@MadEmperor
"Are you
sure this is a good idea?"
Krysta giggled and spun on the end of her branch to look back at Galon and Brix. "Of course it's not," she pointed out with a grin. "That's what makes it
fun."
The other two young pixies had quite different reactions to this concept. Galon swallowed nervously, but Brix beamed and fluttered up to join Krysta at the end of the branch. "If we get caught, we
are blaming you," she informed the princess.
Krysta chuckled and nodded. "Oh, of course. Now shush, the guard change is in three minutes."
Sneaking out passed the castle guards was never particularly difficult; in fact, since she'd come of age, the Crown Princess of Dreamhaven had actually entered into a sort of unspoken understanding with half the royal guard that--as long as she didn't cause too much trouble--they would turn a blind eye.
But the guards at the edge of Dreamhaven
itself were another matter entirely. Pixies weren't
forbidden from leaving the magical barrier that surrounded their queendom, but it wasn't exactly encouraged either. And Krysta was
definitely not allowed to do so.
So rather than going
through, the current plan was to go
over.
"That was
too close."
Brix huffed and put an arm around Galon's waist, pulling her beau in to peck his cheek. "It was
fine."
"That hawk nearly had you!"
"It did not." Brix rolled her eyes. "It didn't even see us."
"It dove!"
"For a rabbit!"
Krysta smiled a bit to herself as she listened to her friends bicker. Brix and Galon were always around for one of her larks, and she had to love them for it. Of course, she would never try to lead them into something
actually dangerous--
"What is
that?"
"For goodness' sake, Galon!" Brix exclaimed. "Stop worrying--"
"No. I heard something too," Krysta cut her off. She paused in her flight path, fluttering above the undergrowth of the forest. They hadn't gotten too far from the border of Dreamhaven, but even this close one could see the difference: more of the evergreen trees native to the area, a chiller early spring breeze, less some creatures roaming about this close to dark.
The sound came again, a low moaning noise that almost
echoed in a way that indicated it came from quite a large creature.
"...What is that?" Brix whispered. Krysta glanced back to see she and Galon had shrunk back beneath the broad leaves of a fern.
She smiled at them, hoping to portray a confidence she suddenly didn't feel. "No idea. I'll go check it out, you two wait here."
"Krysta--"
"We can't just--"
"Wait. Here." She said it gently, but firmly, brooking no argument. "If I'm not back in five minutes, head back to Dreamhaven and alert the guard."
Ignoring their protests, she fluttered up and turned in place in the air. AS the sun continued to set, the faint shimmer from her wings became a soft glow, giving her a gently halo of pale light as she bobbed through the air toward where she'd heard that strange noise.
Not far from where she'd left her friends, she found the large mouth of a hollow. It wasn't quite a
cave, exactly, formed mostly from an overhang in the earth and a leaning pine tree whose roots had grown downward in a sort of curtain around it. And there was
something inside it.
Something big.
Krysta lit on one of the arched roots near the entrance, peering into the darkness as she tried to make out the shape of the massive shadow within. Her wings fluttered nervously, increasing the glow around her hand-span sized body.
Whatever it was, it fearfully pressed itself further into the hollow. She could hear the labored breathing of some beast and the coppery smell of blood assailed her nostrils. It was wounded and thus dangerous.
The former human watched the tiny, glowing person with perplexed trepidation. He had never seen the like. Of course, it didn't help that he didn't even know what he was. It was like he had passed through a mirror into a world that was the same but completely alien at the same time, one where his god could not find him.
Oh, poor thing.
It was hurt.
She still couldn't make out what it was, but from the general shape she thought it might be an oxen of some sort. Maybe a beast of burden from a passing caravan? If there was an attack, that would explain the scent of blood, and why it was alone...
Drawing on a thread of her magic, she reached out to the creature with the intent to convey understanding of her words. Most animals instinctively understood the general intent behind Sylvan, even if they couldn't speak the language, but she figured it would be best to be cautious.
"Hello?" She flitted upward, hovering several feet off the forest floor. "I'm not going to hurt you--do you need help?"
The creature's eyes widened. How was it that he understood the small being? She wasn't speaking Common. Was she using magic?!
"O... ag--agic..." he growled, trying to speak. Magic did this to him, he wasn't going to accept being subjected to it again.
Krysta froze.
It--it was speaking. Like, properly speaking. Or at least trying to.
That was definitely not an ox.
"I'm...sorry," she said slowly, heart racing. She continued to feed her own wild magic into her voice and intent. "I didn't...quite get that. Are you hurt?"
Maybe it was magic that made him trust her intent and maybe it wasn't, but he did all the same. Besides, he couldn't fall any further from Ansgar's light.
The great head nodded. "Yes... hurt... n-need... he-help..." He sounded confused and afraid.
"You need help." Krysta sighed, relieved they were able to communicate after all. The magic she was feeding into her spoke Sylvan shouldn't do anything more than allow understanding, but even that wasn't always a guarantee. Her control of her magic was...not exactly well-practiced.
"Can I...see?" She risked fluttering a tiny bit closer. If she could see the injuries, she had a better chance of being able to help.
The beast answered by no longer cowering into the back of the hollow. When he did, she saw a chimera of some kind, emaciated and caked in blood. Its back and side were riddled with arrows. Its eyes, whose irises were all the colors of candle flame, were not ones of something wild, merely frightened and sad.
"Don't want... die..."
"Oh, dear..."
Krysta put a hand to her mouth as she began to take in the full extent of the creatures injuries—and of the creature himself.
"Oh, you poor thing." She bobbed in place, wings buzzing into a blur of light behind her. "Just—just one moment. I'll be right back, I promise."
She cast one last look over the gargantuan length of him, then spun and zipped back to where she'd left her friends. Galon was pacing nervously—of course—and Brix was the first to see her.
"What—?"
"I need you to go back and fetch some medical supplies," Krysta cut her off. "As much tansy and cobweb as you can carry—and whatever pixie dust you can snatch. Quickly."
"What—"
"But why—"
"Please." She looked between them a little frantically. "There's a—an animal of some kind. A creature, and he's hurt."
"But..." Galon frowned. "We should report it to the guard! It's so close to the barrier..."
Krysta shook her head. "It's too close. They'll want to chase him off before they offer any sort of aid, and I don't know if he has that kind of time. Please, Galon!"
Brix stared at her a moment, then nodded firmly. "We're on it." Galon still looked wary, but nodded as well.
Krysta's shoulders slumped in relief and she murmured, "Thank you," as they took to the air.
Quick as she could, she darted back up and toward the hollow where the creature was hidden. "I have friends going to get some supplies to help you," she told him, hovering around the height of his heavy head. "But I should start working on getting those arrows out." She hesitated, bobbing in place in the air. "Can I...get closer?"
The creature nodded, though he was skeptical that such a small thing could remove the arrows painfully lodged in his flesh.
"You tiny... how can you?" he asked, carefully choosing his words for understandability.
"I--well, to be frank, I'm not sure that I can," Krysta admitted, biting at her lower lip. She bobbed closer. "But I'm going to try. And at the very least I can take a look and see what sort of care you need."
She hesitated one moment more before flying forward to hover just a human arm's length from his eye. "Is it alright if I...?" She gestured vaguely toward his back; a closer look at the arrows embedded in his hide meant she would essentially need to be walking around on him, and she didn't want to do it without warning. She'd heard horror stories of pixies who'd been mistaken for pests by wounded creatures and...swatted.
"Please," he responded with a nod. Honestly, he didn't know whether or not some newly gained animal instinct would cause him to react violently to her attempts to help him. He was starving from repeated failed attempts at cornering prey and his tail had a mouth of its own. Would it try to eat her?
"Watch... for... tail. Has... teeth."
"It has what?!"
Krysta gaped at him, blinked, then shook her head briskly. "Err—right. Okay. I'll...watch out for that..."
She fluttered up and over the top of his head to touch down lightly between his horns. She doubted her slight weight registered to a creature his size, but she moved cautiously anyway.
"How did...all this happen?" she asked as she approached the first cluster of arrows.
Ivan didn't know how much he should share with this magical being. No, he shouldn't think that way; merely being magical was no sin. She was using magic though. That was dangerous, no matter how seemingly benign. Yet... what choice did he have but to trust his best chance at survival?
"Was hu'an... friends not know... they try to slay 'onster." He spoke the last word with deep pain and sorrow.
Krysta hesitated as she reached the first quarrel, glancing back over her shoulder toward the slope of his head.
"You were...human?" Had she understood that properly?
"Yes, not... this," the beast answered with some revulsion.
The arrows didn't appear to be very deep. However, the wounds around them had closed. The arrows weren't going to come out easily, but at least he wasn't actively bleeding. And there were no signs of infection, which was miraculous given the state he was in.
"...What happened to you?"
Krysta continued picking her way carefully along the creature's back, taking stock of the wounds around the arrowheads embedded in his flesh. They'd mostly closed up, but they hadn't healed over entirely—she would have to break open the scabs to get them out, but it wouldn't be as bad as having to cut them out.
The beast closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. It hurt to remember that day. "Old ruin. M-oonlight triggered sp-spell... woke up as beast."
Krysta frowned and started tiptoeing her way back to the beast's head. Unfortunately there was nothing she could really do about his wounds until they had proper supplies; she didn't trust her healing magic enough to use it entirely unaided.
"When was this?" she asked gently as she made her way back up between his horns. "I mean, how long ago?"
Ivan couldn't say how long it had been. Everything was so overwhelming that he hadn't had the presence of mind to count the days. He just knew that he had wandered a long way before ending up in whatever forest this was.
"Not sure. M-month, maybe?"
A month? That seemed a long time to be trapped in a form that was not your own.
"I'm sorry," Krysta murmured, lowering herself down to sit between his horns with her legs curved to one side. "Well--once we get you fixed up, maybe I can...help, somehow. See if I can help you figure out what happened."
She didn't want to promise too much, but it seemed the least she could do for the poor thing.
Ivan could tell she was sincere, even if her offer seemed a tad naïve. He didn't know if becoming human again was a possibility, as much as he wished it were so. Even if it were, it would require even more magic and how could he return to Ansgar's light through sin?
"After heal, no magic," he said before he realized that he should probably keep being Ansgarian to himself. His religion wasn't popular with foreigners; they were too enamored magic's short-term benefits to see the truth.
Krysta blinked, looking down at him with a curious frown. "No magic?" she repeated. Wanting to make sure she understood what he was saying, she asked, "You mean...you don't use magic? Or you don't want me to use magic?"
Ivan sighed; he was too honest for his own good. He would be much safer lying. But he was too tired and hungry to be clever. "Magic b-bad for soul. Best avoided."
Krysta's frown deepened. That...was an odd thing to say. Though she supposed she might be able to understand it, if magic was the reason he'd been forced into a shape not his own.
Assuming his transformation was his only experience with magic, she tried to reassure, "The mages back at the castle are well experienced with their craft--if they are able to help you, it wouldn't be a dangerous undertaking."
Ansgar forgive me, for I am too weak to die before being a part of magic.
Wait... "Castle?" he asked with a little surprise. He hadn't seen any such thing as he came down from the mountains. A Fae glamour obscured it, perhaps? That was what she was, right?
"Yes, castle," Krysta repeated. She smirked a bit to herself and added, "I'd offer to give you a tour when you're well, but I don't think you'd...fit."
There were magics that her people could bestow to grant outsiders access to their queendom by temporarily changing their size, but as far as she knew those hadn't been used in generations.
She fluttered up from her perch on the crown of his head to hover in the air in front of him. "Just a bit longer," she assured, glancing back over her shoulder into the forest. "My friends should be back with some supplies soon."
Of course. Anything people of her size would call a castle would be small enough to blend in with the forest. And with Fae glamour, nobody would find them unless they wanted them to.
"Friends?" he asked nervously, ashamed of his newfound cowardice. But he was in an unfamiliar land, with an unfamiliar body, alone and wounded; he was right to be wary of the kindness of the Fae. He had heard many a horrific tale of the price of such things.
"Mhm." Krysta flittered about near the entrance of his makeshift den, peering out into the thick greenery of the forest. "We were just out on a lark when we heard you back here. I'm not really supposed to be this far out, so it'll be easier for them to grab the supplies we need and get back. Less suspicious."
Her general demeanor, coupled with her seemingly unique restrictions, planted the suspicion in his mind that she was, perhaps, high-born. He wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing.
"Sneaked out?"
"Well--yes," Krysta sighed. She saw no point in lying to him--it wasn't like he was going to rat her out to the guard.
She let her eyes flicker over the tree line once more, then turned and fluttered back to hover in front of him. She tried to keep enough distance that he could actually see her--she knew it she flew two close she was so small he'd be going cross-eyed trying to keep her in sight.
She shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Well, usually it isn't. Like I said, just out for a lark." She smiled crookedly. "We don't usually find wounded curse subjects hiding in the woods."
"I no wish you trouble, but I glad you did." Ivan hated speaking like he was just learning common, but it was exhausting trying to pronounce things correctly with the mouth of a beast. Perhaps when he had his energy back, he could learn to speak properly. He hoped the gratitude he already felt towards the pixie showed in his colorful feline eyes.
"Name?" he asked.
The diminutive princess fluttered back and forth in front of him for a moment before backpedaling in the air a bit.
"Krysta," she said, laying a hand on her chest. "My name is Krysta. And you?"
"Ivan," he answered. "Good to meet you."
His head drooped for a moment as exhaustion clawed at him. It was a struggle to stay alert, but he worried that if he fell asleep, he might never wake again. "They bring food, too?"
"Ivan," Krysta repeated. She smiled at him and nodded, raising both hands with her fingers spread wide in what was clearly a familiar gesture to her. "Stars aligned."
It was a common enough greeting among her own people--the implication being that she was glad the stars had aligned in whatever configuration had led to their meeting.
She winced slightly when he asked about food. "Well...I didn't ask them to. But, um..." She glanced back over her shoulder into the trees. "Here, I'll go look for something. I'll be back soon, promise."
She flitted toward the entrance of the den, then hesitated. "Er...what do you...eat?"
If he could easily answer that, then he wouldn't be so emaciated. Or maybe he did know; he just wasn't ready to surrender any more of his humanity by devouring live prey.
"Meat... I assume. Not raw. Not a mere beast yet." Ivan shuddered at the thought of raw meat, even as unfamiliar instincts told him it was what he needed—what he actually wanted.
Krysta bit her lip. That...may be challenging.
She swallowed. "Ah...does it have to be meat? I'm not exactly a hunter, and um..." She gestured to herself. All six inches of her. "I don't know if I could carry proper game."
She gave him an apologetic look. "Will nuts and berries do, just for now? I don't want to make you sick, but finding a proper meal for you will take longer than we have..."
Ivan was actually relieved not to have to indulge his new body's appetite for meat. He didn't know if he could keep much down in his current state anyway.
"Yes. That is fine. Thank you." His speech was still careful and forced, but he was quickly getting the hang of speaking. Soon, he might even be able to speak normally. At least, when just staying alert wasn't its own challenge.
"Right!" She buzzed up to just above the height of his head for a moment, then flitted back out of the entrance of his makeshift den. "I'll be back soon!"
Gathering the forage of the forest was significantly easier for Krysta than hunting would have been; she did have to change her size to properly transport her several human handfuls of bounty back to Ivan's hiding place.
The ability to change size and shape was something her people weren't actually supposed to do in front of outsiders, if at all possible, so she reverted back to her proper size just outside the den and began carting in the nuts, berries, and mushrooms she'd gathered one or two at a time.
"There," she panted, dropping a hazelnut onto the pile. It was probably only a half dozen mouthfuls for a creature of Ivan's size, but it was better than nothing. "Once you're healing, hopefully I can bring you something more substantial..."
Ivan bowed his head in gratitude. He was going to ask how such a little thing could gather so much so quickly, but his stomach interrupted with a mighty rumble. He gave her an embarrassed look completely out of place on a great cat's face. "Sorry." He couldn't help but bury his face in the pile and start eating.
It didn't last long, but it was all he could stomach. "I feel better. Thank you."
Krysta smiled, glad the relatively tiny offering seemed to sate him at least a little. "You're quite welcome," she told him. "I'll try to find something, ah...more once we have you healed up a bit--"
As if on cue, she heard a familiar voice hiss from outside the den, "Krysta."
"Ah! That'll be my friends." She held a hand up to him. "Be right back, just...one moment."
Ivan nodded and rested his head on his draconic forepaws to wait. He truly did feel better already, at least as far as hunger was concerned. There was still much to do to alleviate his physical suffering and return his strength to him. At least now, he had made a friend.
By the time she returned, he had allowed himself to fall asleep.
"Stars above!"
"Shhhh!" Krysta glowered at Galon as she led her friends into Ivan's makeshift den to find him dozing.
The other pixie gaped at her. "But he's huge!"
"I said hush!" She put a finger to her lips. "He probably needs the rest. It seems like he's had a rough time of it."
"You could certainly say that," Brix muttered, her eyes darting over the arrows still lodged in the creature's flank.
Asleep, there was nothing about the beast to suggest the human soul within. He looked like nothing more than a wild monster, if an entirely unique one. The raised voice of Galon made the creature stir slightly, but he continued to doze. However, if he were awake to say so, he would prefer to get his wounds treated sooner rather than later. It was dangerous to leave them untreated for much longer, even with his enhanced vitality.
Krysta gestured for her friends to wait, then fluttered her way forward to hover above Ivan's leonine muzzle.
"Err, hello?" She hesitated, then buzzed forward to tap his nose as forcefully as she dared. She didn't want to annoy him, but she also didn't want to startle him awake with medical attention. "Can you hear me?"
Ivan groaned awake, his colorful feline eyes fluttering open. It took him a moment to remember where he was and what had happened to him. With a great feline yawn, he said, "Yes. I hear you."
His gaze drifted to her nervous friends. "Don't be afraid. I have no reason to harm you." In fact, he had every reason not to; his survival depended on their willingness to help and he had no intention of acting like nothing more than a beast.
The other two pixies still kept their distance, looking to their princess uncertainly, but Krysta smiled and nodded at him.
"Good. We're going to start doing our best with those arrow wounds, but I didn't want to startle you. Ready?"
She bobbed up to hover around his shoulders, gesturing for her friends to join her. They did so, albeit warily.
"I am," he answered with a nod. As he steeled himself for the intense pain to come, he made an effort to suppress his long-held distrust of all things magical. It was something he couldn't afford to feel, as now he was a creature of magic himself.
"Thank you again for your help. You will have saved my life and gained my unending gratitude."
Krysta's magic was no small part of her--nor a small power. But she didn't use it often for healing, outside of the occasional bruises or scrapes collected by herself or her friends on their ill-advised adventures.
Still, she did her best to send a wave of silver energy out over the massive creature's back, until the bulk of his form seemed to be covered in a half-transparent, shimmering blanket. Hopefully, aside from the tingle of magic itself, it would dull any sensation while she and her friends removed the arrows from his hide.
Which was a task she set to as fervently as she could, though she certainly moved slower than Galon and Brix, as her attention was split between the physical and magical. Consequently, she was much less chatty than she had been previously--and neither of her friends seemed entirely comfortable speaking to a creature that could easily crush them on accident if he wasn't careful.
They did, however, seem to have the presence of mind to call out when they were moving about on his back, letting him know their progress. Though Krysta was moving slower than her friends, occasionally sending another soft surge of power over Ivan's body to reinforce the dulling magic, they still managed to get the work done fairly quickly between the three of them.
Roughly half an hour later, several haphazard piles of arrows and barbs had been scattered around to either side of Ivan's body, and all three young pixies were panting with effort.
"Cobwebs," Krysta huffed, and Galon nodded, already starting to rummage through the bag Brix wore slung across her shoulder. Raising her voice, the princess added to Ivan, "I can't--can't keep this barrier up much longer. I'm gonna have to drop it, but all we have left to do is bandaging."
Thanks to Krysta's dulling magic, the process of removing the arrows was far less painful than what Ivan had prepared for. He was still conflicted over the use of magic on him but he accepted, without complaint, the blessing of relief from the pain he had been enduring.
"I can endure a little more pain if that is what it takes, but it will be nothing like what I was suffering before," he said gratefully.
As they tended to the bandaging, they would notice that his wounds were making visible progress towards healing on their own. His altered form had clearly given him certain advantages. In fact, that was likely how he survived in the first place.
Krysta allowed the magic to fade, her whole body sagging and the faint glow from her wings dimming slightly with the strain. Seeing how quickly the wounds that they had cleared were beginning to close, she could only hope that the antiseptic effect of her barrier would prevent infection--or perhaps he had a natural resistance.
She took her portion of the armfuls of cobwebs and began working on what wounds were still open. "It looks like you're healing quickly, now," she noted hopefully. "I'm sure you'll be feeling much better soon--maybe even by morning."
"That soon?" Ivan asked, surprised and perplexed. He was completely unaware of the potential for healing that his new body possessed, though the fact that he should be dead already was not lost on him. "With these wounds, I expected a lengthy recovery."
"Well, it's just a guess." Krysta fluttered around to hover in front of his face and better address him. Her glow was still dimmed, though she was no longer panting. "But judging by how fast the wounds started to close once we'd removed the arrows, yeah, I'd say tomorrow. How do you feel?"
Ivan thought for a long moment, judging the state of his body. "Hungry for more than nuts and berries, but otherwise surprisingly well. It seems this unusual body is quite resilient."
He glanced over at the pile of arrows and bolts that had been pulled out of him and winced. "The fact that I survived at all is proof enough of that, though I still believe I would have died before long if not for your kindness."
Krysta smiled at him and bobbed in the air in a gesture that somehow carried the connotation of a polite nod. "We couldn't very well just leave you," she said with a shrug.
Taking wing from Ivan's back, Galon gave her a very pointed look before Birx took his arm and towed him around to hover near their princess.
"I'm afraid I'm not sure how much help we'll be in getting you, well...enough food," Krysta admitted, biting her lip. "But—I did ask my friends to bring some of this."
She produced a cinched pouch that Brix had given her along with the healing supplies, and opened the mouth wide enough to release a faint glow—much like the one that haloed her and her friends. "Pixie dust," she said, as though that explained everything.
Ivan glanced into the bag with bemused hesitation. He didn't know what the glowing substance was for, only that his faith denounced it. However, he had the good sense not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"You'll have to enlighten me as to the purpose of 'pixie dust.' I am largely ignorant of the ways of the Fae," he asked curiously, the part of him that was a scholar intrigued by the substance.
All three diminutive fae creatures blinked at him with identical expressions of bafflement.
"You...don't know what pixie dust is?" Brix asked disbelieving. It was the first either she or Galon had spoken to the massive creature; though she spoke in Sylvan, it was a simple thing to feed her natural magic into the words to ensure they were understood, as Krysta had done.
The princess herself gave a quick shake of her head and cast her friend a vaguely quelling look. Right. Apparently it was not common knowledge among mortals. Okay then.
"It's...well, ah, technically it is a fine powder made up of millions upon millions of shed particles—we call them "scales"—from generations' of pixies' wings," Krysta explained carefully. She fluttered her own moth-like wings to emphasize the point. "Practically, it is a powerful magical reservoir that we can use to enhance more difficult spells." She cocked her head and smiled slightly. "Like growing a chestnut to the size of a melon. For example." She shrugged. "None of the three of us are very good hunters, but I thought it might be better than scavenging for hours." She glanced down into the bag again, then mused, "I suppose you could eat the dust itself—"
"NO!" Both Galon and Brix shouted so loudly that a startled finch took to the air from a nearby tree.
While he didn't shout, Ivan seemed equal in his rejection of the idea, shaking his head with wide eyes. "I would very much rather not eat that. Enlarged fruit would be much preferred."
"As for hunting, I was a capable hunter when I was a man. When I feel a little better, I will try my hand—err... paw—at hunting like this. I don't expect you to feed me for any longer than necessary."
Krysta shrugged easily, and both her friends seemed to sag in relief behind her. "Suit yourself--probably wouldn't be a very good idea, now I think about it."
"We can, ah, go get something to use it on, if you wanna stay and make sure the healing took," Brix offered. Narrowing her eyes and lowering her voice, she added to Krysta, "And if you promise not to do something stupid."
The fair-haired pixie rolled her eyes. "I promise, I promise," she huffed, flapping a hand at them both. "See if you can find any snowpears--I think that one tree near the barrier still has a few."
Galon nodded, glancing at Ivan before asking quietly, "You'll be okay on your own?"
She rolled her eyes again. "I have been so far, Gal. Go on!"
Ivan was mildly amused by the attempt to not be heard. His ears were far too keen for that, not that he didn't understand their reluctance. "On my honor, she has nothing to fear from me," he vowed.
Inwardly, he winced at his own words. He had once vowed to serve Ansgar's church until his dying breath and to reject magic in all its forms, no matter how innocent it appeared. Yet all it took to shake his devotion was the fear of death. He felt like the worst kind of hypocrite.
Both Galon and Brix shot wary looks at him for that--Galon significantly more wary than Brix, admittedly. Still, both left with quick nods toward Krysta.
The pixie left behind huffed quietly before spinning in place to face Ivan. "You're sure some fruit will be enough for now?" she asked, wringing her hands together in front of her body. "I'm afraid none of the three of us are much good at hunting, but we could...I mean, I could try to sneak you some food from...home."
Sneaking into the castle kitchens wasn't the problem--it was the idea of sneaking back out again with enough food to feed a creature Ivan's size that gave her pause. Pixie dust or no.
The great beast shook his head. He couldn't ask for her to go through such trouble when she had already done so much for him. Not to mention what her people would do if they found out about him in such a way.
"You need not get yourself into trouble for my sake, not when you've already saved my life. I will be fine once I gain the strength to hunt for myself." At least, assuming anything short of meat would allow his strength to return.
Krysta nodded and bobbed over to perch on a small lip of earth jutting from the wall of the den. "Alright, if you're sure."
She drew her legs up onto the lip and yawned, then shook her head briskly. "Ah--sorry. Using that much magic takes it out of me, I'm afraid," she chuckled lightly with a tiny shrug.
"I would imagine so. The energy has to come from somewhere after all. I may not understand the finer points of magic, but I know you can't get something from nothing," Ivan responded with what almost passed as a small smile.
He grew quiet. "I feel it, you know—the magic coursing through this body. It feels like a roaring flame, warming me from within and begging to be used. Should I submit to the temptation, I would turn my back on everything I have been taught—on everything I thought was important."
Krysta frowned slightly as she folded her legs around in front of her body. Her wings fluttered a bit, though not with the same energy as when she had been using them to hover around him.
"That...what do you mean, exactly?" she asked slowly, confusion clear in both her expression and tone. "I'm assuming you didn't have magic before...well, this, but surely you could find someone to teach you?"
Ivan let out a heavy sigh. His honest nature had betrayed him and now there was no option but to explain himself. "I... I was taught that using magic is a sin. More, that it drains energy from nature itself and will eventually destroy all life if we let it. I've known no other way. But I now find myself questioning that belief, and I don't know what to do with that."
Krysta gaped at him.
Her education as the heir to her realm had been extensive, but did not focus overmuch on affairs outside of their forest. She knew mortal folk had almost as many varied opinions on magic as there were types of mortals. She even knew that some of them forsook it entirely, for one reason or another—but none of those reasons had ever been explained to her. And that was just...
"But that's idiotic," she blurted without thinking.
So much for all those lessons in decorum and diplomacy. Somewhere, she was sure her mother's eye had just twitched.
"I-I mean, that—but it..." She floundered, then trailed off, unable to come up with something remotely kind to say to that particular ideology. She shook her her in complete bafflement. "Do you also believe the seas will dry because we must drink water?" she found herself asking with an incredulous laugh.
Ivan crossed his arms forelegs defensively. Those outside Connloath never understood. "My people once fled from a land destroyed by magic, where magic itself is still twisted to this day. What are we supposed to think when such a place exists to remind us of the dangers of magic? If it wasn't for Ansgar, we'd have perished long ago."
Krysta blinked at him. "Yeessss," she said slowly, as though humoring a child, "and sometimes the river floods. A hurricane blows in off the ocean. Nature is destructive, but not out of malice. We also need it."
She frowned and shook her head. "Magic isn't some--some parasitic force against nature, it is nature." She thought furiously, trying to come up with a more concrete example. But the very idea of what he was saying was just...antithetical to her existence! It felt so obvious to her--she'd never had to defend it before.
"Oh!" She straightened up, fluttering her wings again with a smile. "Where does the new magic come from then? If it was really draining away at the world, we would see it, wouldn't we? Either the magic would start to dry up, or the world would. But it doesn't."
"I've seen many horrors brought about by the abuse of magic. Even if what you say is the truth of things, there is reason to resist its influence. At least among mortal kin. We are better served doing things without magic as a crutch," Ivan answered, trying very hard to remain civil. It was only logical that the Fae had such a perspective; they lived and breathed magic and couldn't exist without it. Why else would they avoid Connloath?
Krysta rolled her eyes theatrically. "Stars, where do you get this stuff?" she huffed, more to herself than to Ivan.
Were there really mortals who thought this? Well—obviously there must be. Ivan didn't sound like he was spouting it off the top of his head. And he'd said something about being "taught".
She shrugged and shook her head. "Well. I suppose it doesn't really matter if you listen to me or not—it won't change the way the world works. Magic just is."
Nobody had ever questioned his beliefs so directly. He had never had to defend them to anyone either, so for a moment he was at a loss, flabbergasted by the blatant disrespect his faith was getting.
"What, pray tell, makes you such an expert that you can call an entire nation, the technological leader of all Le'raana, so completely wrong about the nature of the world?" he said, his voice full of injured pride.
A small, self-satisfied smirk started to curl its way across her face. "What makes me the expert?" she repeated, wings buzzing into a brighter glow for just a moment. "Gee, it couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I am literally made of magic. Like my entire species. Nooooo, that couldn't possibly be it, could it?"
"And humans are mostly water. That doesn't mean we understand the intricacies of sea life," Ivan countered with diminishing patience. He didn't enjoy sarcasm on a good day and while it was a better day than he had experienced in weeks, it was not a good day.
Then, it hit him that he could no longer count himself among humans in such a way. He, too, was now a creature of magic. Which he could use. "And I'm magical now. I don't have any better understanding of it than I did before."
Krysta rolled her eyes. Maybe --probably--she should have been more worried about irritating a newly-magical creature many hundreds of times her own size, but somehow after even their relatively brief acquaintance she was finding it difficult to be properly wary of him. He was just...rather like a cub, in an odd way. Clearly unused to the world, or at least the version of it he now inhabited.
"To be perfectly honest, I don't know much about how...your type of magic should or would work, but..." She shrugged. "I'm sure someone back home might have an idea. Though telling them about you might be...err, complicated. Maybe I should just check the library..."
"I don't really want to know," the creature sighed sulkily. He didn't want any of this; he just wanted his life back. There was nothing he would not give to be back with his betrothed. Oh, how he wished he could have brought himself to take on less dangerous duties, as she had begged him to.
"But I suppose that if I don't learn the nature of it, it will only express itself in dangerous, uncontrolled ways." Learning about magic was no sin, only it's use, though it does increase the temptation. He had never been on the mage end of that law, always the magicless end. To actually be able to use his studies into magic was a frightening concept.
"Well...yeah." Krysta gave him a sidelong frown. "That is how it works." She sighed and rolled her eyes, leaning back. "My tutors have been trying to teach me better control for years. Bit annoying, really."
"You do seem to be rather headstrong and impulsive. That's not always a bad thing, though. I..." Ivan began, hesitating before deciding he might as well talk about his old life. "I was to wed such a woman. She refused to be bound by her station, which I found endearing. She certainly wouldn't have agreed to marry me if she let her social standing dictate her life."
He sighed sadly. "And now I'll never see my Maerwynn again. Not as long as I stay like this."
"...I'm sorry," Krysta offered, the smirk bleeding from her tone. She didn't have much experience in the field of romance--or, well, any--but she'd certainly seen a lot of it, both as it unfolded between her two closest friends and in the way her parents were nauseatingly besotted with each other.
Which meant she didn't really know how to offer condolences for this sort of thing. "She, ah...sounds nice?"
"She is... the most wonderful person I have ever met," Ivan answered fondly. Sadly, he added, "But even she would be hard-pressed to accept what I've become. Nor would I ask her to throw away her life to try. She would... She would be happier forgetting about me."
The realization visibly hurt him, but it was the undeniable truth of things. He knew that, even if he found a way to break his enchantment, his life would never be the same. He now possessed doubt in everything he thought was true because he had expected possessing magic to feel more unnatural.
This was so so so far out of the minute princess's realm of expertise. She honestly had handled the revelation of a massive, chimeric beast hiding close to the border of her homeland with more confidence than this situation.
"Errr...chin up?" she offered awkwardly, and immediately winced. "I mean, ah...it'll...be okay?"
The beast gave her a look that, even on a cat's face, unmistakably translated to "really? That's what you're going with?"
"Thank you for trying, but I don't feel like any part of this is okay." He sighed heavily, looking miserable. While, in truth, he was taking his situation as well as could be expected, the raw emotions he was struggling to contain were taking a toll. "Could I... have a moment alone?"
"Right. Yes. Of course." Krysta's wings buzzed into motion again and she quickly darted back toward the entrance of the den. "I'll just, um...I'll wait outside for the others..."
She hovered in place a moment, then quickly fluttered back out into the open air. As much as she was sure Ivan didn't want her around for this, she certainly didn't want to be anywhere near all those emotions.
And so Ivan mourned the loss of his old life alone, silently howling at the injustice of it all. He had diligently served his god for his entire life but was now left feeling forsaken and for no reason. Surely, if his god had any influence at all, He would have saved him from his fate. That realization shook his faith to the core.
By the time Krysta returned, the creature's tears had dried and the wave of misery had entirely passed. He looked at her as she entered. "Thank you for the space. I... needed that."