Of Bards and Assassins

[GoblinFae]

It was market day in Summervale. Everywhere she turned, Tiraris, saw people bartering over their goods. The new shipments had come in and the day was beautiful, a perfect day for socializing. 'And a perfect day to be working,' she thought.

She was currently following her newest target with outward disinterest. Her client was interested in avenging the death of his wife caused by an errant healer. Tiraris was not interested in the exact details only in the money she would get out of it this time. She was charging a fortune for this job, not that she needed the money.

The merchants called out to her, enticing her to view their wares. Seeing the healer pause at an herb stall she too paused to examine the goods of the cart in front of her. The merchant began to sweet-talk her as she jingled her change purse about, trying to play the naive noble she was born to be.

[Anonymous]

Mort loved market day. There were tons of merchants selling all sorts of wares and alot of people with coin to spend. As he walked thru the crowds he helped himself here and there to some of that coin, along with any shiny wares an unobservant merchant may have left lying about.

Across the way he spots a noble woman, and very attractive to say the least, but what caught his eye most was the fat coin purse she was dangling in front of the merchant. He had found his new mark and the chase was on.

 He watch as she made her transaction with the merchant, waiting for the right moment to make his move. "Shouldn't be to hard." he thought to himself; "If she's dumb enough to wave money around like that she won't miss it anyways. Easy pickins'!!"

[GoblinFae]

Tiraris dropped her purse on the ground hoping to trick the merchant into thinking he could "pull the wool over her eyes" so to speak. She hated her current role. It was too close to a life she had willingly given up.

Testily, she ran her hand down her side, feeling for her knives hidden out of sight. A simpering smile and a sigh, left the merchant groveling. 'What I would give to be wearing armor and holding Isilotsë.' Fanning herself, she pretended to be out of breath. Grabbing the cart's edge, she collapsed to her knees.

In front of her was her change purse. Placing her hand on it, she was surprised to find another hand already there. Looking up she met the eyes of the stranger. "Theif," she hissed under her breath.

[Anonymous]

Mort watched as the woman dropped the purse to the ground, he had found his chance. He would dash in grab the purse and be lost in the crowd before anyone was the wiser. Just as he was about to leap things started to get more intense.

 The woman was acting as if to faint and acting was using the word loosely. Mort knew how to act  and this was a class B performance if he had ever seen one, but it seemed to fool the merchant none the less. Then to make the situation worse there was a thief with his hand on the purse. "How dare he try to steal my spoils." he mumbled to himself. Maybe he could turn this around to his advantage.

Grabbing his own coin purse he places a few coppers, some other small pieces of metal, and a few small rocks inside. Chanting a quick magic incantation over the bag to give it the illusion of the womans bag he heads towards the two on the ground.

Stepping on the waist of the thief he grabs the womans purse while helping her to her feet. All the while in the process he switches her purse for his. Handing her the enchanted purse he says to her. "Here you go my Lady. I seen your sudden weakness of the knee. I'm sure this stranger here meant no harm and was only going to hand your purse to you or maybe this fine merchant would have come to the aid, but seeing as I arrived when I did my guess is we'll never truly know that answer. So I must be on my way now, you all have a wonderful day."

He starts backing up away from the three and continuing to speak as he does so. "Ma'dam it may be wise to get out of the sun. You wouldn't want anymore of those fainting spells to come upon you today." he then turns and blends in with the crowd smiling gleefully to himself and thinking "O' what a surprise she'll have when she opens that pouch and the magic wears off.....whichever comes first."

[GoblinFae]

Tiraris was so focused on the thief that she had missed the sleight of hand that her purse had undergone. However, what she did not miss was how the purse no longer held the same weight. To someone unaccustomed to recognizing tiny details, the purse would have felt the same. To Tiraris it was at least five or six coins lighter, if it was even her purse at all. Thinking quickly she deducted that the only people other than her to have touched the purse were the thief she had caught and the stranger who had handed her the purse back.

'If the thief was in the process of stealing his hand would have been in my purse not on top of it. Therefore, the real thief here is, she turned to the departing and babbling stranger. "You! Wait, sir I think you dropped something," she called after him watching as he disappeared into the crowd. 'I will take care of him later.'

She looked towards the healer and saw him making his way towards her. Quickly she made her transaction giving the merchant her entire unopened purse. To her money was not important. Killing lined her pockets handsomely.

The healer began to fawn over her and led her to a shaded, out of the way area to look her over. Making quick work of the target, Tiraris had him murdered and disposed of in a manner of minutes before she was off again. Feeling in the mood for a real hunt she took off in search of a thief.

[Anonymous]

Mort ducks and weaves his way thur the crowds clinching to the purse tightly. After turning down a few more streets and to a place that isnt as crowded he makes sure he wasn't followed.
 
He finds himself a nice hiding spot under an outside staircase leading up into a building. Opening the purse he peeps inside. "Now this is a haul" Thinking as his eyes light up, "There must be over 100 gold in here." Turning his head from side to side as if looking for someone his says aloud in a whispered tone. "I better hide this there are thieves arround here."

Laughing to himself he pours half the purse in one boot and half in the other. Strolling out into the street he sings aloud "I've got boots that jingle, jangle, jingle...." and dancing along to the clinking sound of the coins under his feet he heads towards the nearest tavern.

[GoblinFae]

Tiraris' sensitive ears picked up the sound of a large amount of coin clinking together. Following the sound she found her illusive thief. Walking up behind him she listened amused to his silly song before finishing it for him "with the money of a naive noblewoman." She stepped from behind him into his path. "I believe have something that belongs to me. In fact I think you have several hundred things that belong to me. I would really," she pulled out her dagger from her boot, "really like it all back." She pointed the the blade at him. "Now."

[Anonymous]

Mort throws his hands into the air. "I see you recovered from your....sun stroke. I'm not quite sure what you are referring to that I may have that is your. Considering posession is 9/10th's of the law and in which time the item I believe you have in question was in the hands of another. So point being I never took anything from you per say, but from another. Now if you wish to I would be more than willing to split the take with you say 60/40, me with the 60% of course, since I did do all the work."

[GoblinFae]

Tiraris smirked darkly baring her teeth as she did. "How about we split it 100/0 where I get the 100 of course. After all I am the one holding the knife here." Upon mentioning said knife, Tiraris crouched closely in front of the gnome her face in his and her blade sharply against his abdomen. "We are not what we seem. Do not mistake what you see on the surface for the madness within. I am no fool. You should not be one as well," she coaxed him. "Hand over the money and this can be over here and now with you no worse for wear." She pressed the blade harder into his flesh but not enough to pierce. "With me this close to you your blood is sure to stain my pretty dress. I would truly hate for that to happen," she claimed making the face of a pouting little girl.

[Anonymous]

Mort could see she was more than she appeared and even if he did slip pass her she would hunt him down forever to get it back, its not worth a few coins.

"OK, Ok I get your point." Looking down at the knife at his belly. Slowly he sits down on the ground and starts taking off his boots. He turns the first one upside down empting its contents onto the street in front of him. " I would have hoped we could have came to an agreement. We should work together!! If not for ME back there you would have lost your purse anyways along with whatever you was trying to get from that merchant. Trust me you needed me to help lend some acting support on that performance of yours......fainting from sun stroke. " Shaking his head back and forth in a negative manner.

After finishing with the second boot he sits there bare footed in the street "There! There it is take it, but just so you know you may be gaining some gold, but you will be missing out on the business opportunity of a lifetime."

[GoblinFae]

Taking the coins she said, "I have no real need to act in my line of work. My occupation relies on other skills. Skills where I work alone." She stood putting the knife away. "I would never take acting lessons from a gnome who managed to get himself caught by the very person he stole from. It is considered bad form."

She walked away a few steps before stopping and turning back around. "For your song," she taunted throwing him a few gold coins. She continued on her way to the nearest pub, stopping only once to give the rest of the coins to a beggar boy. 'Acting lessons? Work together? Now that would be interesting.'

[Anonymous]

Mort picked up the coins and put them in his pocket. There was something about the woman that intrigued him. Maybe he envied the fact that she found him out so quickly or maybe it was her beauty that caugth his eye. What ever the reason she wasn't going to get away that easy.He watched as the woman walked he thought to himself "Bad form, Bad form. She just doesn't know yet how bad she needs me. If at first you don't succeed, steal again!!"

He picked up his boots in one hand and started tip-toeing after her making extra sure not to be seen. He slaps himself in the forehead as he watches in amazment her giving the beggar the rest of HIS gold. As soon as she is  pass he walks by the beggar taking back the coin she had gave the beggar and gives the beggar those few coins she had gave him. Patting the beggar on the leg with a big smile " I'm truly sorry there ol' chap those were not meant for you. See, she is a mental patient and i'm her doctor, she has a condition were she can't hold on to money , but here is the change.  Buy yourself something nice."

He continues to follow her a safe distance behind

[GoblinFae]

Tiraris snorted softly when she heard the persistent gnome steal the money from the beggar boy. 'To each their own profession. Who am I to judge?' she conceded. Twisting her head with her hand first to one side then other, Tiraris gave the impression of cracking her neck when she was in fact looking over her shoulder. She did not see the gnome. 'But that does not mean he is not there. I can still hear him.'

Smirking she entered the tavern. It was a shadier one, certainly not the place for a young lady in all the finery of a noblewoman. 'But who ever said I as a lady?' She moved to a corner that allowed her to have her back to the wall and a panoramic view of the place.

She had just started to enjoy her drink when a hulking figure stumbled over and began to leer at her. She tried ignoring him. She tried glaring at him. He would not leave. He tried sweet-talking her. He tried threatening her. She would not bite. Then he spilled her drink, all over her. 'Let the games begin. May the best assassin win.'

[Anonymous]

Mort made it into the tavern less than a minute behind the mysterious woman he was following. He slinked in and found a dark corner at the far end of the bar where he could see her. He watched as she was talking to a huge fella. He couldn't quite tell what they were talking about, but from the expressions and words he read on her lips she was trying to get him to leave. Just then the fella spilled a drink all over her, boy was she pissed then. Mort was about to go to her rescue, but then thought about how she handled herself in the street and was curious to see how she would handle this one.

He made his way closer to the two, being ever so quite and hiding as not to make any distrubances, as to hear more of what would happen next. If need be Mort readied himself to come to the aid of the damsel at a moments notice.

[GoblinFae]

Tiraris rose slowly from her seat before she was harshly back-handed right back into it. "Sit down and stay awhile kitty. Big Tom wants to play awhile," the man sneered. Touching her lip, Tiraris was not surprised to find red coating her fingers. Looking up at him she motioned him into the seat across from her.

"Big Tom is it? Are you new around here? I do not think I have seen you around."
"That would be because sweet things like you do not belong here, kitten," he replied licking his lips. "But don't worry yourself, Big Tom'll take good care of you."
"Have you ever heard the name Silverd'art before?"
"Of course, I have. I'm Silverd'art. Why, have a husband who needs killing?"

Tiraris shook her head, snickering. "You Silverd'art, unlikely. In fact it is impossible. You are missing," she looked him up and down, "certain vital anatomy." Moving quickly she pulled her knife and threatened him under the table with it. "Now you were saying," she said poking him with the knife.

"I'll uh just, just be goin'. Sorry to bother you miss," he said standing carefully to avoid losing certain "vital anatomy."
"Silverd'art. Miss Silverd'art," she said smirking at the man's shocked look.
"But, but, you're a woman! You can't be that assassin."
"Yes," she said running her finger along the tip of the dagger, "that is the last thing my victims always say too."

Tiraris found it all very hysterical, minus her getting slapped in the face and losing her drink. But, being underestimated had always been one of her greatest weapons. 'It does all the work for me.' She laughed aloud and coyly waved to the fleeing man.

[Anonymous]

Mort hops up into Big Tom's seat just was he starts to run for the door. Looking over at Tiraris he asks "Do you treat  all men with a point of a knife? Don't anwser that, I don't think I want to know. However I had your back to whole time just in case things got ugly, but if you really are Silverd'art things never get ugly for you.

He put a small pouch on the table and slides it over towards Tiraris "Here is 40% of the gold we were going to split. Your part is only thirty gold pieces now I think you left some in the dirt and you handed the rest to that boy. I had to give him two pieces to get the rest back so I took those two out of your share. What! you didn't expect me to pay for that. Anyways you shouldn't have given all that gold to him no how. What you trying to do upset the balance of economics around here. He doesn't need to go from a pauper to a prince in an instance. So whats our next plan? Should I go hide and you follow me this time? Following was fun,but you can't be IT all the time."

He pretty much continues to talk and talk until Tiraris speaks to get a word in edge wise. He only stops talking to Tiraris for a brief moment to call to a barmaid for an ale.

[GoblinFae]

Tiraris honestly did not know whether to be amused or irritated by the little thief's persistence. She waited keeping quiet as the gnome talked on and on and on. 'Gods above he can talk! Who knew something so small had so much to say.'

He only paused once to get an ale from the barmaid, giving Tiraris the advantage she needed to cut him off start talking herself. "Plan? Alright I will tell you the plan," she said lowering her voice and leaning in close. "Do you see that door there?" She pointed to the backdoor of the place. "You are going to walk through it and go about your business. Meanwhile, I am going to do what I do best, which is to try to not kill anyone without first getting paid to do so. You know, you really are make that little part of my job very difficult."

She leaned back and motioned her head to the door. "Now get lost, I am not interested in what you are peddling." Ignoring the gnome she called the barmaid over for another beer. Just as the drink was plopped down in front of her, the pub's door was thrown open by a man shouting about wanting to speak to Silverd'art.

Tiraris rolled her eyes wanting nothing more than to just disappear. 'Maybe then I would have enough peace and quiet to drink my beer.' The man was directed to her table and plunked down a heavy change purse in front of the thief. "Sorry sweetheart but, I need ta talk ta Silverd'art. Why don't ya scuttle on off to those gents at the bar. I'm sure they will pay ya fer yur time," he said to her sitting down. Turning to the gnome he began, "so yur the feller that scared off ole Big Tom. You're mighty small, but if ya're who they say ya're then I'ma willin' ta be impressed."

'He thinks the gnome is me. This day is just getting better and better. Well Mr. Actor how are you going to weasel your way out of this one?'

[Anonymous]

Mort quickly stands up in the chair and still barely reaches to look the man eye to eye. "Look here mister I don't think you know who you're talking to, and believe me when I say you truly don't. First off SHE is with me and SHE has already been paid for our adventures together so far. So if you know any better you'd stop flappin that tongue of yours before it gets cut out." Looking over at Tiraris "Right Partner!......Right!....Right?...??? He whispers over to Tiraris thru a gritted teethed smile, " So were is that knife of yours now, huh? Get ta cuttin.!!"

Just then the big man starts a great bellowing laughter and as he looks to swing a punch at Mort, the swift little gnome pulls a knife of his own from somewhere and slices thur the big mans belt. Down to the floor goes the mans pants and Mort shuffles under the table. In astonishment the man quickly bends over to retrieve his fallen pants and just as he does Mort sticks him in the butt with his dagger. "I warned you, now get out of here!!"

Stumbling over his trousers the big man lumbers quickly for the door while the whole tavern is a roar with laughter. Mort calls up to Tiraris from under the table."Hey I should have hid here first, I love the view down here."

[GoblinFae]

Tiraris watched the events enfold in front of her. She was slightly sickened by the idea of "being paid for" by the gnome. But, decided to let it slide. The spectacle was just too funny to interrupt.

'Partner? Not over my dead body.' When he asked about the knife she shrugged smiling innocently. "Sorry" she mouthed to him before he was back in the fray. She chuckled as the gnome cut off the man's belt and then stabbed him the rear.

Tiraris immediately sobered though at the mention of the view under the table. Scowling fiercely, her good humor lost, she kicked harshly at gnome before reaching under the table and dragging him out. Throwing him on the seat she glared at him.

Taking a deep breath she sat back again and began to inspect her nails. "You do realize that had we been partners, which by the way we are not, that would have been our paying customer you just stabbed and scared off. Standing she grabbed her tankard to move over to the bar. As she left she patted him on the head. "A word of advice, stick to what you do best. That is, of course, if you are any good at anything." She laughed, taking a swig of the beer and walked off.

'Well he certainly has a way with people. He cannot act, he cannot steal, and he cannot win customers. He says I am the one who needs help. Keep dreaming pint-size. Partners? Hah!'

[Anonymous]

Mort was starting to get upset. He had enough of being man handled...especially by a woman. He waited a few seconds as Tiraris sat at the bar before he charged over.

Throwing an old smelly coin pouch in front of Tiraris he tugs on one of the pleats in her dress and standing there with his hand on his hips he commences with his speech. " Look here sister. I do my best very nicely and I'm GREAT at alot of things and just so you know I did get paid....that there is his coin purse. Now to you it may not seem like but a few silver in an old purse, but it least my victims are still alive afterwards to were I can make another withdrawal later. So it's just a few silver. I would rather make ten fast silver than one slow and drawn out gold piece, tracking these people down, watching them for days, blah di blah di blah Bor-ING.

Tears comes to his eyes and he begins to sob. "Now, if you want to end our partnership so soon that's your choice. I'll miss all the mis-adventures we've been thru these pass few....hours. I really wish you would reconsider cause i'll miss YOU more than all the adventures in the world." Wiping his nose with one hand he pulls a handkercheif out with the other. After blowing his nose loudly he caresses her leg and begins crying even more loudly.