She was so calm in that brief moment, he almost didn't see the streak of emotion that flared up. As she stood, he stared, wide-eyed as she moved to leave. Glancing to the mage, he hummed his agreement to her statement and got up to follow her out. She didn't stop right at the door, though, and he was sure the situation was very dire indeed if she truly wanted privacy in this.
Finally alone, save for the trees surrounding them, he slowed just as she did. She'd been so quiet, though, that he was trying to think of something, anything that he might be able to say. But then she was grabbing him. She was kissing him, too, and he wasn't quite sure at first where she was going with all of this. As she pulled away and rested her head against him, though, he raised his arms up around her to rest lightly at her back.
"Tiraris... this is what we've been searching for, right? Nobody ever said he had to be a perfect person, but if he can help you, he can help you. Trust... you just have to trust him enough to teach you, nothing more, right?" But she carried on, and all he could really do was stand there helplessly for a time as she let things out.
"I'm sure I'll find some way to keep myself busy," he assured. "I would never just leave you here. I'm sure it won't be that bad, Ti--" And then she was off. His face began to fall as her words and questions cut deep to the core, painful now with what she was saying.
He'd certainly thought of most of these things before himself, but it was causing an ache in his chest to hear them from her. As she pulled away and her voice started rising he just let his hands slip back down to his sides while he stared at her. The look in those bright, violet eyes was suddenly quite hurt. Not at her, but himself for knowing he had a part in her questioning him and their relationship.
As she fell quiet again in words, he almost wished she had not. The shaky, heaving breaths as she tried to calm herself, the look on her face as she tried not to cry and how she could not even bring herself to look at him just tugged at his heart all the more. With a quivering lower lip, he hung his head and carefully reached out a hand to her, to press lightly to her arm. "It is real," he whispered, gaze locked upon the ground beyond her as he fought the tears threatening to spill forth. What are you saying? What could you possibly say to her to fix this? She's upset. She's scared. I've given her reason not to trust in us, somehow, haven't I?
"Is it that you don't want me to try or that you don't want us to try?" he choked out, his voice uneven and nostrils flaring as he tried to calm himself from flying off the handle with the burst of emotion he could already feel internally. "All I want is to be with you. If you cannot live with that...then I don't know what to say, but a family is not what's important to me if I cannot make you happy. If... if you don't feel as I do for you, then I can't do anything about that, but I do not doubt that you are my match." He hissed lightly between his teeth at the mere thought of it, of possibly being rejected by her now.
"Tiraris... My soulmate does not tie me down... drag me down, anything. All I care about is your happiness! If I cannot make you happy... If I don't make you happy, then maybe... Maybe I'm not... the... the one for you," he choked out, each word just driving needles into his heart. The hand at her arm slowly fell again as he took a small step away from her to further hang his head. Maybe she does not see in me what I see in her. Such a beautiful person. Nobody's perfect, but I love her so dearly... perhaps I was wrong in thinking she could ever feel so completely the same.
"Much as you might be led to believe about me... it's not about the physical. Touch... is necessary, but I would never push you, Tiraris. I will always respect your wishes. Whatever you may ever want from me, you'd only need to ask and it will be done, but we are real. This is real." But... her affections. Her words. Her love. It can't all be fake, there's no way... what reason would she have? If she will try for me why is she questioning me? If she feels for me, then why do we torture ourselves so?
"I want you to be happy. That is all I want and all I will ever push for. I want you to find someone to help you, to teach you, and this man just may be your ticket to freedom, Tiraris. It would be best for you, I think, if you stayed. You need to stay and learn. Learn the control you want. Then, move on with your life.
"I will not force you, but so far this has been the only promising thing we've found... and don't worry about me. I want you to be comfortable, I know it's a stressful thing and it will probably take a lot out of you... but I will stay as near as I can, as always... if you wish for me to." His rant over, he just stood quietly, unmoving and afraid of looking up to her.