The increasing rarity of his smiles was something he himself hadn't noticed, but he had to fight the disappointment from learning this critical tidbit of information about her -that she noticed something like that about him and was bothered by it- from showing on his face. At least, he tried to fight it. He didn't like that it upset her so much, but he knew, too, that it wasn't just the lack of smiles, but their underlying problems.
He hadn't expected the shying away. Even though every touch had caused some sort of shock and pain, it made him feel just that much more hollow inside. She ended up bouncing back, though, and that helped, but he was unendingly cautious as his hand finally made its way down to gently clasp her own hand now before letting it fall altogether. He hissed in sharply for her statement, thinking at first that he'd definitely been found out, but either she wasn't going to expose him yet or didn't know what he'd been up to.
Caden felt guilty hearing her speak of "seeing" each other, or rather, the lack of seeing one another. He knew he couldn't blame his behavior on much of anything more than simply being territorial. He could have been good. He could have stayed away, a week wasn't going to kill him. Hell, a month wouldn't do the job. If it ever wore on, though... well, he wasn't sure he wanted to think about that. Instead of focusing on the mentioning of time, he zeroed in on the real issue at hand. "You can't give up," he barked, eyes narrowing just the slightest for the idea.
He knew if she ever did then they could say without a shadow of a doubt that months of their lives had been wasted. Wasted on searching. Wasted on trying. Wasted on arguing and fighting and being unhappy with their situation. Wasted what days there might have been peace for them. "I'm not going to deny that this is hard, Tiraris, but you have to do it! Maybe it's all part of the process. Maybe it's just how it has to be done."
Sighing, Caden reached back to lean against his hands. Closing his eyes for a moment, he focused on just the movements of air as he breathed and remained that way, body locked tensely, for a time. "I know it's a concern of yours, but I'm tired of hearing how worried you are of hurting me. I'm not fragile. I probably wouldn't be able to completely defend myself from your magic, especially as it is now, but I am not helpless. You know what I am, I know you do, but I don't think you understand just what I've gone through." It occurred to him as he spoke, though, that any mention of it had been brief and not detailed and that any knowledge she didn't have wasn't her fault, but his. Caden didn't care, though. At least, not right now.
"Magic is powerful, both good and bad. I know... And as far as kissing you..." he finally opened his eyes again and adjusted himself to lean on one arm as he raised a hand to poke at his chest where his scar was hidden under clothing, "I don't care and you aren't forcing me to be anything. You've done worse than zap me, love, and of your own choosing, too. But, don't forget I've seen it used for good as well."
Lowering his hand, he flopped back into the grass again, just staring up at the sky now, teeth gnashing together as he mulled over the crudeness of his language. "Love... I'm sorry. Things are just... hard, like you say. But I refuse to give up or see you give up. If you leave it partially done then you'll never know what will become of it. Unless it's a matter of...needing a break. Though, I don't know how good that would be for your studies... I don't know, either.
The choice is really yours. This is your life. Your magic, body, mind and heart. Do what makes you happy." Caden was blatantly disregarding the heated statements he'd made about not letting her leave and just how much he'd been contradicting himself, but all he said harbored his feelings on the matter. If she gave up, he knew there would be little he could do to help her on his own. Support her, sure, but there were wounds he could not heal and damage he could not undo.
"I'm sorry this is so stressful," he finally offered after another dip into silence. "Nothing worth attaining is ever going to be instantaneous or easy, love. It's up to you, though, to decide what you want." The presence of the mage peeking through a window from the hut at them went entirely unnoticed behind him, as did the pleased gleam in the man's eyes as Caden's own were trained upon Tiraris.
"Would you like me to come around more? Or maybe just...stay?"