"No one's ever?" He whispered, hands reaching out to Fletcher before he realize what he was doing. He curled his fingers back into his palms and lowered his arms.
"You're right. I pushed you and I shouldn't have. I'm also sorry. And that wasn't even how I wanted to tell you that I just...I was so focused on trying to provide you with space in our life that I didn't give you any in the moment. And when I realized and we were just being angry I retreated to give you the space you wanted. I even said to you before I left that just because we were frustrated and angry I still very much meant what I said. I do feel that way for you, even now. I thought you'd come back inside calmer and we could try again and I could apologize. Or you'd need more space and take it—which is fine!
"Instead though you came in and you silenced me in the middle of talking to you. In the middle of me telling you that I love you, you turned your back on me and walked away. Then today you won't tell me what's wrong, you yell at me I'm being childish, treat me again like I am incapable of being an adult making grown decisions, and expect me to just know and understand things you left unsaid.
"I am not trying to hurt you. But I acknowledge that I very much did. And I am very sorry, Jack. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to push your boundaries and I didn't mean to abandon you when you needed me there most. I know it's the time of year when you're not your best either. And I respect that and am staying no matter how bad it gets. But I need you to talk to me, Jack. Write to me, talk to me, sign with me, something so I can alter course in time with you. I want this to work, but I need help...it's all new to me too."
"You're right. I pushed you and I shouldn't have. I'm also sorry. And that wasn't even how I wanted to tell you that I just...I was so focused on trying to provide you with space in our life that I didn't give you any in the moment. And when I realized and we were just being angry I retreated to give you the space you wanted. I even said to you before I left that just because we were frustrated and angry I still very much meant what I said. I do feel that way for you, even now. I thought you'd come back inside calmer and we could try again and I could apologize. Or you'd need more space and take it—which is fine!
"Instead though you came in and you silenced me in the middle of talking to you. In the middle of me telling you that I love you, you turned your back on me and walked away. Then today you won't tell me what's wrong, you yell at me I'm being childish, treat me again like I am incapable of being an adult making grown decisions, and expect me to just know and understand things you left unsaid.
"I am not trying to hurt you. But I acknowledge that I very much did. And I am very sorry, Jack. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to push your boundaries and I didn't mean to abandon you when you needed me there most. I know it's the time of year when you're not your best either. And I respect that and am staying no matter how bad it gets. But I need you to talk to me, Jack. Write to me, talk to me, sign with me, something so I can alter course in time with you. I want this to work, but I need help...it's all new to me too."