"You say such strange, beautiful, terrible things." How could she possibly break his heart? Nadya was nothing, meant nothing. To anyone. She knew what it was to have one's heart broken. Hers had been shattered repeatedly all her life. First losing her parents, and the last of it had been crushed at the loss of Noah. Her grandmother had always seemed determined to ensure that there was as little joy as possible in her life. She would never understand why the woman hated her so much.
No matter her own misery, it was wrong for her to seek comfort like this, especially from him. Keegan was such a sweet, gentle boy. He didn't deserve having to put up with her nonsense. So desperate for a friend, for someone, anyone, to care that she'd been disrupting his work and his life.
"I'm sorry, I make a mess of everything." No matter the thoughts running through her mind about how much Keegan must actually hate her, thinking her a spoiled, stupid girl, Nadya clung to him anyway. Even if he only said such sweet things to her out of some sense of obligation to pander to the whims of noblewoman, she still wanted to hear them, still wanted to feel his comforting embrace as he held her there in the relative privacy of his room.