Of Love and War (Goblin) -M-

[Zero]

Part of Senji was screaming for retaliation, how dare this lesser creature manhandle him like this! Maverick shook him and screamed at him, and the demon prince allowed his lover to rage. Had the other not let him do so earlier? The emotional upheaval was almost more than he could bare. The overwhelming feelings of love that his silver-eyed love had stirred in him had made him do something stupid, and now he couldn't take it back.

Tears had welled up and refused to be held back as crimson eyes gazed into silver ones. There was heartache, betrayal, and just as much fear in red eyes as mercury ones. Senji was so afraid that he was losing Maverick forever that he felt sick to his stomach. Why wouldn't he just let him go? All there was to be found was pain and agony.

"No I don't get it because you won't fucking tell me!" The words were an anguished sob. "I asked you, practically begged, for you to say it and what do you do? Pity was the word you used you son of a bitch! I think you've made it clear just how much I matter!"

[GoblinFae]

Maverick's lips parted slightly of their own accord as he gazed on in horror. As shattered as he felt inside, he had demolished Senji. The demon who had taught him, loved him, and fought with him was broken and all because of him. It made him want to scream and rage until he could bring the demon he knew was buried within show Senji's true colors. Yet, in turn it made him want to do other things to garner the same affect.

"Well what do you expect me to say?" he tried to bite out, his tone much softer now as his voice trembled slightly. "Would you have me destroy myself for you? Cast aside my pride and strip myself of all that I am for you? What do you want? What would you have me do after all these fucking years of...damn you!"

The demon let out a wordless scream and slammed his fist into the wall beside his lover's head. In his despair he had said more than he had meant to. He was always saying more than he should have. He never learned to keep his mouth shut and not it was going to bite him in the ass.

His hands clenched tightly while his head hung in shame and regret. Maverick's whole body hummed and shook with buried grief and sparking magic. "Damn you," he cursed in a whisper, sliding to his knees and beginning to sob, his hands falling limply at his sides. 'And damn me too.'

[Zero]

Maverick was right, he had completely destroyed Senji. The demon prince had endured unspeakable horror and agony to his physical form, but that had been but a candle next to the sun compared to the pain he felt in his heart right now. There was no one else on heaven, hell, or earth that could have hurt him so deeply. Yet through all that pain, the look and sound of his beloved's pain cut him all the more. What had he done?

As his lover spoke so tortuously, those crimson eyes closed, hot tears still streaming down his face. Guilt had his stomach tied up in knots. Because of his stupid mouth, he had put the only person that had ever claimed his heart through such agonized pain. Those eyes snapped open at the wordless scream and he flinched as the other's fist hit the wall next to his head.

Maverick sank to the floor with a final curse, and if Senji had thought his heart was broken before, looking down at his beautiful love broken in such a way proved that he hadn't known what it meant to have a broken heart.

"Oh Maverick..." Senji fell to his knees before his lover, eyes still releasing a flood down his cheeks. Tentatively he reached out to reverently cup Maverick's face in his hands. "I've already lost one of the few people I love...please..." He felt trembles running through his entire body, "I can't lose you too."

[GoblinFae]

His eyes slammed shut as he held his breath, trying desperately to hide tears and the weakness that they represented. Yet, despite it all, Maverick pressed his back hard against the hand touching him, craving it and more. As far as he knew it could be the very last time he felt such a caress from the demon prince.

Tears fell all the faster as the cursed "L-word" was once more uttered. Yet, the shaking of Senji's body forced Maverick's mercury orbs to once more open and reveal the defeat within them. "Fool," he hoarsely whispered, the frog in his throat making it hard to speak. "It was you that tried to leave me."

He reached out with one hand and slipped it under Senji's chin to pull the other male closer to him in first a soft kiss that quickly became more aggressive and desperate. As quickly as it had started it stopped and Maverick was yanking his lover close and crushing him to his chest, one hand buried in silken locks and another splayed across a strong back.

"Don't you fucking leave me. Don't you dare do that to me again Senji. I can't-I won't survive it again," he sobbed into Senji's shoulder. "I'm not going to want to, if you throw me away."

[Zero]

Senji was so overwhelmed by it all, everything had gone insane from the moment he returned to Maverick's side. Each and every tear that fell from those beautiful silver eyes scalded his tortured heart. Why had he opened his big mouth? It had been the most perfect moment of his entire life, coming together with the love of his life, wrapped in tender passion.

In an instant their lips had come together, first softly and then fiercely, but it was short-lived. As quickly as the kiss had come, he felt himself pulled into a crushing, almost painful, hug. His arms snaked around Maverick's neck, clinging to his lover with desperation. The demon prince was afraid to ever let go, he didn't want to lose this beautiful creature.

"I am a fool," Senji admitted, voice broken with grief, "I'm so sorry. You hurt me, and I wanted to run away from the pain, but I would never throw you away. I need you, Maverick. I just wanted to know that you needed me too."

[GoblinFae]

Maverick nodded his head, afraid to say the wrong words and ruin things forever. He clung to Senji like a sailor lost at sea clutching the raft that would save his life. His body still shook with sobs but now they were just as much of relief as they were of past pain. He realized now just how close he had come to losing Senji forever and all because of his stupid pride.

Hesitantly, his breath catching in his throat as his heart pounded harshly within his chest he whispered, "do you still want to know?"

[Zero]

Those whispered words might as well have been a deafening shout. Senji's heartbeats clashed like thunder in his chest as he and his lover clung to each other as if their very lives depended on not letting go in that moment - maybe that was even true on some level.

"More than anything..." He barely breathed, but the demon prince gathered his voice, and though his words came out broken and almost unrecognizable to his own ears, "...but I think I know."

How could he possibly try to pry those words from Maverick when it obviously caused the man he loved so much pain? That was selfish to try to make the other say the words just because it was what he wanted to hear.

[GoblinFae]

Again the demon nodded his head and kept his silence. It seemed for the moment at least the storm had passed. Now they both knew, or at least he hoped Senji truly knew. He found it odd though that it did not feel like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Maverick felt sad and weary.

His hands relaxed from their bone-crushing grip to something more soothing and gentle. Once more, Maverick ran his fingers through Senji's hair, quietly massaging his scalp as an unspoken apology for the pain he had caused.

He was still in shock at not only hearing that the prince needed him, something that was as close as saying he was loved without actually saying it, but also being given an actual, honest apology. It was the latter that made Maverick realize just how much he had broken his lover and that thought sickened him. Senji should never have been made to apologize. A prince bows to no one.

[Zero]

For the moment crisis seemed to have been averted. The prince's body still trembled from the stress and terror of nearly losing what he held most dear in all the world. The relief he felt now was tremendous, but the precarious nature of their relationship had been driven home. They truly were a pair balanced on the edge of a blade, even a tiny gust of wind could send them toppling to one side or the other.

Senji easily fell into the more relaxed embrace, nuzzling his face against Maverick's neck, relishing the fact that he could still hold his beautiful demon like this, after coming so close to losing him forever. He couldn't even decide who's fault it was, but it didn't matter. The crimson-eyed prince would have shouldered all the blame just to keep his lover there in his arms.

"Now what?" He murmured softly against the skin of his beloved's neck, unsure of what to do or say. Everything was so fragile right now, he feared breaking it with so much as a misplaced sigh.

[GoblinFae]

Now what indeed. Maverick knew no better than his lover how things should proceed. Were they supposed to act differently now? Were they supposed to follow some cliched romance and passionately fall into each others arms where all problems were solved and loose ends were neatly tied up? This was not a fairytale and they were both far from being heroes although Senji was prince.

'Guess that makes me the damsel,' he mused, making a mental note to never let Senji find out about that. He would never hear the end of it if his lover did. Refraining from sharing his thoughts, Maverick continued to hold Senji close to him, too afraid to let the man he had all but told he loved him read the desire within his silver eyes.

"Now, we rest and later business as usual," he quietly stated, a slight hesitancy coating his words. They both had gone through enough for one night. He did not feel they needed to delve any further into such a rocky topic. Maverick knew what he needed to know for now and he hoped Senji would likewise be satisfied. As it was though, he made no move to get up or to release his hold upon the other demon.

[Zero]

No, they would never be able to fall into some fairy tale where everything was alright. Happily ever afters weren't for their kind. Still, their position was precarious. Could they possibly resume everything as if none of this had happened? Senji didn't know, but at the words, he could only nod as he clung to Maverick all that much harder, how could he let go now?

His lover seemed to be just as reluctant to leave the embrace. The demon prince slowly quieted the trembling in his limbs, though there was a dull ache that remained in his chest. Crimson eyes were still moist, but the tears had stopped, and there was a bone-deep weariness hidden in those eyes.

"Let's start small. I'm starving." He murmured softly, stroking Maverick's hair softly, cradling his lover lovingly against him for a few moments longer before slowly pulling back to look at his face, into his eyes, and slowly Senji allowed a lazy smile to cross his lips before placing a soft kiss on Maverick.

[GoblinFae]

He kissed back, keeping it just as soft and chaste as he could manage before pulling himself to his feet. Maverick reached down and pulled Senji to his feet, not bothering to wait for his lover to protest or struggle up on his own. His arms came around to embrace the younger demon for a moment before stepping back, his hands still resting on warm shoulders.

"Eat in or go out? What time is it for that matter?" Maverick squinted towards the window, in hopes of trying answer his own question. "What meal is even the right one about this time of day? Night?"

[Zero]

Everything seemed a bit strange, like a daze or a dream. The soft tenderness warmed him, the feel of his lover's hands on his shoulders kept him grounded like an anchor to a fragile reality. One he wished to quickly put behind him. Senji had carefully cultivated his image and reputation for years, and in a single night everything he had built up seemed to have shattered and crumbled down around him.

"Let's eat in." The crimson-eyed prince murmured softly, no, going out wasn't what he needed just then. Before he dared brave the outside world he needed to get a grip on himself. Only the cold-blooded killer, the ruthless prince, could go out there. This strange, weak, vulnerable creature was safe and sheltered in this room, with his fierce lover as his protector. Though he knew that he was likely to pay dearly for this night over the years.

"I feel like breakfast, don't care what time it is." Breakfast would be good, eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits, hotcakes...something.

[GoblinFae]

"As you wish, my prince," Maverick responded softly without any of the mocking tone that usually dripped from his tongue when he uttered Senji's title. He did not move away right away though as he allowed his hands to rub soothingly up and down his lover's arms. It was a gesture as much for Senji's comfort as it was his own. He needed this. His heart still hammered within his chest, fearing this all a dream for he could not believe the other demon was so cruel as to deceive him so well. If it was all a ruse, Maverick did not want to know. His lover had gotten too good even for him to notice.

He quickly shook the thoughts from his mind, wishing to suffer them no longer. "Rest," he ordered, his lips pressed teasingly close to Senji's ear. "I will ensure you have what you like." His lips curled slightly as his eyes shone warmly before he pulled away from the demon to step out into the hall.

[Zero]

Normally Senji would have been annoyed for Maverick to refer to his royal title, but usually the demon would have been using it to mock him. Right now there wasn't even a hint of ridicule or disrespect. For now there was just the soothing gesture of his lover's hands moving gently up and down his arms, and for that, the crimson-eyed demon was immeasurably grateful. Everything was still too raw for him to deal with keeping up his usual fronts or masks.

A soft tremble quaked through him to feel Maverick's lips pressed close to his hear as he softly ordered him to rest. No one ordered a prince, but right now, for now he could obey this simple demand - because he wanted to. At least, that's what he told himself as he watched forlornly as his lover left him there alone, though he knew the other would return soon enough.

As the door closed he sighed and once more removed what little clothing he had managed to get on before that confrontation. Naked, he slipped into bed under the covers and closed his eyes. A soft smirk played on his lips as he thought that they would have to get fresh sheets, these ones had been thoroughly soiled. Still, a peaceful expression relaxed onto his face as he once again drifted to sleep waiting on his lover to come back.

[GoblinFae]

Maverick paced the hall silently, trying to decide what to do when a muffled gasp caught his ears. A wide-eyed serving girl had happened up the stairs to care for her duties when she had noticed his form flickering in and out of the shadows. Her gaze though was not focused on his face but something much lower. It was then that Maverick remembered his state of dress.

On any other day, the demon would have taken pleasure in teasing her and seeing her cheeks warm further. But, the love of another demon that resided not too far from him tamed his usual wild ways. It was too soon to be testing Senji's strength and patience. Maverick dared not break his lover so soon as telling him he was loved.

Taking advantage of the girl's shock though, he quickly ordered up enough food for two and carefully listed all of the demon prince's favorites, surprised that he had forgotten none of it in their time apart. It seemed that Maverick knew more about Senji than he had ever cared to admit. Only now that he had been broken into admitting his love did he see all the things he had been trying to ignore.

Unable to wait for her to return with the food, Maverick slid back into his room. It pleased him immensely to find his lover asleep in his bed. He made no move to disturb him as he gathered up his robe and cinched the belt about his waist. The girl had already seen him once. It would not due to tempt Senji's anger by discovering another had been catching free looks on a body he would deem belonged solely to him.

She came in what seemed like an age, yet no time at all for the demon had been scarcely breathing as he watched the other sleep. A whispered word, a transferred tray, and a quickly closed door on curious eyes was all it took to gather a breakfast fit for a king of thieves let alone a prince of demons. Maverick sunk gently onto the bed, quietly calling for his love to waken as the tray was placed across his own lap.

"Food's here."

[Zero]

Sleep would be considered a generous description of what Senji just received, more like a catnap. Crimson eyes flickered open groggily as the other's weight joined him on the bed, ears bathing in the sweet sound of his lover's voice calling him softly to wakefulness. Reaching a hand up he rubbed at his eyes with a soft groan.

Sixteen years he'd had nothing to do except sleep, rest, and recover from his torture. Seemed to him like his body still felt more heavy than it should, his eyes more strained, his soul too raw. Perhaps he'd come back to Maverick too soon, this entire disaster could have been avoided if he'd showed some self-restraint. Too late now.

Not to mention, he could smell breakfast and his mouth immediately began watering. "Do I smell hotcakes smothered in blueberry syrup?" He gave another sniff, crimson eyes lighting up. "Mm...I do. Sausage too. Did you remember the clementines? What about sliced strawberries?" Senji couldn't hide his excitement and enthusiasm if he tried - so he didn't try.

[GoblinFae]

The older demon chuckled deeply in amusement at his lover's questions as he smiled fondly. "Indeed you do, and how could you accuse me of forgetting my prince's favorites? Far from a knight in shining armor Senji, that does not make me completely inept," he teased.

Maverick picked up a small silver bowl, holding it cupped in the palm of his hand as he used his other hand delicately chose a sliver of strawberry with grate care. "I even brought you a treat. If you're good and close your eyes I might even let you have some of it." He winked and smirked while waiting for Senji to decide to obey or not.

[Zero]

Senji scoffed slightly as he eyed Maverick with an odd gleam in his eyes. The prince really couldn't argue about his lover's statement regarding knights in shining armor - he certainly wasn't a prince charming. "Not inept, just really old," Senji smirked, "Dementia and all that, my pet."

The crimson-eyed demon bristled slightly at the command, balking at the idea of being told what to do by anyone. Forcing down his initial reaction, Senji let his eyes slid closed with a last, smoldering look at his lover. Obeying anyone was not something he was fond of doing, but he trusted Maverick explicitly. Besides, he'd make his beautiful demon make it up to him later.

[GoblinFae]

Maverick laughed at being called old and shook his head good-naturedly. It pleased him to no end to see Senji willing to play along. With a soft smile he dipped the cool fruit into the warmed white chocolate in the bowl in his hand before delicately brushing it against his lovers lips.

"Open," he urged softly. "You'll like this."