Rub-a-dub-dub, two pirates in a tub! [Hemogloblin!]

[Rhindeer]

"Savage...village...jokes...?" Kota repeated slowly as she let him have it, thoroughly taken aback. Poor stupid woman? Mocked and humiliated? What??

He stared at her, trying to figure out exactly what she was so hurt and angry about and how (and when!) he had mocked her and where she had gotten that he somehow thought she had an empty head. The best he could gather was that she was angry he liked men and that it was somehow a joke that...he was playing on her? Wait. Did she like him? But she couldn't! She was angry when he brought up marriage and then angrier when, in a panic, he confessed the truth to try to reassure her. WHERE WAS HE GOING WRONG HERE? Well, fake panic marrying her was the start, he shouldn't have done that, but--!

He ran his hands through his hair in distressed confusion, pulling at his scalp. "What...I...no! No, no! Of course not, Morgan, you're smart and terrifying! Smarter than my dumb ass! I--" He took a deep breath to try to collect his frazzled thoughts.

"No one's gonna mock you. No one's gonna know. You're the first person who knows a damned thing!"

[GoblinFae]

Morgan stared long and hard at Kota as if the act would allow her to bare his soul to her and read the truth between his words. If she was truly capable of such witchcraft though she kept such things to herself. Only after a good while did she finally speak, voice quieter and sounding as drained and exhausted as she felt with an edge of wary haughtiness. "What do you expect of me now?"

[Rhindeer]

"Expect of you...?" Kota stared at Morgan, brow creased in confusion as he watched her, trying and failing to guess her thoughts. "I don't expect anything. I didn't exactly plan this. I--"

He drew a deep breath. "If ya keep my secret, I'll owe you. I didn't wanna do this. I didn't even wanna tell ya! I was stupid and I panicked and no one can know about it...please."

[GoblinFae]

"In this moment, Kota," she punctuated full of exasperation. "How I would ever reveal your so-called secret is beyond me. But what is expected of me in regards to," a sour expression came across Morgan's face as she sneered out her next words haltingly," playing. Your. Wife."

[Rhindeer]

DUH.

Kota stared at Morgan for a couple blank seconds, then let out a nervous laugh. "Right. I knew that. Uh."

Poor Morgan was assuming he'd thought ahead that far, haha...ha...

He scratched the back of his neck. "I guess just, um, we should just try and act like we like each other kinda?"

[GoblinFae]

She stared at him completely unimpressed. "Note to self, don't ever put you in charge of anything." Morgan nearly said more when the sound of approaching footsteps stopped her. Instead she reached out and dragged Kota into a close hug, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as she leaned into him. 

"We will discuss this further later," she hissed into his ear though despite the warmth of the long hug. 

[Rhindeer]

Before Kota could even manage a 'what the fuck?', Morgan had him pulled into a warm embrace while he just stood there, eyes wide, arms stiff at his sides, and back rigid. But the confusion was short-lived as Morgan whispered in his ear and his mother appeared in the doorway.

So that was why!

Quickly, Kota wrapped his arms around his 'wife' and pretended not to notice Fujin's presence until she sharply cleared her throat.

"Did you not hear me? Dinner's ready, Kota," she grit out, eyes sweeping over the two of them with barely restrained contempt.

"Oh! Sorry, ma. Lost track of time!" Kota quickly released Morgan and offered her his arm so he could guide her out, speaking to her in Common once more. "Lean on me, I'll help you out there. Er...I'm really sorry. For the awkwardness and everything. Ma is...not too thrilled about this. Hey, look, you guys have somethin' in common!"

[GoblinFae]

Morgan side-eyed him as he offered her his arm, just barely managing to stamp down the urge to roll her eyes at his terrible acting. Instead of accepting it though she took a wobbly step forward and inclined her head at her new mother-in-law. "Apologies and sorries."

Straightening and turning to look back at Kota, she offered up a withering look. "You'd never guess what the common denominator behind both our irritations is. Well don't just stand there Kota," she hissed motioning him forward as if she had not just brushed him off a moment before. "I'm hungry and I'll need you to ensure I don't end up poisoned or worse."

[Rhindeer]

Fujin let out a long-suffering sigh at her new daughter-in-law's awkward Thanati. "You could have at least picked a smart one," she told Kota, before flashing Morgan a sweet smile and waving off her apology.

Kota just winced. Common denominator. Right. Ha. "I have a few hunches..." he said lamely as he started to lead the way, but slowly, while watching Morgan carefully in case she needed help. She was the proud, stubborn sort, but if her body didn't want to work yet, there would be a point where no amount of stubborn pride would be enough to power it. "And, uh, ya don't gotta worry about that. She's not a murderer! She's just mad. If she's gonna poison anyone, it'll be me."

Or both of them, most likely.

The living area was simple, with a low table surrounded by plush pillows for sitting. Fujin had already set their places and placed serving spoons, along with two steaming bowls, at the center: one of rice and the other, a sort of sweet potato curry. There was also a plate of flat bread.

Fujin motioned them to sit. "Serve yourselves," she said as she settled onto a cushion. "There's plenty for seconds, and she could use a little meat on her bones."

[GoblinFae]

Morgan's eyes narrowed in response. She may not have understood her new mother-in-law's words but she certainly caught the sarcastic tone. If she were to wager a hunch, she'd just been insulted.

Her scowl only deepened at Kota's false optimism. "Or both of us," she unknowingly echoed his thoughts with a huff. Her movements were slow but prideful as she waddled over to sit. Descending to the pillows was awkward as she thunked down gracelessly and stretched her newly healed leg out uncomfortably. 

"What did she say, dearest?"

[Rhindeer]

Kota smiled sheepishly at Morgan, pain in his expression. This was going to be the most awkward dinner yet, he thought as Fujin took a seat on one of the cushions across from them.

Morgan echoed his thoughts. At least there was one thing they were in agreement on.

He started to spoon curry into Morgan's bowl when she asked for a translation. Kota winced.

"She, uh...she said there's plenty here so don't be shy, eat up!" he said, forcing a cheerful smile.

"Can your ghost girl even handle heat?" Fujin asked from across the table as she nibbled some curry-soaked bread. "Has she even tasted a pepper? I've heard her people have dull palates. Among other things."

Kota grimaced. "She's worried it might be too spicy for you."

[GoblinFae]

Morgan raised a brow while side-eyeing Kota, not at all believing him for a moment as she took her bowl of food from him. "Spice is not a problem for me," she replied flatly, her eyes trained on Fujin as if the other woman could understand her. "Kota, there's not fork."

[Rhindeer]

Kota lifted an eyebrow. "Why would there be—" His words died on his tongue, mouth hanging open in budding realization. Morgan was not Thanati. Big duh. His eyes moved to Fujin as she placed chopsticks for serving beside the communal bowl of rice, and then back to Morgan.

Folk from the mainland didn't use chopsticks and had given him strange looks when he did, enough that he had awkwardly learned how to use their clumsy utensils. It was obvious now that she might not have the slightest clue about them, but he'd had bigger issues on his mind than dinner etiquette! Oh...well...oops?

"Errr...we don't use 'forks' here," he told her with a sheepish cringe. "We, ah...here, watch." 

Grabbing up her dish, he played the part of the romantic, doting husband and served her some rice, then spooned curry over it. Pointing out the smaller chopsticks beside her, he took up his own and demonstrated how to hold them.

"See, ya put your fingers like this, okay?" he said, and clacked the sticks together to show her how to move them. "Then you pick up your food like this, right, and use the bread at the end to sop up all the stuff ya can't get with your utensils. It's easy once ya get the hang of it!"

[GoblinFae]

To say she was unimpressed was putting it lightly. Morgan took the proffered bite but her eyes still stared daggers at him as he attempted to teacher her how to use her chopsticks. A glance towards her 'mother-in-law' and her mind was made up. She wasn't even going to bother trying. 

"You can feed me, husband," the piratess declared while tearing some of the bread and using it as a napkin to pick up some of the food and offer it to his mouth with a challenging raised brow daring for dispute. 

[Rhindeer]

...WHAT.

Kota stared at her, quite aware of his mother's sharp gaze on them both. Was she out of her bloody mind?

"Morgan..." he said under his breath and through his teeth, a faint flush staining his face. Oh bloody hells, she wasn't actually serious was she? Was she?!

A quick glance at her face gave the answer: absolutely. And his hands were tied. If he didn't play along, they wouldn't exactly be convincing, would they? But this? In front of his mother?!

Sucking in a breath through his nose, he leaned in and took a bite from her hand and smiled at her, letting out a happy "mmm!" sound. Then, using his chopsticks, he scooped  up some rice and sweet potato and held it in front her lips.

And Fujin just stared.

[GoblinFae]

Morgan accepted the bite of food with her own pleased hum, dabbing at the corners of her mouth with her thumb to keep from making a mess. She looped an arm through Kota's and leaned into his body, grinning at him as her face came close to nuzzle shyly cheek to cheek.

"Why don't you ever make good food like this for me at home, dear?" She proclaimed pointedly, leaving it to him to translate and answer. They could both suffer if she was going to have to.

[Rhindeer]

Fujin's eyebrow twitched at the overt display, clearly not particularly enjoying seeing her adult son be so...overt with his foreign wife. She cleared her throat pointedly and took a  dainty bite of her food, while Kota did his novel best not to absolutely squirm.

"Morgan..." he whispered through grit teeth, his face heating vividly as she nuzzled him. Oh, he deserved this and he knew it, it was his fault they were "married" in the first place! But did she have to really get in kissing distance like this?!

"What did she say?" Fujin asked, and took another bite. "And can you do that nonsense privately? Preferably when I'm out of the house?"

"She, uh...she said the food's really good," Kota said weakly, his face burning all the hotter as he carefully started to pry himself from Morgan. "Morgan, honey, you're embarrassing her."