Latent Dream (Summervale) [Cramler] [M]

[GoblinFae]

Theodore strained to keep focused on what Fletcher was saying. Every jarring movement threatened to distract enough into missing crucial points. And yet he continued to stare practically unblinking so as to not miss a single word. By the time he was done, Theodore could feel his eyes burning and yet it was nothing in comparison to the deep sinking weight that slipped from his chest to his stomach. 

"No," he intoned at last. "You're right. I do not know what it is like to go without basic necessities. I do not know what it is like to have to fight for inedible scraps just to survive. I do not know the injustices that so many people face, firsthand.

"I recognize that I am very privileged. Disgustingly so in your eyes I'm sure. And yes the people downstairs treat me warmly most likely more out of obligation than true desire to. You're not wrong on any of this. But is my lack of experience and understanding such a vast barrier that it is impossible for me to comprehend what grievous error I've made towards you?

"If you want to leave, you can of course leave. But, I do not wish you to. I see no reason for you to unless truly whatever this horrible thing I have done is just so reprehensible that you cannot stand to be in my presence.

"But please," he swallowed thickly his voice cracking even as he pressed on, "please even if it is too great a thing to ask of you, tell me what I have done wrong to you."

[Nightcrawler]

Fletcher stood still, hand to his forehead and eye averted, as he wearily listened to all that Pretty Boy had to say. And it was all so perfect. Of course it was perfect. Why would it be anything other than that? Why have flaws when he could reply with grace and precision? Why argue like a human fucking being — furious and ugly and messy — when the man could sound like he'd just read his own words from a book? Even his confusion at Fletcher's mention of leaving was insufferable.

Fletch glanced up between the cracks in his fingers, then dropped his hand to his side so Pretty Boy could read him. "You're serious?" he growled. "Fine. Fucking spell it out for you then." He pointed at the basket. "No one is this nice. Life isn't this good. There's always a catch. Maybe not for you, but for people like me? Always a fucking catch. And I am...very clearly in the wrong place. I don't belong here. I've now insulted you more than once, by the way, and I can't fathom how that hasn't gotten me kicked to the curb. You're too nice. They're too nice. And I'm not. So I don't fucking belong here."

[GoblinFae]

Theo looked at the basket and dawning begin to reflect behind his eyes. Aneisha's present was not being well received. Silence hung heavily between them after Fletcher had spewed his vitriol, but Theodore was still slowly weighing his options. His feet wanted to run like the coward he was. Run and not stop until he was so far away no one could find him. But doing so would hurt the people who relied on his existence including Fletcher whose sole job was keeping him contained. Running was not a viable option.

His heart ached for the hurts inside this stranger. He wanted to help. He wanted to wrap his arms around him as one had done for him once and tell him the world is cruel but there's good in it too and that his anger is justified. But he was a coward and was sure such actions would get him tossed out the nearest window after being beaten into a pulp.

He could order him down to the training yard and let him pummel some poor recruit or training dummy into the ground. But neither the ordering nor sending a man on the verge of a breakdown seemed like the right course of action. He would win no favors by throwing his authority and privilege around and in turn humiliating the other man.

He could leave and let him wallow in whatever toxic quagmire of emotion he was sinking into. But Theo knew firsthand how bad drowning in plain sight felt. He knew how it destroyed the soul to be screaming inside for someone anyone to notice you and they stood right there and watched as the waves claimed you, doing nothing to help. He could keep himself in a cage of his own making but he wasn't going to allow someone else to drown with him. The world could be incredibly cruel, but it wasn't that mean either.

"No one is that nice. Aneisha spent all night making you that basket herself and was so proud to be able to welcome you with it that she told me right in front of you. She, sweet and silly girl that she is, wants something of you. She wants your friendship. She fawns because she is good but wants to know you are as well. Dragons don't bite if they're well fed.

"I'm not this nice. I accept the insults you hurl because I know them to be true. I sit in a gilded cage of my own making and cry how unfair my life is while others truly suffer and I hold the key to my own freedom. But I am a coward and I console myself that the reason I stay is because my presence supports the lives of others, like you. My only friends are servants obligated to like me whose care and attention I buy with nice gifts. What's the harm in a kind word if it makes people behave how you want towards you?

"And you're not nice at all. You're gruff and coarse and run with every opportunity to cause insult as if your life depended upon it while pretending to be poised and reserved. But..."

Theo took a calming breath and softened his volume and tone. "But, you care for a dog that is not your own even when the doing hurts you. You tease and laugh and soften yourself to not scare a shy girl that still believes in fantasy and wonder and mystery when everyone else has long since outgrown it. You accommodate a man even as you are furious with him so that he can stand on equal footing with you, when even his own mother would rather pretend he is not defective on a good day. You're not a monster either.

"If you want to leave, then leave. But find a better excuse than this cowardly attempt to provoke me into causing your own self-fulfilling prophecy as you run from happiness. I have enough misery I don't need to make yours too."

[Nightcrawler]

Fletch kept his mouth shut. As Theo spoke, the fire faded in him and his expression shifted to that same, cryptic look — like the dawning of respect. Though, when the man mentioned Aya, his eye darkened for a moment, and again when Theo mentioned his mother. At last, Theo was done, and even though he'd woven plenty more self-pity into what he'd said, it had struck true.

Fletcher released a quiet hiss of a chuckle through his nose. The faintest smile appeared. "Could have just thrown a punch, sir. It'd be less effort." He glanced at the basket, then sheepishly back at Theo. "Don't tell her I've been an ass," he added, before groaning and rubbing his face for the thousandth time. "Right," he muttered into his hands. He strode wearily towards the nanny door, unlocked it, and held it open. "Give me a moment to look presentable again, would you? I'll retrieve you in a minute."

[GoblinFae]

Theo snorted back, twisting his neck slightly to relieve his own tension. "Would have just broken my hand and it would felt like a feather hitting you all at once."

He gave a knowing look but nodded. "She loves raspberries and frogs. Just in case you were feeling inclined to be less of an...ass in the near future."

As Fletcher unlocked the conjoined door, a strange look came over the nobleman's face. He paled and hesitated as it was opened for him before nodding and hurrying through quickly. "Take your time."

[Nightcrawler]

He shut the door and latched it again. He took a breath. Then another, and then reluctantly approached the small mirror in the corner. He looked about as close to dog shit as he'd been expecting. His eye was bloodshot, both from lack of sleep and from wrestling with his own anger. A dark circle ringed it like a bruise. He'd neglected to shave yesterday evening, and already that silver-speckled stubble had grown right back and made him scruffy. In contrast with his surroundings, he looked so out of place: like someone had tracked mud in over a nice rug. I don't fucking belong here, he repeated to himself, but this time, Pretty Boy's retort echoed and slapped it out of him.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself," he murmured into the mirror. "They fire you, or they don't. Make some money. Feed the bloody dog." He turned without another glance, splashed his face with cool water from the basin, dried off, smoothed his hair down again, and went to fetch his charge.

[GoblinFae]

With the door closed behind him, Theodore allowed himself to pool onto the floor in the middle of his room. The adrenaline rush of standing up to the angry man with as much calmness as he could manage was quickly leaving his system leaving him feeling weak and shaky. Theo wanted to cry from the release. He knew he was lucky that Fletcher was a better man than he actually thought himself to be because plenty of other men would have thrown more than just a punch at him.

His knees felt weak as he struggled back up to his feet to splash some cold water on his face. For a brief moment his thoughts drifted back to the door and had to forcefully shake his head to send them away. He did not need to be thinking about that right now, he really would cry if he did.

'It's fine. Everything's fine. You're fine. He's fine. All is fine. Everything's fine. Fine, fine, fine. Breathe. You're fine...it's fine.'

He audibly exhaled and rolled his neck feeling it crunch and pop as he did before heading for his door when he felt Fletcher's footsteps return. Theodore nodded at the other man as if checking they were both good, then allowed the perfect polite mask to fall back into place. He lead Fletcher down to the main dining room where the Baron and Baroness were already seated far apart on opposite ends of the table.

While Theo attempted to take his seat as quickly and discretely as possible, his father sighed while looking up from the morning reports at him with a disapproving glance.

"There you are Teddy! Where have you been? Our entire breakfast has gone cold waiting for you to come down in the last five minutes. Why can't you be more considerate? Your poor father is practically wasting away and will be late for his meeting with the ship captains at this rate."

"My apologies Mother. My apologies Father. I will be more punctual in the future," Theo directed to each of his parents as trays of food were finally brought in. For the Baron it was a plate of various breakfast meats, toast, and eggs that he did not even look up from what he was reading to begin eating. For the Baroness it was a bowl of boiled eggs that sent her screeching.

"I said I wanted one, four-minute egg not four, one-minute eggs and where in God's name is our bread?"

The servant quickly murmured an apology while whisking the food away. Meanwhile Theo was presented with literal trays of food that would have easily served the entire staff let alone one person. The was a resigned drooping of his shoulders as he took it all in knowing it was expected of him but that he would never be able to finish it all. He filled his plate modestly and did his best not to catch his mother's eye so he could eat in relative peace. The atmosphere around him was so different than the warmth Fletcher had gotten to experience earlier. Here there was only the cold, weight of failed expectations to sour the good food and mood.

[Nightcrawler]

Backed against the wall, hands clasped behind him again, Fletch had no choice but to watch the absurd spectacle that was breakfast. The extravagant spread of dishes didn't anger him like the basket had; it wasn't his food, after all. It was theirs. It did feel like a dream, though. Like he still wasn't meant to be here or see any of this. He found a fixed point to stare at on the palladian window opposite him and held his mouth as still as he could make it. It was one hell of a feat to bite back a grimace here or a smirk there whenever the woman squawked like the oversized bird that she was.

His eye wandered outward to the grounds beyond the window. He found himself wanting to do anything other than stand there silent and chew on his own thoughts. Some sparring, maybe, or to practice some riding. Even having that chat with the stablehand about Aya seemed like a better distraction than this. Babysitting indeed. Theo wasn't wrong, was he?

At the thought, the man came into focus. Fletch glanced between him and his mother, then to the Baron, then back to him. He was clearly miserable. Here, surrounded by obscene wealth, he couldn't have been more different than the man who smiled in the kitchen and laughed at Aya. It was something Fletch would never understand, just like Theo would never understand what the basket meant. Still a puzzle, Pretty Boy, he thought, and returned his attention to that spot on the window.

[GoblinFae]

The meal passed in waves of cold silence and incessant nitpicking until finally the Baron excused himself, kissed his wife in passing, and retreated without so much as a word to his son. The Baroness continued her tyranny for several more minutes as her son ate incredibly slowly with his head down until she was finally done. She ruffled the boy's hair before shooting out of the room lamenting the lateness of the morning and all she still had to do.

Only then when finally alone with just the staff did Theo slump in his seat with a deep sigh. Two women hurried over to collect his trays of uneaten food, the elder scooting a few more eggs onto his plate pointedly before whisking it all away.

"Thank Kenna and give her my apologies please," he called after them before sitting up again to glower at his plate. "Did you get enough to eat this morning, Mr. Daw?"

[Nightcrawler]

Fletcher visibly relaxed as soon as the Baroness was out of sight — and out of earshot. He allowed himself a grimace and an eye roll at her before taking all other surroundings besides the window in again. The expression returned with a bit more bite when Pretty Boy asked if he'd eaten well. "Ate just fine," he replied, his brusqueness back now that the Baron and Baroness were gone. He eyed the eggs and his brow raised. "You know...Aya could help you with that. She's good at making problems disappear."

[GoblinFae]

Theo winced as he understood the look and realized his own foolish mistake. The feelings of self-torment didn't last long though as Fletcher suggested an alternate solution. The nobleman immediately perked up, daring to almost smile. "What an excellent guard dog she makes then," he replied while motioning over one of the women to gather some of the meat and the rest of the eggs in brown paper so he could take it with him.

"Shall we pay her a visit before I must go into town for my duties?"

[Nightcrawler]

"Oh, thank fuck," he muttered to himself at the mention of going in to town. Anything to get out of this place and move a bit. He wondered in passing what Pretty Boy was doing there in the first place, and why it was allowed when his visit to the market wasn't. He supposed he'd find out along the way. "Dunno that I'd refer to her as excellent, but...should talk to your man Dewey about her anyways, before she sticks her nose in trouble," he agreed. He pushed from the wall and motioned with his head for Theo to come along. "After you, then, sir."

They made their way out the front to the stables, with Fletcher greeting his fellow guardsmen as he passed them. At the expense of Theo's ability to read him, he positioned himself between the man and the dog, wary of what she'd done to him last time. He turned just long enough to gesture for the packet of table scraps. "Give them here. I don't want a repeat incident."

[GoblinFae]

Theo readily handed the parcel over, infinitely amused at Fletcher's protective stance against what was effectively an over-exuberant wolfdog. While Fletcher was left to deal with Aya, Theodore moved to the side to pet one of the barn cats that kept trying to bat at his head. The pair were soon greeted by a bright-eyed young man covered in hay and looking a bit breathless.

"Hiya, Mr. Theo...uh sir," Dewey greeted before noticing Fletcher and trying to be more professional without getting himself in trouble.

"It's alright Dewey, this is Mr. Jack Daw. Mr. Daw this our stablehand, Mr. Dewey Turnipseed. He's the one you'll be wanting to talk with regarding Aya's needs and training. He may be young but he has such a intuitive way with animals."

"Aw shucks, Mr. Theo," the lad said scratching at the back of his head looking shy and unsure before trying to remember himself and stand up straight and proper. "Uh your carriage is ready for you when you are sir. And oh thank you for the tonic. My sister's doing much better now."

"Glad to know it," Theodore replied warmly before turning to look up at Fletcher inquisitively. "Shall I leave you two to discuss things or do you need me here? There's a Miss Maple over there I'd like to have a word with otherwise."

[Nightcrawler]

The slightest hesitation flickered in his eye. "...Sure. Just...don't go far, sir. I'll meet you by the carriage." Fletch turned back to Dewey and extended a hand. "Just Jack's fine," he said with a grin that didn't quite erase how tired he was. He put his hands to his hips and cast a resigned look down at Aya. "Now. About this damned dog."

A few minutes later, the business of her training taken care of, he emerged and made for the carriage. "Another first, I suppose," he muttered as he approached the next display of wealth in what was sure to be a day full of them.

[GoblinFae]

Theo nodded before moving ahead to talk to and pet one of the older horses near the back of the stable. Unable to hear the conversation, he simply enjoyed a peaceful moment with the sweet mare that was insistent upon dragging him in for a hug with her chin and keeping him close.

By the time Fletcher was finished, Theo's hair was unknowingly thoroughly mussed but he was quick to fall into step with the other man. "Mr. Daw will be riding inside with me. We have much to discuss on the way," he informed Orz before stepping in to face forward. Only once they were on their way did the nobleman fully slump back in his seat while rubbing at his head and eyes.

"I'm regretting making us both suffer last night. Is everything sorted then for Aya? Did she enjoy her holding breakfast?"

[Nightcrawler]

Fletcher snorted. "Hardly suffering." If falling asleep on a couch to the sound of a piano was suffering, he wondered what the man would make of the actual meaning of it. He crossed his legs and leaned back, absently poking at the seat cushion with a finger. He'd been in a cart and in a wagon, both times crammed in with too much cargo. He'd never been in a carriage that was meant just for people and their comfort. His gaze slid lazily from detail to detail before settling back on Pretty Boy.

"Much to discuss, ey?" he repeated before answering in earnest. "She'll be fine. I like Dewey. Seems honest. Good with horses. And...dog's smart. She just needs anyone other than me to sort out her attitude." He snorted again, this time with a hint of disdain. "Got it from him, I suppose," he added to himself, his lips barely moving to make the words. He frowned at the thought and met Theo's eye again. "You ever need to slide some leftovers off your plate and into your lap for her, she'll help you with the evidence. Girl eats like it's her last meal. Might shut up your mum, too, if you're a good enough sneak."

[GoblinFae]

"I thought you could enjoy a bit of rest. If you'd rather walk I can stop it now though," he said his lip quirking slightly in contained jest. 

"Dewey is a good sort." His eyes narrowed as he tried to catch the muttering before shaking his head. Best to leave that one alone. He'd been screamed at enough today and it wasn't even noon yet.

Theo hummed and nodded. "My mother feeds me as if I am an entire starving nation. It will be good to not feel ill from over eating at least. My only consolation over the waste of late has been that the majority has been salvaged for the staff or the animals. I know," he sighed, "poor rich boy. Sorry."

The nobleman pinched at his brow sighing again as he stretched his long legs out across the floor. "My one permitted freedom is that a few days a week I am allowed to take the carriage into the nice parts of town and tutor other rich children in piano in the music hall there. Except for midweek when I meant to be a humble soul that teaches the local orphans how to play." He grimaced at the mocking tone he had taken. "I find them to be far more delightful and talented if I'm being honest.

"At least you'll be able to smoke outside the room while you wait?"

[Nightcrawler]

Pretty Boy seemed a bit more relaxed, now. Fletch was surprised to find that he had much more of a sense of humor than he'd originally let on. He was cynical, too, in a way that felt a bit closer to comfort. A quiet unease still hung between them from their conversation that morning, but Fletcher's respect for the man had grown from it nonetheless. He wasn't a pushover. Not at all.

"Yeah, I suppose," he replied to the smoking comment. "Running a bit low, though. Need to stretch them out for now." His leg began to bounce up and down at the thought. His head felt strange, too. He wished he hadn't gone through so many, so fast, but he'd never been good at self-control with vices. Eager for a distraction, he peered out the window and watched the trees pass them by. And then it came to him.

"Alright." He leaned forward. His head spun again, and he made a face. It felt familiar, but he couldn't place it. Had he eaten something off for breakfast? "Answer me this," he continued. "You're out of prison several days a week. You clearly hate your life, which — " Fletcher grumbled and made a dismissive gesture. "Your only babysitter to date has been Mr. Three Hours up there. Why not run?"

[GoblinFae]

Theo sputtered in confusion at the nickname. "Mr. Three Hours? Whaa--" he shook his head and waved a hand dismissing the importance of his own question. His expression became caged and he looked away to the window as he contemplated an answer. One hand formed into a tight fist at his side, the knuckles turning pure white with his grip before he relaxed and rested it open-palmed back on his knee, his face turning back to look at Fletcher.

"It is not a possibility for those that make deals with devils. As I will be busy teaching and have Mr. Orz with me, would you like to stop off and purchase yourself some more. I have coin if you require...floating."

[Nightcrawler]

It was a cryptic answer. Coupled with Theo's sudden tension, and the way he'd danced right around the subject and found a new one, Fletcher knew he'd struck a nerve. That kind of sly footwork was well familiar to him. It meant there were knots and tangles beneath the surface. He was too tired to pick at them now. He did, however, pocket it for later. "Huh. Devils. Sure," he replied, eyebrows raised at Theo's dramatics. "No. Best save your pity money for all those orphans," he added with a dark, humorless flash of a smirk. "'Scuse me, sir. I think I figured out what this is. Just knock on the roof if you need bodyguarding."

Fletcher scooted along the seat to the door and opened it to flap wildly back and forth. With one dirty boot on the seat cushion and both hands atop the carriage, he hoisted himself up like he'd done it a million times. Once he'd found his balance, he reached down and slammed the door shut again. "Ahoy," he called to Orz. "Joining you for a minute."