Anonymous]

She didn't want help. It was terrible really, but at the same time it was understandable. Ode really wanted to figure a way to get her away from the darkness, from all this terrible pain and this horrible life. Ode really did hoped that he could do something for her, that he could somehow figure out a way to get her from her strange life. It wouldn't be easy, that was a given, but he could handle it. There were tons of story of redemption, of people being dragged from the precipice of darkness and sorrow.

He was pushed away from her however, sent backward slightly onto his rear. He watched her with a raised eyebrow, wondering just what was going on in her mind. Was she...did she want to kill him more? She was having some difficulty, she was having some strange conflict. How he wished that he had the ability to...read...minds. He did though. He never even thought about it. He could only read the briefest of thoughts, and even then, it took so much concentration. No...he wasn't even sure he could. It was best not to try...just in case he had to defend himself.

Last time he had read thoughts he ended up going into a three day sleep.

Ode followed after her as she ran from the cave, fully prepared to turn himself into something big to grab her and bring her back with him. He knew it'd be wrong, but then again, he wasn't even sure she'd know if it was wrong. Ode stopped when she did though, the sword outstretched at him. He was rather...scared at that. She started to slash and attack him, he was rather worried that she would come at him. However, she stayed there, attacking the air constantly toward him. Ode had no idea just what she was doing though, she just seemed to be attacking....never really moving. However Perish was starting to do something different, she was... moving away from her.

He stepped forward after her in natural response.

That's when it happened.

The sword suddenly flew backward and stabbed into Perish's stomach. There was a sudden rush of thoughts that passed through Ode's mind. The first was that the gesture was futile because she was invulnerable to these sorts of things. However, the second, more horrifying thought was that what if it was her own blade that could kill her. There was the thought that she could die by her own hand, or in this case her own sword. Ode suddenly rushed toward her as she slumped downward to the ground. He was quick to reach her, jumping to the snowy ground and cradling her in his lap. She was dead, or at least...maybe she was...even more dead? He quickly removed his shirt and put it around the sword blade and her wound. "Come on Perish, you can't just die. You can't just give up like this." Suicide. She had committed suicide!

Because of him none the less.

There was the very thought that it had been all because of him that she had killed herself. It had been fault. Gods above what had he done? He was...responsible for this. For some reason, killing that man back in the valley hadn't done this to his conscience but...she was...she hadn't.

He could feel something in the corner of his eyes. Tears? He couldn't remember the last time he had cried. He had only met her a few years ago. He didn't think it was love, but...this had been all his fault. He could have just left her alone, but instead he had forced himself into her existence and she was now dead because of him. "Wake up Perish...come on...I'm sorry..." The tears didn't flow, but his voice had a quiver of sadness in it.

A tragic end, something that only a bard could sing about, and yet...he hadn't imagined any sort of end like this. It COULDN'T end like this.

Ode was used to being in control. He could control his body, he could make himself into anything, he could control emotions of others were songs and tales, he could touch their lives so easily...and yet...this time he was not in control. He wasn't even close to being in control. It had been taken from him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

The feeling of being helpless was not a very pleasant one.

[Anonymous]

An ever twinging, nagging of pain, faint and annoying, from the rather messy and large wound in her stomach that her own sword had torn open.  Was it some kind of final revelation to her condition?  Had all these other times where she would have died, had she just denied them to feel alive?
Now that she'd done it herself, there could be no illusions about it, she was undeath personified, a perversion of the nature cycle of life and death, just out of reach of the mercy of either side.

It hadn't hurt as much as she'd thought, 'dying', that was, somehow she thought it would be the worst thing, unimaginably painful.
Her instincts felt a little... funny... after doing that, how exactly was she supposed to respond to attacking herself?  It'd be an infinite loop and a paradox all in the same, thus it must have been broken for the time being, until such time she forgot this happened.
At the very least, she didn't want to kill anything now.

She felt herself get lifted up a little, and then she felt warmth, her view of the sky was slightly obscured by a familiar face.  Ode, still trying to help, Perish almost wanted to laugh hopelessly, except she was rather void of everything at the moment, the conflict in her mind seemed to had broken her for the time being.
The damage wouldn't last long, no change ever lasted long with Perish, it was both a depressing and reassuring fact, as there wasn't much point in doing anything if it wasn't going to achieve anything, but at the same time at least you didn't have to worry about consequences so much.

Give up...? Had she given up...?  She couldn't really feel anything, nor could she really think, it was like a period of silence in her mind, the closest thing she could come to peace, or perhaps death.
But no, she didn't think she had given up, though she had no idea why she hadn't already, it had been thirty years with no results, why did she persist?  It didn't make sense.
Heck it didn't even seem like it was possible for her to give up at this point, she'd just impaled herself and she was still conscious.

Her eyes slowly refocused and she saw Ode's face properly, and she inwardly sunk a little when she saw how sad she had made him.  She hated making other people sad, it made her feel her life was useless and unhelpful.
"...Sorry..." Perish said quietly, her expression going a little sad at what she had done to Ode, "I made you sad..."
She didn't really comprehend exactly what Ode appeared to be going through, as much as she might have wanted to, he seemed to take her apparent suicide a little harshly.

Perish didn't really feel like moving, she didn't really feel like anything right now as she was still a little vacant from the emotional trauma, though perhaps that wasn't true, she still could feel the heat Ode generated.
At least she didn't have to worry about running away or fighting herself now.

[Anonymous]

So many things raced through his mind, so many problems, so many emotions. He couldn't understand himself, he didn't...feel this way. It was hopelessness, it was being not in control, it was the feeling that despite all he had tried to do, he had still failed. There were so many things...so many bad things...but then...then he heard something. It was very quiet, and he would have missed it if he hadn't been so close.

'Sorry.'

In his confusion he looked downward at Perish, and she even looked sad. 'I made you sad...' Ode couldn't help but let his anguish change into relief, into happiness. She wasn't dead. She hadn't killed herself. It had been stupid to think that her own sword could have killed her. Still he had thought that she had. It would have been a tale that ended in a tragic end instead of a happy one. He didn't like tragic ends...they made for a great story for others to go through, but not for him.

Bad things of this calibre weren't supposed to happen to him.

"It's...it's quite okay Perish...you had me scared for a moment there..." He told her as he checked her wound and noticed that...well there wasn't any blood splattered on his shirt that he had placed around the sword and wound. It still didn't look very appealing, this big piece of metal sticking out of her like that.

Ode wondered if it would be alright to take out...he decided not even to ask. He pulled the sword from her stomach and inspected it. The blood was already going back to her. Once it was completely gone he held the weapon in both hands. This sword. He wasn't sure why he felt angry at the sword but clutching the hilt he stood up and looked down the mountain side. With a little spin he got some momentum going and hurled it as far as he could downhill, letting go of a frustrated scream at the same time.

It was a reminder of her Darkness. That no matter how much he tried to bring her into the light, she still found the darkness to go into. He wanted her away from war and death, from having to kill people. He lived a life of simplicity, one where the dagger on his belt was used for cutting up food or carving a name into a tree. He liked that his dagger wasn't used for evil, that it wasn't used to kill people or hurt people.

It was just a tool.

Ode returned to Perish, slowly picking her up. He wouldn't admit that having removed his shirt made it all the more colder out here, but he had thought she was dying. "Come on Perish...let's go back inside the cave." His voice was quiet, he was hiding his emotions again. He wasn't even sure what they were at this point. Anger, sorrow, and relief were among the top three though. Ode went straight back to his spot near the fire, which had died down a little bit.

Settling back down, with Perish still in his arms he sighed to himself. All this time he could have just made a big warm coat. A large fur coat to wrap them both in. He hadn't even though about it. He closed his eyes, his entire form suddenly blurring out of existence. He had the teeth after all, and he changed them back to normal. When Ode reappeared though, he was wearing an extravagant white fur coat, and his shirt had reappeared on him. The coat was definitely big enough for both of them, as he demonstrated by wrapping about the two of them. Now he was really heating up! He was quite glad with that particular development, but now he felt drained again. They'd have to stay a bit longer.

Ode didn't mind though.

He wasn't sure if Perish would mind either.

((If you had something more planned with the sword and such, I can always rewrite it. I hope you don't mind >_>;))

[Anonymous]

The fact that she considered the nasty sword impaled in her stomach more felt funny than painful was rather amusing in some ways, totally ignoring it like a scratch.  It was pretty hard to wound Perish enough that she'd actually care.

Ode was reasurring her again, trying to make her mistake a little less significant than it was.  But it was blaring in her face quite plainly, first she'd hurt Ode, then felt so strongly about killing him, and now she finally made him sad, by hurting herself no less.
Making him sad stupidly felt worse than actually wanting to kill him, in a way it made sense to her since death was cheapened in her case.  Though most people were usually happy to see Perish get hurt, destroying the evil abomination and such, seemed the opposite with Ode.
Why did he care? Perish sure as heck didn't, and since she didn't she couldn't understand it.

Perish watched Ode a little vacantly as he pulled her sword from her, a few twinges of pain and a very giddy feeling passed over her as the distorted edge was pulled out, it took a little effort to ensure some of her insides didn't go with it, but the blade ended up coming out clean as before.
She was a little curious what he was doing with her sword, looking at it strangely, when quite suddenly he sent it flying out into the night sky, the moonlight reflected off its surface a little as it tossed about in the air before finally disappearing from sight.
Inwardly, Perish despaired, her right hand twitched a little, she had lost her sword again, the tool that allowed her to perform her duties, her reason to live.  Again.
She wanted to run after it but she felt so lifeless, just laying there inanimately, staring off into the distance with slightly anguished eyes where she had seen her sword disappear.

Ode didn't like her sword for some reason, his scream said pages on it, while she could easily summon it again, it would only make him angry again, which she didn't want to do.
But that meant she wouldn't be able to have her sword for the duration of her time around Ode, and she didn't want to leave, he still had songs and stories and warmth.

Now what was she supposed to do?  She couldn't avenge anyone even if she could care about something enough to avenge its loss, and her mind felt so empty and lethargic from the meltdown, she'd lost even the willpower to move right now.
She simply just let herself be carried with no real reaction, back inside the cave and back to where they were when Perish had damaged Ode, making her a little more depressed.

Though depressed, in Ode's embrace once more she could feel the warmth sinking into her icy skin once more, most of her remaining thoughts slowly melted away.
Before she realised it she was enfolded inside a large coat with Ode, and within a minute or so the heat began to double, Perish seemed to just let go of all of her muscles as the warmth passed through her.
"Warm..." Perish murmured mindlessly, not even moving a single muscle.

[Anonymous]

The sword wasn't something that Ode found himself very fond of. Ode had hopes for Perish, that once they got to the city he could help her to change. He could even use her as an assistant if he tried! Granted, he was just a bard, it wasn't like he was a street performer that NEEDED an assistant. However, he could teach her to dance perhaps, maybe give her some singing lessons, and they could start doing some duets. He wanted to get her outside of the norm for her, and he was sure that getting her to join him in his bardic ways would get work. He just had to be very careful with what he did, and how he did it.

At this time however, he would just want to recover his strength. He felt himself using too much energy than he was regaining, but the warm large coat was actually a better idea. He needed time to recover and to rest, the bit of bloodloss had affected him slightly, made him even more tired than before, but he would be able to get by just fine.

There in the cave, with the embers lighting up the inside only slightly, the cold wind about them, and both wrapped up in the large fur coat, Ode couldn't think of a better way to spend the night. Well, a warm bed in an inn with a saucy lass and a couple of pints of ale but...he did have a lass, and this thick comfy coat...it was as good as anything really.

"Very warm." Ode agreed in a hushed voice, snuggling slightly into her as he let his eyes drift close. He wouldn't sleep, but he was shutting down. His joints were becoming a little stiff and he was focused more on not moving anything. His chest still raised up and fell as he breathed, but he wasn't moving. He didn't even feel like talking. He honestly couldn't think of much to say at this point. They had talked a lot, and he had thought a lot during their short trek together.

He wanted to talk more with her but...after the recent developments, he couldn't think of a damned thing to say to her. What could you possibly say? They just had one hell of a fight, and she had stopped herself from trying to kill him....and it had all started with a discussion about pleasure. It had not turned out to be a very pleasurable evening, it had gone in a very strange direction really. He hadn't expected such a reaction, and he couldn't imagine what she was thinking.

He almost wished he could get inside her mind. He had the abilities, but he was scared to use them. Scared to invade, scared that she might become angered again, that she might summon the sword and the armour. He wanted her to not have to do that, to not think of him as any sort of threat. He was friendly and helpful to her, and yet with a simple action he had become...an enemy. There was that thought to reach out to her with his mind, to touch it and see what he could find on the surface...but there was the fear that he might do something wrong. If he ended up in a coma, what would happen? She would probably leave, think he might be dead after all, and he did NOT like the idea of waking up in a crypt, tomb, or under six feet of dirt. Granted he could turn himself into something to get out but...

It was the initial reaction.

Ode decided it would be best to keep himself from invading her mind, from skimming any of her surface thoughts.

It was best to just...stay warm and heat Perish up. Maybe when she was really warm she'd changed. After all, she had felt something when they had huddled together before, the kiss. She had felt some...pleasurable tingle perhaps.

Still, in the back of his mind, he wondered why he was doing this. He was a good natured sort of fellow, maybe it was partly out of pity, and the desire to do good, and maybe out of lust. There was always that lingering thought, and he wasn't sure if it was the fact that he was a shape shifter or a bard that did that in. Oh how he enjoyed a good romp in the sheets. That, he assumed, was the shape shifter part of him talking. He knew a few others who had the same...qualities as him, and he couldn't for the life of him figure it out.

Ode pushed it from his mind however, deciding that it was best not to start thinking and dwelling on these questions. It was best to leave his mind blank for for the time being and just...relax with the woman named Perish in his arms.