At Least They're Not Apples

[Zero]

Tesha gave a dry laugh at Kenneth's assessment of who Constance was going to be cross with for their late arrival. "Yeah right. You're the golden boy in mom's eyes, don't worry. You hung the moon and stars, can't do any wrong. If anyone's going to get yelled at for not feeding someone properly it's me. After all, I'm a woman, should have magically produced you some fantastic food out of thin air or something."

Okay, maybe she was exaggerating. A little. Dizzy ran over and crawled up her clothing to perch on his ranger's shoulder as Tesha managed to get to her feet. Much as she enjoyed being out in the fresh air and sunshine, she did miss her bed mightily just then.

[GoblinFae]

Kenneth snorted and shook his head. "I'm the man here, Tesha and I'm supposed to provide the food to cook. Of course no one expects you to just suddenly produce food. You're not a cow after all. Genders aside we are both rangers. She should know after marrying one that sometimes we have rough patches in the food department. Neither of us are likely to be yelled at though if we get home without me taking any extra detours that is."

[Zero]

"Yeah, well if you don't want to take any extra detours I vote we let Brennus do all the navigating from here on out." Tesha huffed softly as she began gathering their things for the trip home. She was fuming silently about the whole man thing he'd just blurted out. As if Tesha wasn't perfectly capable of providing the food!

[GoblinFae]

Kenneth groaned as assisted with throwing his own items back into his rucksack haphazardly. "I'm never going to live getting us lost down am I? This is going to be one of the tavern night stories for the barracks again isn't it?" He shuddered in an over-exaggerated fashion as he recalled other stories of his clumsiness or mistakes that had circulated about on nights of relaxed drunkenness. "S'not fair."

[Zero]

"Life's not fair." Tesha grumbled. For instance, her life felt insanely unfair at that moment. Most of her time trapped underground when she longed for fresh air, sunshine, and trees. That didn't even scratch the unfairness of being in love with her best friend and feeling wholly inadequate to deal with it. Especially when, at least to her, Kenneth seemed very unsure about the whole thing.

[GoblinFae]

"Very true," he sighed softly. He stretched then, his eyes to the sky as he watched Brennus circle overhead. "How long do you figure before we're back again? I don't know about you but I'm sure I could really use a bath. Probably smell like a horse's back end at this point."

[Zero]

"Not more than a couple hours, I'd bet." Tesha sighed as she started walking. She was hungry, tired, and frustrated. The sooner they got home, the better. For once. "Yeah, you do kind of stink. I can't decide if I want a hot bath or breakfast more. I'm starving and filthy and this mission sucked."

[GoblinFae]

Kenneth snorted and shook his head. "Why thank you for your honesty. Always appreciated, Tesha." He shook his head and chuckled despite himself though. "Well why not combine the two. I'm sure food in the bath can't go amiss. A little pampering never killed anyone...I think."

[Zero]

"What else are friends for?" Tesha quipped cheekily. Things were a little weird and tense right now. She'd been afraid of that. It was why she had kept it bottled up for so long, and she wasn't sure if she should have spoken up sooner or kept her mouth shut. All she could do was try, very hard, to act like everything was normal. "Besides, I slept with my nose practically in your armpit. I'm lucky to still be alive!"

[GoblinFae]

"Oy!" the ranger cried out. "It's not me who chose to fall asleep there. Besides it doesn't smell that bad," Kenneth continued to protest. He lifted an arm to take a sniff before blinking rapidly and crinkling his nose with a cough. "Yes-yes it is! I take it back. Your resilience is truly amazing my friend. Truly!"

[Zero]

Tesha couldn't help but cackle at his antics. She was still tense and worried about how the previous night would affect her relationship with Kenny, but for now things seemed to be almost normal. They were just goofing off and joking around like usual. Hopefully things wouldn't slip completely back, though. She didn't want to go back to normal she wanted better than normal. "Well maybe you should consider eating in the bath if you're that hungry and that smelly!"

[GoblinFae]

Kenneth scowled slightly and shook his head. "As if I could manage to sneak one of your mother's wonderful meals to the public baths without having to sacrifice the majority of it to the other vultures lollygagging about." He huffed and slumped ahead in defeat. "It'll have to be a bath first if I want to not offend anyone's noses. Your father would probably have me thrown out for putting him off his appetite or something."

[Zero]

Tesha couldn't help but laugh. "Don't act so down about it. I think I'll take a bath first too, honestly. Then we can both sit down and gorge on whatever mom's got cooked up. I bet it is delicious. Shadows but I want one of her thick venison stews, you know the one, right? 'Course you do. Or maybe a nice steak, or one of her pastas." Tesha was making herself drool slightly, if she were being honest with herself.

[GoblinFae]

The ranger hummed in pleasure. "I would maim for a loaf of her fresh bread." He groaned at the thought of it. "Topped with fresh fruit and cream. Kill me Tesha, I don't think I can suffer the idea of another second without her cooking. This world is too much for me," Kenneth lamented as he mock-staggered into her, draping an arm over her shoulder as he stumbled.

[Zero]

On cue, Tesha's stomach grumbled loudly at the mention of her mother's bread. The idea of fruit and cream on top made the young ranger groan unhappily. Why did they have to get lost and lose a day? She might have disliked being stuck underground in the city they called home, but damn if she didn't miss her mother's food.

With a mighty sigh, and slight stagger, Tesha put an arm around Kenneth's waist as he leaned against her. "We should stop talking about food, we're just making each other hungrier. Our own stomachs will eat us before we get back at this rate."

[GoblinFae]

"Might be worth it to cease this endless agony," he groaned dramatically. His own stomach also growled long, low, and loud for them both to hear. Kenneth glared disappointedly down at his own torso. "Even my own body will not let me hear the end of my slight directional miscalculation. Oh the horror!"

[Zero]

"You're such a drama queen." Tesha laughed softly, nudging Kenneth in the side. At least he knew how to lighten the mood. Laughing at him was easier than being completely cranky.

"Next time we should definitely pack extra rations though. Just in case. Especially the way you eat." It had been impossible to resist teasing him. Always was.

[GoblinFae]

Kenneth cleared his throat. "King," he corrected her pointedly. "Drama king. And are you calling me fat, Tessie? I resent that remark!" He ran his hands down his sides as if trying to demonstrate his svelte figure. "Look at me, I'm perfect! Why I'm practically wasting away as it is!"

[Zero]

Tesha snorted and gave Kenneth a side-long look. He wasn't fat, but she wasn't going to tell him that with him acting all puffed up like a peacock. "Definitely a drama queen, and one could navigate the whole of Zenith's Grasp before you would waste away."

[GoblinFae]

"Your vote of confidence in me is truly inspiring," Kenneth deadpanned monotonously. "In fact you should definitely switch into a position that would provide you with more opportunities to public speak. You'd be a great motivator for the youth of Clockwork City."