Latent Dream (Summervale) [Cramler] [M]

[GoblinFae]

He blushes and shivered at having his shirt removed. For a moment self-consciousness overtook him to be even that much bare but Fletcher's fervor and interest was confidence-building for the nobleman. The bodyguard truly did want Theo. It wasn't just pretty words but hungry kisses and warm touches. Each were returned tenfold. What Theo lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm.

When he could finally disentangle himself from his lover's arms to venture lower, he maintained the same tenderness and care he had from the moment they had first begun that desperate, hopeful kiss back in his bedroom. Fletcher was lavished in gentleness and attention as Theodore poured his heart into loving on the man. With every point of connection he hoped that his beloved felt and understood just how ardently he was loved. 

And when it was over, he peppered kisses back up his chest to offer a slow, deep kiss before collapsing into his side. Fletcher's blanket was tugged up over them as he nuzzled in close. Theo craned his neck back some so he could read his lover even in his more tired state. He hesitated to say anything and ruin this intimate silence. Everything felt so perfect even as he still felt rather shy despite what he had done. But he pressed a kiss to Fletcher's shoulder.

"We'll have to practice more in the future so that I may improve methinks," he quipped. "But uh hopefully your sanity is a bit more restored and I am not quite the tart you once accused me of being," he teased with a relaxed grin. 

[Nightcrawler]

Well after Theo had stopped and curled up next to him, Fletch lay panting and writhing and grinning up at the ceiling. His mouth worked but the words wouldn't come out — not that they were in any sort of coherent order in his addled state. The arm that wasn't occupied holding Theo against him anchored him to the bed by a shaking fistful of sheets as though he thought he'd fly away without a tether. Slowly, wide-eyed in disbelief, he released them, turned, and cast the man a prolonged look of wild adoration. He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on his forehead, reveling in the scent of his hair. He chuckled breathlessly, still so convinced that this was a dream.

"There's no way you're real," he mumbled as he drew away, only half-registering that Theo couldn't read him. He blinked. Smiled a sleepy, vacant, and supremely pleased smile. "Sanity's restored. Think you took the rest of my mind with it, though. 'N...there's still time to be a tart if you run around with my eyepatch," he added with a quiet little laugh. "Theo, I...No. Never mind it. Just come here, you gorgeous thing." Fletch wasn't certain he knew what he was about to say, just that he'd meant to put words to a feeling. A powerful one at that. But he was useless at talk right now, and so he'd show the man what he meant. He rolled towards him, wrapping him up and pulling him closer in a warm, strong embrace.

[GoblinFae]

Theo giggled softly back, blushing bright pink at such tenderness even as he burrowed in close and tight beneath Fletcher. He felt indescribably safe in the man's arms. It was a feeling he'd never truly had before and as exhausted and giddy and bashful as he felt, it also made him feel a bit weepy as everything overwhelmed him all at once.

He tangled his legs with Fletcher's and scratched lightly at his back. A deep, pleased sigh eased from his lungs as all the tension from the last several months perhaps even years just melted away.

"My head will not fit through doorways if you keep calling me such things...don't stop." He grinned against his shoulder and giggled softly. "I could fall asleep right here, right now just like this if we're not careful. Thank you."

[Nightcrawler]

A laugh purred through his chest at the thought. He squeezed tighter, burrowing into Theo's hair, eye now just a squinting slit. The man was right. He'd easily fall asleep like this too, wrapped up in warmth and ecstasy. But he didn't want to let go. He didn't want to say goodbye to whatever this was that just felt so unbelievably right. His gaze blurred and he grunted and blinked, taking a deep breath to try to stave off this enervation. When it came back into focus, he scowled. 

"No. Fuck off," he mumbled at the bracelet that dangled tauntingly within his view, this time knowing full well that Theo couldn't read him. One fine silver strand glittered in the moonlight amongst all the black and brown, judging him. "Make up your mind, arsehole. Stay or leave. You can't have both." He shut his eye and buried his head and wrapped his arm closer around Theo to tuck the stupid thing out of sight, but the damage was done, and now he was left with silence and questions. 

Twelve years. Twelve years and he'd never once felt like this. Never been held this way, or touched with this much care. He didn't know what it meant. He didn't know why, and that scared him. He shook his head slowly, nose rubbing up against Theo's pretty head, and blinked away that gut-wrenching confusion. Now wasn't the time. Who knew how rare these moments would be between him and the man he'd yearned for for so long? He had to stay here. Couldn't wander off down some dark path.

Couldn't let them fall asleep, either, though.

Slowly, he extracted himself from the tangle of limbs and moved far enough back to be read, propping himself up on an elbow. "I think I'm the one who's supposed to thank you, love," he murmured. "Got to be careful though. That about knocked me out. A credit to you, I suppose," he added with a cheeky smirk. His eye traveled lovingly over Theo's features, drinking the man in. He reached up and brushed an errant strand from Theo's eyes, tucking it behind his ear, all the while pointedly avoiding the sight of that bracelet. "Not trying to push it, promise, but...you sure you don't need anything? This what you want? I'm just not in the habit of leaving a man hanging."

[GoblinFae]

He whined softly in protest at Fletcher's retreat but settled easily into the bed when he didn't move far. His hand rubbed his chest though, seeking connection in however which way he could find it. Fletcher was so warm and present and solid. 

It had been fifteen years since he had last laid in someone's arms, last kissed, last desired to spend the rest of forever in that singular moment. Elijah and Fletcher could not have been more different though. Everything felt so much more intense with Fletcher too and Theo could not help but wonder again if it was the loneliness, maturity, or the man himself that made it feel like this. He felt desperate like a thirsting man in the desert with no water. It scared him and thrilled him and worried him that if Fletcher knew how deeply he felt, he'd leave or ridicule him. So he kept the intensity unspoken.

His hazel eyes though so full of fire and love burned for Fletcher though. Once more he blushed and gave a tiny bashful but proud smile at the praise. The smile only grew with the tenderness bestowed upon him. Theo even turned his head to kiss Fletcher's palm for a moment after he had finished. 

"You're not pushing, it's alright. And believe me I am interested in you and such things of this nature generally speaking. It's just that..." a bloom of redness went down his neck and blossomed over his chest and shoulders and not just over his face and ears. Theo focused on Fletcher's chest rather than his face in his own nervous embarrassment. "I'm too nervous I'll get us caught or you'll hate it or any number of things. I am glad you enjoyed...what we did. Very glad."

[Nightcrawler]

Fletch chuckled. His fingers brushed along Theo's jaw and he tilted the man's chin up to steal another kiss. When he drew back again, his crooked smirk had broadened. "Scared I'll make you scream and you won't even know it," he teased, basking in how red the nobleman had gone. Then his expression softened again, and he leaned a little further away to give Theo some space. "Don't worry. I'll leave it be. But...offer's always there. All you've got to do is ask."

He shifted, propping himself up a little further to stave off sleep. His fingers trembled again and he balled them into a fist to make it stop. He blinked hard and swallowed the urge to drink away. Just a little longer. He could wait just a little longer. He'd find a distraction and he'd just keep holding it off. He cocked his head, looking Theo over. "Well, then. We've got until neither of us can stay awake. You want ink and scar stories now? I've seen you looking. I know you've got questions."

[GoblinFae]

Theo followed as Fletcher tried to give him space and took the man's struggling hand to hold in his own. His thumb rubbed soothingly over the man's rougher knuckles and an unconscious soft, warm smile spread across his features. He'd always wanted to hold hands with someone like this, to experience this kind of domestic closeness and intimacy and now that he had it he found himself insatiable. Theo's hunger for this man was not quelled but instead inflamed.

"How can I not look when you're so unrelentingly attractive? It is a constant struggle to remember breathe in your presence. I have ruined so many hours of book reading in favor of drinking you in."

He brought his hand up to kiss his fingers gently. "Tell me. I want to know every inch of you and all there is to know until you are as familiar to me as my own self...I still can't believe this is real. I'm going to wake up and it's going to have all been a dream."

[Nightcrawler]

Theo's mention of the book sparked a memory: a day spent in the sun at the changing of the seasons, with him and Neish laughing and fighting and Theo watching as he pretended to read the same page. But that was so long ago. He'd only just arrived. Surely...

"Fuck," Fletcher chuckled. "You've been doing that for ages, too. The book thing. Have I really been that blind? Losing my touch." A dimple formed in his cheek as his smile turned a rare shade of bashful. He watched in quiet awe at the tenderness with which Theo held his hand and kissed his fingers. How did he do it? How was he so perfect? That twisted up feeling rose in him again at how very new this was to such an aged man, and such an experienced one as he. His face contorted in spite of his best efforts to shove it all away. "It doesn't feel real, no," he managed. "What you said. That you didn't think you'd ever get this far? I didn't either. And now that it's here, I don't know what to do with it."

Fletch pulled Theo's hand forward and returned the kisses with stubbly ones of his own. He brought the man's fingers to his face and placed them at the base of that long, ugly, jagged scar. "Top to bottom, then," he said, his quiet cockiness returning. "This was the handiwork of Ven's brother, if you'd believe it. Big guy. Grumpy. No sense of humor. Wasn't in his right mind and came at me with a fucking pole arm like a maniac. Ven patched it up as best he could, but, well...a man cuts your eyeball in half in the middle of nowhere, there's only so much you can do. You ever want to meet him, by the way, he's in Adela. The I'kanans adopted him — I'm sure you can guess why. He's sweet on a woman there. I think it's why he's stuck around with them."

He moved Theo's hand down to the split across his lip — a very old and faded one. "Here's where I fell and ate shit on a barrel when Rolls was trying to teach me fencing. Er — Roland. That's my brother. He's why I'm any good at, well...anything. This one you know, so I'll skip it," he continued, grazing past the fresh scar in his shoulder as the both of them skirted that painful memory. "Branded with a cattle iron by Alastair — other brother, thank fuck he's dead — for being a little shit. Here's where I got shot the first time. Don't recommend it. The dots on this arm are every week I was in prison for smuggling. Also don't recommend it. Mermaid with the tits — first tattoo, thought it was cheeky, turned out every sailor and his mum had the same bloody thing already."

He stopped with Theo's hand on his chest, his grin now fully returned as he flashed the man a mirthful glance. "It's a lot. I'll have you stuck doing this for hours. Keep going?"

[GoblinFae]

His face flickered in various shades of curiosity and sympathy. Each scar was touched with the most gentle reverence even as a shadow fell over Theo's face at the newest scar.

"Branded?" He asked his voice sounding rough with more than just overuse. "How many siblings do you have exactly? Why dots? Did you do them or did they? Were the tattoos particularly painful to get?"

Theo rubbed his hand over Fletcher's chest and blushed. "Sorry, a million and one questions. Getting ahead of myself."

He leaned up and gave him another loving kiss. "You've had a lot on your mind. I will accept with great pride I have been able to keep myself so hidden, even if it was from the one I wanted to see me most. It was never supposed to be more than glances...my resolve is apparently very poor," he laughed. 

[Nightcrawler]

"Branded, yeah. Like...with a hot iron. D'you do that here? And it's six including me, poor Mum. Alastair, Rolls, me, then Zoey, Izzie, and Lella. Alastair was...kind of my dad's lackey. Knew he was inheriting the Fletcher family business, I guess, and acted just as mean as Dad to prove himself — "

He paused. Cocked his head again, and one eyebrow. "Well. Now you know my surname," he added sheepishly. "Erm..." Fletch laughed a little at the absurdity of it. "Welcome to my bed. Nice to meet you. Name's...Devlin. Devlin Fletcher. Used to go by Dev, or Fletch. I...forgot what we were talking about," he admitted.

[GoblinFae]

"Aye, I know it. It's for cattle...and slaves." He pursed his lips in displeasure before shifting and pressing a soft kiss to the hold scar. The darkness over his brow didn't linger long as Fletcher shared his name and made quite the joke of it.

"Dev...Fletch...Mmm, what do you want to be called? When it's just us two? Or something else entirely? I don't think I can manage tart for you," he teased with a crinkle of his nose. "Perhaps scallywag." He stuck his tongue out and giggled before drawing him into another kiss and sitting up to situate himself with his back against the wall and the blanket in his lap. A beckoning finger crooked at Fletcher to invite him closer before patting his lap if he so desired to lay there.

"Sorry, just trying not to fall asleep yet. Still want you close if you do."

[Nightcrawler]

"Dunno," Fletch shrugged, still watching Theo like a basking cat. "Anything you like, I s'pose. Everything sounds good coming from your pretty mouth. Curse at me, call me names, call me anything. Except...maybe not Mister Fletcher." He shivered as the man parted from him, but it had little to do with winter's chill. Then it came again, this time right up his spine and down his arms. The whole of him felt like a lead weight. And he'd grown thirsty. So thirsty. He sighed, brow furrowing in disgust as he averted his eye. "Love...give me a minute," he murmured as he sat up and began to shift out of bed. "It's getting bad."

He stood, hiking his still unbuttoned trousers up with one hand, not bothering to dress again in his urgency to reach the balm that would soothe the shakes. He crossed the room and dug through his coat until he found his flask. With his back turned on Theo, he leaned against the wall and drank just enough, then corked it and let the stuff work its magic. The cool wood soothed his glistening brow as he waited, trembling and frightened of what he'd done to himself. Of how far he'd let this go. Of how very like Ven he'd become after promising to himself that he'd never do this.

And now...now he would just end up doing the same thing to Theo. Unless it stopped.

"Shit," Fletch muttered.

He stowed the flask and turned back to the man he'd fallen so very hard for — the man he'd give the world for. Even in the dim light, it was clear as day how his guilt weighed on him. He returned to his bed, opting to sit at the head of it with enough space between them for Theo to read him clearly, though he found now that he couldn't meet the man's gaze anymore. Where did he even start? How did he even say it?

"Theo...I've never gone as far as I am now. I don't think I know how to stop anymore. And...with what's coming up...I don't think I want to, either. I can't face him without it. And...and I've been in your shoes. And you deserve better than to watch this happen."

[GoblinFae]

Theo watched it all in knowing silence. There was no judgement in his gaze and the moment Fletcher was settled again, he scooted closer so that their knees just barely brushed together. He took the other man's hands in his own and tilted his head enough to try and catch Fletcher's gaze.

"My heart," he started with a gentle laugh, "if I could not see how much you care for me, I might think you just got what you wanted of me before trying to push me away already. You have as bad timing as I do."

He gave his hands a tight squeeze. "But, in all fairness I am not you. And you are not him. And this," he motioned towards where the flask was stowed with his chin, "this is not good. That's true. But, you also won't be facing him alone. I'm here and I will be here. I promised you that before all this. I maintain and reaffirm that promise now. We'll get through this and we'll see where it goes from there. Just stay with me here in this moment. If you can be patient with my drama and hellfire I can be patient with your grief and mourning. And when spring comes and we are lighter some of our burdens we can sit together and discuss where things should go. All I ask of you is your honesty and your willingness to try. Everything else we can figure out together. Just as we have been doing, yes?"

[Nightcrawler]

It was the first time he'd really heard it. Theo had said all of it before, and Fletcher, who of the two of them had been the one to drive home that the other man never listened, had truly done the same back to him all along. But listening now, it finally sunk in. Theo wasn't a weak thing to be protected. Theo didn't expect the world of him while repaying him with table scraps. Theo was here. Present. An equal. Someone just as strong. And for the first time in his life, Fletcher wasn't alone.

His lips parted, but what did he even say? He shook his head slowly, not even knowing why he did it, and as he did his mouth began to quiver. And then suddenly he couldn't contain it anymore, and with one hand clapped to his mouth in the shame of it all, he began to weep.

[GoblinFae]

He opened his legs and arms to make space for the other man. Fletcher was dragged and folded into the comfort and safety of Theo's arms. He held the back of the other man's head and rubbed his back while tears ran scaldingly down his neck and shoulder. 

"Let it out, beloved. It's alright, I've got you. You're safe here. I've got you. You've been so strong for so long all alone. You can lean on me now. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

[Nightcrawler]

Theo's embrace drew the poison with an intensity that he wasn't ready for. He was a weepy, snotty mess in the man's arms, face burrowed into his leg as so much grief released all at once. And still, he felt the shame of it. He was the child he'd told Theo not to be. Or...maybe just the one his dad had beat out of him. He certainly gripped the blanket like one, and sobbed like one, and desired comfort like one. After it had all come out, he lay there quietly, forehead pressed hard into Theo's thigh like that touch would never be enough. 

Never. Never had this happened. Never had a lover held him like this. And all it came out as at the other end of this release was...anger. More disdain to pile on top of what he already had begun to throw at Ven's memory. He sat up slowly. Wiped his face with his hands, then the sheets. Without saying a word, he slid his arms around Theo and pulled him back down to the bed and held him tight once more. He tucked his face in between the man's jaw and shoulder, stubble prickling as he nuzzled in. "Thank you," he mumbled to an ear that couldn't hear him.

[GoblinFae]

Theo let every drop to be wrung out of Fletcher as he continued to murmur words of comfort and soothed him with gentle hands. At one point he took to scratching lightly at the other man's scalp and combing his fingers through his hair as he once had remembered his own mother doing to him as a boy. Elijah too had done it for him a few times and he had always secretly loved it.

When Fletcher pulled him down, Theo went without protest and returned to embracing his lover. The vibrations against his skin were familiar even if he could not decipher them. But, he froze, his arms tightening and stiffening around Fletcher because perhaps it was just his imagination but for the briefest moment he was sure he had heard Fletcher speaking. His brain could not comprehend the words but the sound had been there and his heart began to hammer with concern that he was losing his mind. Or maybe he just imagined it in his desperation to feel close and connected to Fletcher. 

Either way the replying response came out of his mouth before the realization had even fully registered. "You're welcome, my heart."

[Nightcrawler]

It took him a second to realize what he'd just heard, but when he did, his entire body spasmed from the shock. Then, slowly, he extricated himself from the embrace, bringing Theo into focus. "Wait," he grunted, and drew back a little further to look the man over, holding him firmly by the shoulder. The realization of what had happened wholly displaced any residual sting of grief. "I'm sorry. Did you just hear me?"

[GoblinFae]

Theo was equally frozen in a bit of shock and stared back at Fletcher quite stiffly as if afraid to move or breathe too harshly. "I. Don't. Know," he replied in an equally anxious and almost clipped tone, his eyes wide in uncertainty.

"Like I felt you talk and I recognize kind of the feeling but...I don't know if I imagined it. But, I think I—this is so stupid—It's not possible—I probably just imagined it, but I thought I heard your voice. Not the words. But,—" he cut himself off abruptly and shook his head again. "Forget it. I'm sorry. You were comfortable too. I didn't mean to bother you."

[Nightcrawler]

Fletcher's eye darted between Theo's, expression growing more and more intense as the man went on. And then Theo went small and started running from the idea, and Fletcher's grip tightened on his shoulder as if to keep him from backing away from hope. "I don't care. This is more important. Come here, we're trying it again." He didn't bother to wait for Theo's answer before wrapping his arms around the man and snugging back up close. He buried his face like he'd done before, planting an affirming kiss on his neck before speaking again. "How about this? Can you hear this?"